having cancelled my PhD viva once las month (three days before it was scheduled to happen), the stupid fucktards at uni said it would be re-arranged for the 21st of this month. now they're changing it again, and trying to arrange it on a day i've already said i'm not available - it's one of my lecturing days, and i can't afford to lose a whole day's pay (i only work one and a little bit of a day, as it is).
i can't do anything, make any plans to do anything, until this fucking thing's been organised, and out of the way. and apart from anything else, i can't keep preparing for the fucking thing - it's like being an athlete and preparing for a marathon, and it being postponed several times. you just can't maintain that level of readiness.
i am SO FUCKING STRESSED OUT ABOUT THIS! it's REALLY getting to me now. i've explained how freaked out i get about being left in limbo, and about change, and they really don't seem to be getting it at all.
fucking wankers. i do NOT need this.
/stresses wildly.
i want to smash things, preferably people. or cry (which i can't).