Crap, I don't know.
I'm not sure what is mean.
But, I certainly used to scare the shit out of my
wife. She had a fear of drowning, and I'd scare
her while she was under water (wouldn't take much).
Though, some less intentional cruelties were probably
worse - poorly chosen and hurtful words, such as when
we were breaking apart, and I got her to tell me that
my lack of affection was ONE major cause, I told her that
I could pretend. Thing is, I really meant it - as one's actions
can become what they want.
I'm just going to cop out, and go with the rape for the second
answer. Wouldn't hold if it was to people that I loved/didn't love,
but I pretty much disliked the girl.