They called a meeting of department managers today (I am NOT a manager - I am a "senior" by job description and pay grade, two steps below management status) I was just performing a normal day's duties within the rigors of my "new" (last month) job, when the GM (general manager - everyone's boss) called me into the meeting and began to ask me tough almost impossible-to-answer-intelligently-on-the-cuff-with-NO-preparation, relevant-to-his-agenda questions. I mean he really put me on the FUCKKING spot!! He inducted me into his meeting (which I had NO knowledge of before it was called to order this morning and I was not mentioned - so I went ahead with what toil I had planned for the day) to support much of what he was already talking about to my management pool.
ZOMBIEFUCKK!!
I stammered, hesitated, had to think of the right answers from my position's perspective about the huge array of subjects about which I was being asked to contribute, off the fucking cuff!!
I came out of there ready to quit, because I felt like such a fucking loser!!
I made out OK after it all, though. Several people patted me on the back (which I fucking HATE, but I get the sentiment behind their gestures and will do some bagtime penance, later) and made a big deal about how informative I was and how they are glad to have someone with my knowledge and experience on their team ...
(FFS, I've only been there a year and a half ... I have been moved around like a god damn decoration lately I do NOT know what the fuck I am doing!!)
If they think this kind of shit builds confidence, they are wrong! I only learned how much more than I can muster, consistently, is expected of me.
