then, moments later, seeing that you quoted me looking like an illiterate fool. too late then to bother, even though i am not totally illiterate.
We KNOW that. I was actually worried,
when you said you weren't drinking. I know
what kind of state I'd have to be in, to be typing
that way.
you make it sound worse than it was, i think.
i was very tired and fatigued from lack of sleep over a long time, plus i hate it when i think i have made a friendship and it turns out that she hates me and blames me for some of the things that are going downhill in her life. i had been yelled at and a respected co-worker pointed her finger at me and screamed incoherent, emotional shit at me and it took a toll.
the truth is i have really tried to work my ass off and learn as much behind the scenes stuff as i can as quickly as i can in an effort to ensure that i will still have some form of employment after the christmas crunch season is over. the two people who were jumping around and pointing their fingers at me really upset me. they have been there for much longer -two years and six years. they both have started to think that i am there to take their jobs.
fuck!! i am nothing but new meat trying to find my own way. the fact that we had a change of supervisory position when i first started was incidental and the new sup' could not start for over a month. that meant that i had a month of trying to fudge along without guidance and had to investigate the different areas on my own. i am not there to take anyones job!
I had missed some sleep, plus the silly drunk the other night wanting to get in my face, long hours at work. it all adds up after a while.
I'm not sure how long i went without sleep, but i know that i did not sleep thursday night or friday night and saturday i had that car driving problem and did not sleep. i had had a slight nap sunday night, i think.
