I was walking to stay in shape yesterday with a friend and I ended up being his wingman so there ended up being an impromptu date at a bar and now I have a woman who is cool, but I am not interested in her, probably expecting a call today. I'm atheist, she is Buddhist, she smokes and drinks, I don't and now looking back over the events since Friday I can see where my going in the shop for coffe, then a kite could be interpreted as interest on my part. Fuck! I hate always being 2 or 3 steps behind in social/potentially romantic situations.
That is too bad, sometimes the nicest people just aren't right for you. I hope you figure out a solution that doesn't leave either of you feeling too bad.
Could she be a potential friend, rather than a partner? Or are you getting signals she's really keen?
By the end of the evening yesterday it was apparent that she is keen rather than wanting a friend. Being the vacillating dumbshit I am, I am considering either blowing it off or calling to see if she wants to take a long walk on the SF Waterfront or go shooting.
I am atheist and don't smoke or drink, but I would happily have a gf who was a smoking, drinking buddhist
Although I'd rather no smoking, but I can live with it
The smoking is more a put off than the drinking, if the drinking is an occasional thing. I do admire that she is making a go of running a business. I suspect the fact that you haven't been laid yet might make you a bit less picky. That is not intended as a put down Soph.
I guess if there's no 'good' feel, then there isn't. I tend not to know I like someone for a very long time.
I do remember being put off by a smoking meat eater when I was a non smoking vegetarian, and no amount of time would have gotten me over that back then. So I get that.
But, if the smoking thing is the only big barrier, and the rest seems ok...I'd actually spend some time with her, and if you couldn't get over the smoking, then tell her. She may just stop. She may not...but I'd still tell her it was a barrier once you'd established she might be a potential mate.
Or, you could just ring her now and say you don't want to see her again!