Just one quick bitch ...

[Tesla]

People

[enronh]

The same two bastards came by my house tonight at 1940. We had just put the baby down and were tucking in the other two when the doorbell rang. My wife and I both were like, "Who the hell could that be? I'm not answering the door at this hour!" So we continued with our parental duties and hear the storm door open and then a knock on the front door. So my wife asks me if I had an altercation with someone on the way home from work, since I have been known to have meltdowns when people attack me for just going about my business. I said, "Not that I am aware of!" Many times I have no clue who the person is and why they are confronting me. So she goes to look out the window and sees two young guys in white collared shirts, black slacks, and ties standing behind my car, bending over to read my bumper stickers. Then she said one of them looked back at the house just before reaching down to my bumper as if he was going to try and remove some of my bumper stickers. So I rushed down stairs and opened the door in a way that would get my point across. They both stand back up and start walking out of my driveway. I said, "Do I need to call the cops to have you arrested for vandalizing my car and trespassing?" They started to jabber, but I just slammed the door at 'em.

For context:

Today I had a couple of young men come to my door wanting to discuss scripture with me. Usually I tell such folks to go f**k themsleves. Today I simply said, "That would not be a good idea" and closed the door as they tried to start in on their sales pitch. I had noticed them earlier in my driveway reading my bumper stickers, which make it clear I have no interest in hearing such idiotic psychobabble. Plus, my neighborhood has a legally binding no solicitation policy. Next time maybe I'll have the police arrest them.

What do your bumber stickers say? (just curious)

[Trigger 11]

What do your bumper stickers say? (just curious)

"Equal rights are not special rights"
"Evolution is a theory, kind of like gravity!"
"I'm straight, but not narrow"
"My country invaded Iraq and all I got was this expensive gas"
"After we're done spreading democracy in Iraq, can we have a little over here?"
"He's your god, they're your rules, YOU burn in hell"
"FUCK BUSH"
"Wicked cool bumpah stickah" from Boston
"Support the Earth! 01.20.09 Bush's last day!" -And it cannot come soon enough!
"Have you forgotten jesus? Isn't about time you did?"
"Republicans are people too...mean, greedy, selfish people!"
"ASPIE" with a yellow smilie that has a straight smile.
"THINK: It's not illegal yet"
"I don't brake for Yankees fans"
"Obama/Biden '08" from moveon.org
"ear-X-tacy louisville, kentucky" from the best record store in the world. At least of the ones I have been to.
"Dropkick Murphys" logo
17the Street Surf Shop logo with one of the kids from the 1980s shirts...the one who has his black & white slip-on Vans and sunglasses and is picking his nose.
Wave Riding Vehicles logo with the five dolphins forming 3/4 of a circle as if they are shaped like a wave.
"Yankees Suck!" -Around here people think I hate people from the Northeast, but they are soooo stupid they cannot connect the dots and see that I have Boston Red Sox stickers all over my car.
"What we really need is a moment of SCIENCE in the public schools"
A Peace symbol and a Yin & Yang symbol
"Someone else for president!" Hopefully I can take that one off soon!!!
"Think Globally - Act Locally"
"M.K. Gandhi An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind"
"Homophobia is a social disease"
"Those who ignore nature are condemned to deplete it!"
"Love your Mother" with a picture above the North Pole of the Earth
"The Earth does not belong to us, we belong to the Earth" with a picture of an Indian
"Remember Mitch with love and laughter! www.mitchhedberg.com"
"Rice is great when I'm hungry and want 1,000 of something! www.mitchhedberg.com"
"Humans aren't the only species on Earth. We just act like it."
"Those who vote decide NOTHING. Those who count the votes decide EVERYTHING! -Joseph Stalin"
"He's NOT MY president!"
"Come the rapture, can I have your car?"
"Come the rapture, we'll have the Earth to ourselves"
"The road to hell is paved with Republicans"
"You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedoms it gives its assimilated conformists -Abbie Hoffman"
"My other vehicle is the Millennium Falcon"
"I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore!" with a Darwin Amphibian
"Plants & Animals disappear to make room for your FAT ASS"
"Last time we mixed politics and religion, people got burned at the stake"
"Friends don't let friends vote Republican"
"Democrats think the glass is half full. Republicans think the glass is theirs."
"Endthisless war" from moveon.org

There is also a picture of a man and a woman holding up bibles with a circle and line over them, as in "No Preaching!"

Plus I have an assortment of Darwin Amphibians. One that has various tools for hands and says "EVOLVE!" Another one is eating a jesusfish and says "Reality Bites!" The third one is doing a jesusfish doggie style and says "EVOLUTION!" There is also a Tyrannosaurus Rex eating a jesusfish.

My schools are represented:

"UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI"
"UNIVERSITY OF LOUISVILLE"
"UNIVERSITY OF VIRGINIA"

I have Strong Bad and The Cheat stickers from www.homestarrunner.com.

A large Boston Red Sox logo with two smaller ones that also say "2004 World Series Champions!" Also there is a shamrock with the Red Sox logo in the middle.

A 2001 Hurricane Club member sticker with the green and orange U logo from the University of Miami.

A large New England Patriots helmet.

A 7M3 logo, from a band I am friends with called Seven Mary Three. I also have this logo as a tattoo on my right arm.

M-LAB logo for my brother-in-law's band in New York.

SAMPLES Colorado license plate sticker for the band The Samples whom I know and have done a bunch of video and other promotional stuff for.

A Nerf Herder sticker for the band Nerf Herder.

[Pyraxis]

 

What do you drive, an 18-wheeler?

[Lucifer]

i was thinking the same thing! 

either that or a supertanker.   :lol:

[Christopher McCandless]

i was thinking the same thing! 

either that or a supertanker.   :lol:

How about a tank? With some of those stickers, she needs all the protection that she can get!

[enronh]

  Jeez Trig' I was expecting you had maybe 2.

[Callaway]

Wow, that's a lot of bumper stickers.  There was a recent study at Colorado State University linking the number of bumper stickers on one's car to road rage.

In the study, it was simply the number of "territorial markers" such as bumper stickers, personalized license plates and window decals that was linked to road rage, not their content.

Looking to Avoid Aggressive Drivers? Check Those Bumpers.

Shankar Vedantam
Washington Post Staff Writer
Monday, June 16, 2008; A02


Three horrors await Americans who get behind the wheel of a car for a family road trip this summer: the spiraling price of gas, the usual choruses of "are-we-there-yet?" -- and the road rage of fellow drivers.

Divine intervention might be needed for the first two problems, but science has discovered a solution for the third.

Watch out for cars with bumper stickers.

That's the surprising conclusion of a recent study by Colorado State University social psychologist William Szlemko. Drivers of cars with bumper stickers, window decals, personalized license plates and other "territorial markers" not only get mad when someone cuts in their lane or is slow to respond to a changed traffic light, but they are far more likely than those who do not personalize their cars to use their vehicles to express rage -- by honking, tailgating and other aggressive behavior.

It does not seem to matter whether the messages on the stickers are about peace and love -- "Visualize World Peace," "My Kid Is an Honor Student" -- or angry and in your face -- "Don't Mess With Texas," "My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Student."

Hey, you clown! This ain't funny! Aggressive driving might be responsible for up to two-thirds of all U.S. traffic accidents that involve injuries.

Szlemko and his colleagues at Fort Collins found that people who personalize their cars acknowledge that they are aggressive drivers, but usually do not realize that they are reporting much higher levels of aggression than people whose cars do not have visible markers on their vehicles.

Drivers who do not personalize their cars get angry, too, Szlemko and his colleagues concluded in a paper they recently published in the Journal of Applied Social Psychology, but they don't act out their anger. They fume, mentally call the other driver a jerk, and move on.

"The more markers a car has, the more aggressively the person tends to drive when provoked," Szlemko said. "Just the presence of territory markers predicts the tendency to be an aggressive driver."

The key to the phenomenon apparently lies in the idea of territoriality. Drivers with road rage tend to think of public streets and highways as "my street" and "my lane" -- in other words, they think they "own the road."

Why would bumper stickers predict which people are likely to view public roadways as private property?

Social scientists such as Szlemko say that people carry around three kinds of territorial spaces in their heads. One is personal territory -- like a home, or a bedroom. The second kind involves space that is temporarily yours -- an office cubicle or a gym locker. The third kind is public territory: park benches, walking trails -- and roads.

Previous research has shown that these different territorial spaces evoke distinct emotional responses. People are willing to physically defend private territory in ways they would never do with public territory. And people personalize private territory with various kinds of markers -- in their homes, for example, they hang paintings, alter the decor and carry out renovations.

"Territoriality is hard-wired into our ancestors from tens of thousands of years ago," said Paul Bell, a co-author of the study at Colorado State. "Animals are territorial because it had survival value. If you could keep others away from your hunting groups, you had more game to spear . . . it becomes part of the biology."

Drivers who individualize their cars using bumper stickers, window decals and personalized license plates, the researchers hypothesized, see their cars in the same way as they see their homes and bedrooms -- as deeply personal space, or primary territory.

Unlike any environment our evolutionary ancestors might have confronted, driving a car simultaneously places people in both private territory -- their cars -- and public territory -- the road. Drivers who personalize their cars with bumper stickers and other markers of private territory, the researchers argue, forget when they are on the road that they are in public territory because the immediate cues surrounding them tell them that they are in a deeply private space.

"If you are in a vehicle that you identify as a primary territory, you would defend that against other people whom you perceive as being disrespectful of your space," Bell added. "What you ignore is that you are on a public roadway -- you lose sight of the fact you are in a public area and you don't own the road."

Szlemko said that, in an as-yet-unpublished experiment, he conducted tests of road rage in actual traffic. He had one researcher sit in a car in a left-turn lane. When the light turned green, the researcher simply stayed still, blocking the car behind.

Another researcher, meanwhile, examined whether the blocked car had bumper stickers and other markers of territoriality. The experimental question was how long it would take for the driver of the blocked car to honk in frustration.

Szlemko said that drivers of cars with decals, bumper stickers and personalized license plates honked at the offending vehicle nearly two full seconds faster than drivers of cars without any territorial markers.

Ironically, William Szlemlo was struck by lightning and killed July 24.  He and a friend were practicing martial arts near CSU when a bolt of lightning struck and killed both of them.  He had just passed his oral defense for his Ph.D. and was just about to turn in his doctoral dissertation, which was based on this research, to the CSU graduate school.

What do your bumper stickers say? (just curious)

"Equal rights are not special rights"
"Evolution is a theory, kind of like gravity!"
"I'm straight, but not narrow"
"My country invaded Iraq and all I got was this expensive gas"
"After we're done spreading democracy in Iraq, can we have a little over here?"
"He's your god, they're your rules, YOU burn in hell"
"FUCK BUSH"
"Wicked cool bumpah stickah" from Boston
"Support the Earth! 01.20.09 Bush's last day!" -And it cannot come soon enough!
"Have you forgotten jesus? Isn't about time you did?"
"Republicans are people too...mean, greedy, selfish people!"
"ASPIE" with a yellow smilie that has a straight smile.
"THINK: It's not illegal yet"
"I don't brake for Yankees fans"
"Obama/Biden '08" from moveon.org
"ear-X-tacy louisville, kentucky" from the best record store in the world. At least of the ones I have been to.
"Dropkick Murphys" logo
17the Street Surf Shop logo with one of the kids from the 1980s shirts...the one who has his black & white slip-on Vans and sunglasses and is picking his nose.
Wave Riding Vehicles logo with the five dolphins forming 3/4 of a circle as if they are shaped like a wave.
"Yankees Suck!" -Around here people think I hate people from the Northeast, but they are soooo stupid they cannot connect the dots and see that I have Boston Red Sox stickers all over my car.
"What we really need is a moment of SCIENCE in the public schools"
A Peace symbol and a Yin & Yang symbol
"Someone else for president!" Hopefully I can take that one off soon!!!
"Think Globally - Act Locally"
"M.K. Gandhi An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind"
"Homophobia is a social disease"
"Those who ignore nature are condemned to deplete it!"
"Love your Mother" with a picture above the North Pole of the Earth
"The Earth does not belong to us, we belong to the Earth" with a picture of an Indian
"Remember Mitch with love and laughter! www.mitchhedberg.com"
"Rice is great when I'm hungry and want 1,000 of something! www.mitchhedberg.com"
"Humans aren't the only species on Earth. We just act like it."
"Those who vote decide NOTHING. Those who count the votes decide EVERYTHING! -Joseph Stalin"
"He's NOT MY president!"
"Come the rapture, can I have your car?"
"Come the rapture, we'll have the Earth to ourselves"
"The road to hell is paved with Republicans"
"You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedoms it gives its assimilated conformists -Abbie Hoffman"
"My other vehicle is the Millennium Falcon"
"I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore!" with a Darwin Amphibian
"Plants & Animals disappear to make room for your FAT ASS"
"Last time we mixed politics and religion, people got burned at the stake"
"Friends don't let friends vote Republican"
"Democrats think the glass is half full. Republicans think the glass is theirs."
"Endthisless war" from moveon.org

There is also a picture of a man and a woman holding up bibles with a circle and line over them, as in "No Preaching!"

Plus I have an assortment of Darwin Amphibians. One that has various tools for hands and says "EVOLVE!" Another one is eating a jesusfish and says "Reality Bites!" The third one is doing a jesusfish doggie style and says "EVOLUTION!" There is also a Tyrannosaurus Rex eating a jesusfish.

My schools are represented:

"UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI"
"UNIVERSITY OF LOUISVILLE"
"UNIVERSITY OF VIRGINIA"

I have Strong Bad and The Cheat stickers from www.homestarrunner.com.

A large Boston Red Sox logo with two smaller ones that also say "2004 World Series Champions!" Also there is a shamrock with the Red Sox logo in the middle.

A 2001 Hurricane Club member sticker with the green and orange U logo from the University of Miami.

A large New England Patriots helmet.

A 7M3 logo, from a band I am friends with called Seven Mary Three. I also have this logo as a tattoo on my right arm.

M-LAB logo for my brother-in-law's band in New York.

SAMPLES Colorado license plate sticker for the band The Samples whom I know and have done a bunch of video and other promotional stuff for.

A Nerf Herder sticker for the band Nerf Herder.

[Lucifer]

i was thinking the same thing! 

either that or a supertanker.   :lol:

How about a tank? With some of those stickers, she needs all the protection that she can get!

she?   

[Trigger 11]

What do you drive, an 18-wheeler?

Two cars, actually, both of which are Pontiac Sunfires. I have stickers all over the bumpers, back windshields, and rear side windows. Some of the stickers are small and the regular sized ones are all arranged symmetrically to maximize space and because I need symmetry in patterns, which is why I always struggled in my Architectural Design class in Architecture School. I put most of the political and ideological ones on after the 2006 mid-term election, when my state voted 57% to ban the rights of all unions that are not a man and a woman legally married. This eliminates same-sex marriages/unions as well as "common law" partners from having any legal rights. I campaigned hard against this bill and its bigotry. Anyway, I was pissed so I went to darwinfish.com and had a little shopping spree.

[Lucifer]

i've only ever put one sticker on my bumper (although i've had several).  it said:

"my other car is a broom."

[Pyraxis]

I've never had a car long enough to put bumper stickers on it, but if I did, I would want those darwin fish. 

[Tesla]

I hate bumper stickers.  I don't want people making assumptions about me.

[Pyraxis]

Some people make assumptions just from the model and make of car that you drive. I don't get it, but apparently it's a big deal.

[Tesla]

Some people make assumptions just from the model and make of car that you drive. I don't get it, but apparently it's a big deal.

I think about that as well.  I'm just glad I didn't buy an SUV because I'd feel guilty driving it.