Interesting Topic P Brought Up

[The_P]

Point.

Taken?

[The_P]

1. Let them know where they stand, that no possible real-life encounters will happen. Don't prolong it for months.

2. If that person wishes to send you their address, etc, ask yourself that, if you prefer your real-life friends more than anyone else, do you really want this to develop further? Set 'em straight. Don't offer or make promises to send them birthday cards, christmas presents, etc.

3. Don't take their problems on board, and don't share yours either.

4. Don't delude them with notions that you care for them, etc, when you don't really mean it in that way. Reserve giving these compliments towards those that you have a real connection with.

If you follow these guidelines, you won't mislead people online.

[McGiver]

stay at arms length?

[The_P]

Oh yeah, and 5. Don't call me "friend" if I'm disposable. I am not your fucking friend.

[Pyraxis]

3. Don't take their problems on board, and don't share yours either.

Gotta disagree with this one. Lots of people exchange casual advice online without necessarily having a deep friendship behind it.

[The_P]

3. Don't take their problems on board, and don't share yours either.

Gotta disagree with this one. Lots of people exchange casual advice online without necessarily having a deep friendship behind it.

Eh, fair enough. I'm still in bitter mode, it seems. :p

[ozymandias]

3. Don't take their problems on board, and don't share yours either.

Gotta disagree with this one. Lots of people exchange casual advice online without necessarily having a deep friendship behind it.

Gotta agree with Pyraxis on this one, I don't have to be a "close friend" to want to support someone who I feel might find what I say useful.  If they don't like what I say they can ignore me or tell me to fuck off.   I just figure (or used to) that if somebody posted an issue, they wanted feedback..........................boy was I wrong in many cases.  Now I think twice, unless I really can't help myself!  I just try not to take things personally if it gets a negative reaction.

[McGiver]

advice is like a whores ass....it's never absolutely free.

[ozymandias]

I'm not sure of that analogy, but, when I throw out advice/suggestions/support I'm not exactly looking for anything in return.  If somebody tells me to fuck off..............I fuck off.  Or if I get ignored, then I say nothing further....usually.  I'm not looking for alliances/sex/friendship.
Cyber alliances are like building a house on a sand dune, doesn't work.  Sex......cybersex doesn't work for me.  Friendships are nice, but, in cyberspace..what is a friendship?  It has always seemed to me that cyberfriendships were at best a pleasant way to pass the time.  Little to no expectations, there's no eye or physical contact, nothing to really form a lasting bond over.  Just a pleasant pretext to wile away an idle hour.

Now having said that, I feel  "friendships" with Callaway, PI, Drunkardswalk and others, but ultimately, it's not the same as a real life friendship.
Real life freindships are both emotional/physical/mental give and take in real time, 2 out of three on the internet ain't bad, but, it's just not the same.

But, comparing advice giving on a forum to a whore's ass is a bit of stretch, but then again, thats just you being you.  Thats not a criticism, just a pragmatic observation.

[ozymandias]

BTW, I'm headed for bed. Take your time responding I'll be reading it at around 7 am EST.

[McGiver]

i think cyber friendships are ideal...
you can get what you need without eye contact.

far less responsibilities as well.

oh, and the best part....it is much easier to walk away, if need be.

[Calandale]

advice is like a whores ass....it's never absolutely free.

I don't know about advice, but the other is sometimes.

[Peter]

Have you ever had any incidences online where you misread people and fall out for a short period of time, Pyraxis? Compared to me, you appear (online, anyway) to have the ball in your court at all times without letting your emotions get in the way of things.

I've misread people plenty of times (sometimes you), but it doesn't cause fallouts. If I catch myself getting genuinely mad, my first instinct is to get the hell away from the forum until I can think straight. I think I fell out with Peter once after getting touchy over some sex comment or other. I have more emotion behind me than it looks like, I just (usually) try to keep it out of my writing style.

Am I forgiven yet?  Are we going to have make-up sex?

[Peter]

I often listen to friend's problems and offer advice where appropriate.  Someone was telling me last night that I was a good person and that they were really glad I'd been online for them to talk to about stuff, and that she wished she could be non-judgemental like me.  I've been in situations though where people were only interested in venting their problems on me, and didn't reciprocate when I had problems of my own, which was pretty crappy.

[Pyraxis]

Am I forgiven yet?  Are we going to have make-up sex?

Yes, and not a chance, you whore.