Question renaeden

[SovaNu]

doctors often leave things out that they should say.

[Sophgay]

the best thing about getting a diagnosis, for me, (apart from any meds i might get for it), is being able to find out as much as possible about it, so i understand myself better. they should explain it properly to you, if they expect you to be able to get better. at least you have the internet though. researching it yourself is probably better than having a doctor quickly explain it anyway, although they should still tell you

[renaeden]

I agree with all of you. When I go back to the doctor I will ask for information.

I had a really bad day yesterday, my hand/wrist hurts a lot, old arthritis flaring up again and using the computer makes it worse. I am down about that because using the computer is an outlet and it is something for me to do. I wonder how I am meant to work when I get in pain like this sometimes. GA has found a job he really enjoys, I wish I could find a job that I enjoy like that but I get offered jobs I don't want at places where I will have to do physical work and just damage myself more. Then I feel awful for refusing the jobs because people went to the trouble of finding those jobs for me and they are annoyed with me now.

I see things work out for other people and they don't even try and they don't for me no matter how hard I have tried. I am in pain and I have no job that I want to do. Eh, I just feel sad now.

[Sophgay]

I hope you find a cool job you'll like soon
I am meant to get arthritis or soemthing when i'm older

[renaeden]

Thanks
I wonder how you know you will get arthritis? I have osteoarthritis in my back and my knees. The sort of arthritis I have now is the inflammatory sort.

I have also been having sciatic pain which sucks. Seems my right side doesn't want to cooperate with me

[Tristeza]

Hey, Ren! 

Thanks for your nice comments on my pics.  You are sweet!   

How have you been feeling lately?  I haven't seen you online much, and I was wondering how your meds were doing.  Hope you are well.   

[renaeden]

^You are right, I have not been online much. I have been trying to let my arm/hand get better but it hasn't really. I think there is something wrong with the nerves near my elbow. I will ask the doctor about it when I go next week for a review of my medication.

I tried to get my Dexamphetamine 'script filled and the chemist told me that it had to be handwritten instead of typed. So I had to make a trip to the doctors' and get a doctor (anyone there)to write it out. Lucky the doctor I see regularly was there and wrote the 'script out "properly" for the chemist. Also had trouble getting my free medication. But I have it now.

GA tells me he has noticed that I have been a bit more cheerful but I haven't noticed, heh.
I went and saw my psychologist (autism related) with GA and found out that I can work on my conversational skills if I want to.
So instead of:

Other person: Hi how was your weekend?

Me: ok.

*Conversation ends there.

It could be:

Other person: Hi how was your weekend?

Me: ok, I did (insert activity here). How was your weekend?

Other person: (tells me what they did)

Me: (comments on what the other person did in a pleasant manner and might ask another question).

*Conversation may continue...
I think this is quite funny but also realise why people may think I am rude. And I know I cannot do this conversation style all the time as talking tires me physically and mentally (still to figure out why this happens), though I can at least try it out.

I haven't done much else. Been grocery shopping and watching Star Trek DS9 (watching the series in order).
Thank you for caring and asking about me.

* renaeden feels warm and fuzzy

[Sophgay]

i have the exact same problem
it tires me too, physically and mentally. so it's really bad when i used to try and go out with people and socialise and stuff- i'd come back with a headache and get a migraine and stuff.
i wonder why it makes us physically tired. conversations are so hard.
the things i've used to get me through them as i was growing up aren't very good either i don't think - they make me look more self-centred, which i've only just realised now. because i found that, if someone says about what they did at the weekend or something they like, the best thing to do is for me to think of some way i am connected to the same thing, like if i've been there before or had a similar experience, and tell them about that. because that's the only way i know of to keep the conversation going. but i've only realised over the last few months, that that makes it look like i'm not interested in them, and only interested in myself. i do it online as well, even though i'm better at communicating online. hell i am even doing it now

conversations are so hard though. i think that's why a lot of us like these sites and stuff. you have time to think before you respond. whereas IRL, you don't... you just have to do it on the spot. i always end up looknig like an idiot or not thinking of something fast enough... so it's really awkward.

[Tristeza]

Yeah, I go through the same problems with the "give and take" part of conversing.  I've found that as I get older I'm worrying less and less about looking like an a-hole over it, though.  Lots of people do the same thing in conversations, either out of nervousness, egotism, of whatever.  Just about everyone is afraid of looking like a fuck-up to others - we're not alone in that regard. 

Glad you're feeling better, Ren.   

[renaeden]

if someone says about what they did at the weekend or something they like, the best thing to do is for me to think of some way i am connected to the same thing, like if i've been there before or had a similar experience, and tell them about that. because that's the only way i know of to keep the conversation going. but i've only realised over the last few months, that that makes it look like i'm not interested in them, and only interested in myself.

I actually view this as the person being generous when they do this. They are sharing a part of their lives to connect with you. So I see nothing wrong with this conversation style.

Most times I will give myself a break and if someone doesn't like the way I converse, well tough shit to them!

[Sophgay]

yeah i am sick of trying really hard to make a conversation work well for the other person, when they don't even need to try, and then they aren't satisfied with it anyway. i don't think people realise how much effort it can take when you're not naturally good at conversations lol

[GalileoAce]

It'd be interesting to ask some non-Auties how they feel about conversation, and if it takes them any effort to converse with someone.

[Tristeza]

It's horrible for my husband, and he's not on the autistic spectrum.  Very shy though, so he goes through much more discomfort that I do socially.  I learned a long time ago to not care too much what people think, but because he can say and do the right things socially, he feels like he has to.  I'd rather be in my shoes than his, in that respect.  I think lots of shy people are that way.

[odeon]

That's just weird. Surely he doesn't HAVE TO say or do the right things?

[ozymandias]

That's just weird. Surely he doesn't HAVE TO say or do the right things?

In society in general, even an NT has to watch what they say or do.  To be honest, people  are dumb fuck animals out to screw anybody and everybody as fast as they can as soon as they can and any which way they can. 

People are stupid in general, especially in herds.