So, what are you ignoring, right now?

[Alex179]

You are really young Soph.   Plenty of time to change almost everything.   Change is scary as hell though lol.

[Persona]

i am not special and i have no particularly great abilities or talents - if i'm going to get through things and stop being weak, i need to accept that. i see so many people thinking they're going to do something great with their lives, and actually be something. but the reality is, 99.9% of people won't.

That's what I always thought.

You do have talents though, you know loads about history and are good at drawing.  That counts for something.

[Sophgay]

i don't feel young anymore though
i know i've said this before, and was half-joking at the time
but it's true
my brrothers are young
i can see them learning things every day, and they can still grow up and turn into decent people and live successful lives. they are still becoming whoever they're going to be. i'm an adult now and i'm already there. i've gone through all that and this is what i've turned into.

[Persona]

20 is still young.

You are on your way to getting a degree.  You have your whole life ahead of you.

Look at me.  I keep starting new schools and am going to be 19 this year and I haven't even got my A Levels.

[Sophgay]

i'm not even in uni right now
i couldn't even handle 3hours of lectures a few days a week last year
i gave up after 2 months
that doesn't show much strength in me

[Alex179]

What else can you turn into?

It is obvious that you have talents.   You should take advantage of what you do well and put it to use for you.

You will have a 4 year degree before me most likely.   I am 29 years old lol.

[Sophgay]

are you doing a degree now?

history is really the only thing i'm any good at
writing essays
i know my writing on here sucks though

other than that, i have nothing that im anything more than average at
i cant even look after myself properly or talk to people properly
i cant help the people i want to help more than anything, an i hurt the people who love me
if i cant even look after myself, how could i have ever looked after someone else? paid bills or rent and made sure we had food every night

[Persona]

You are going back in September though.

Don't forget you're really good at drawing

You won't be by yourself though, you have your family for now and later on you don't have to pile on all the responsibility on yourself.  Let her also take care of you.

[Sophgay]

im not good at drawing. i can draw random cartoons and average stuff, but i dont have a talent or anything. maybe i did when i was younger , but not anymore.
my mum ttakes care of me now, but i will have to take care of myself one day, and probably wont be able to

[Persona]

Being able to draw cartoons is a talent.  You can transfer the images from your head to paper.  I can't do that.

If you assume from the beginning, that you won't be able to take care of yourself then that will probably happen.  Have some faith in yourself.  You still have ages to decide what you want to do with your life.

[Sophgay]

i don't have that long now
i'll be in my 20s soon
thats when im meant to have worked it out and start doing it
so then when im 30 i can make it be ok and it will go away
realistically, i am a third of the way through my life (at least) and am at the same stage as most people are at when they're at about 1/5 of their life

[Alex179]

im not good at drawing. i can draw random cartoons and average stuff, but i dont have a talent or anything. maybe i did when i was younger , but not anymore.
my mum ttakes care of me now, but i will have to take care of myself one day, and probably wont be able to

You will be able to take care of yourself.   Stop negatively projecting what you can and can't do into the future.    You can learn things still, including coping methods that will enable yourself to take care of yourself.

[Sophgay]

maybe
i guess i only have myself to worry about there now

[Persona]

Well, let's say that you will live to be 80, you have at least 60 years to work it out   You will probably live even longer than that

Many people don't know where their life is heading when they are in their 30s or even 40s.  Just because society tells us to have it all sorted by the time we finish uni, doesn't mean we have to.  You are on the right track though.  You didn't miss a single day in your first year, that shows that you are strong and have motivation. 

[DirtDawg]

And if they're not a jerkoff, and you have no ill will?

... in the case of Soph, for instance?

It was a generalized bitch... I can think of at least three people it's immediately applicable to. It's something I've run into a lot.

Needing a friend probably covers it though. I just struggle when I am said friend, and honestly want to help, but can't say either "yeah, I know what you mean" or "here's what you could do to fix it." But I'm also susceptible to taking it hard when a person says "you're too happy (or too successful, or too competent, or too young, or too alive) to get it." I always feel guilty for walking away - if I'm so successful or whatever, there ought to be something else I could do.

Didn't see this on the first go'round. That's why your next post baffled me, somewhat. 

... but you're right. I always feel inadequate when I am that savior/friend. I always feel that I could do more, but we can't. All we can ever do is show someone the stones.We can not keep them from slipping, even when we help them up several times and show them the next and the next.

We must keep trying though, even if all we can offer is good footing and a strong back.