listen, chickpea, as far as i'm concerned, my "critical-condition monitor" (fnargh, fnargh) is inseparably conjoined with a shag. 
although i've never heard it called that before. should this go in the "stupidest euphemisms for sex" thread?
lol.
Uncalled for!
don't get all snitty. i was merely making a joke about sex being a critical condition for me, and what bit of me might be the monitor.
honestly - some people are so touchy. 
so, kiss and make up? 
I got the joke, but not the reason for the discounting aspersion.
I'm not touchy, but it seemed you were being snittty with me, so I flipped you off.
No big deal, really, but if there was a female equivalent I would have used that, instead.
I'm not pissed!
Consider your kiss returned, deeply and deliberately enough that you realize that I am far, really far, from virginal.
