I've been doing fairly sloppy poos as of late, so cleaning up afterwards is fairly straightforward. Also have been quite gassy as of late, doing really loud and forceful farts all the time. My bad diet isn't helping here.
Me and Emma were cuddling in bed recently, felt a pain in my stomach and I had to let one rip. Sounded like a chainsaw in thick porridge, bellowing through a sewage drain pipe. Horrific smell too, absolutely chemical - enough to make Lestat proud, as there was probably a couple of brand new gases in there that were never discovered before and need to be put on the periodic table.
She kicked me out of the room, but all is fine now.
