Make fun of gophers thread

[Gopher Gary]

That's probably because I turn the hose on my dog (Old Gopher Breath) when he craps in my yard. Seems that the only thing more stinky than a gopher is a gopher that has been through a dog's digestive system.

See. Worst neighbor ever. Letting your dog run around untethered and crapping in other people's yards.    You're less classy and civilized than a gopher. 

[Genesis]

Gophers can be adorable... yes that is an honest fact, yet the worst thing about them is the ideas they come out with for Ivanka Trump's outfits she wears in public.

[Minister Of Silly Walks]

You make out like you don't like my dog crapping in your backyard. But I know for a fact that you collect them and shape them into little Christmas trees with your tiny fingers then you hang them from the ceiling as air fresheners.

[Genesis]

Gophers make wonderful minions though... unless you're a toddler with dictator tendencies.

[Gopher Gary]

You make out like you don't like my dog crapping in your backyard. But I know for a fact that you collect them and shape them into little Christmas trees with your tiny fingers then you hang them from the ceiling as air fresheners.

How many times do I have to tell you to stop peeping in my windows, you weirdo?  It's called art and I sell them on Etsy. The Norwegians love them and I'm a bit famous over there.  I also mold it into earplugs to stifle the sickening sounds of your Ono collection, and the grueling hours you spend running your edger. I have no clue why you grind it against the sidewalk that way, it can't be good for the concrete or the edger. The sound makes my teeth hurt. I can't figure out if you're trying to eradicate the sidewalk or maybe dig a ditch. 

[Gopher Gary]

Gophers make wonderful minions though... unless you're a toddler with dictator tendencies.

I get my bitches to do all of Genesis' dastardly deeds. 

[Minister Of Silly Walks]

You should spend less time complaining about me peeking in your window and more time trying to get a job.

You so poor, ducks throw bread at you.

And short. When you went to see Santa at the shopping mall, he said "get back to work!".

[Walkie]

[Genesis]

Gophers make wonderful minions though... unless you're a toddler with dictator tendencies.

I get my bitches to do all of Genesis' dastardly deeds. 

[Minister Of Silly Walks]

Gary Gopher is so hairy, bigfoot takes blurry photos of him.

Gary Gopher is so hairy, he went to a fancy dress party as a nudist and everyone said "hey Gary, great werewolf costume".

Gary Gopher's armpits are so hairy, he looks like he has Don King in a headlock.

[Gopher Gary]

You don't understand hibernation. Hibernators pay big bucks for that look.  You should try hibernation, and give the rest of the world some peace from all your racket. 

[Minister Of Silly Walks]