The Unnecessary Casanova Complex

[Minister Of Silly Walks]

Gen, when I was your age there were only two types of girls.

One was the girls who I found some sort of dealbreaker-type flaw with.

The other was the girls who I couldn't imagine ever being interested in me.

Are you doing this to yourself? Are relationships and intimacy a little scary to you and you are creating a world-view that precludes any chance of you getting intimate or getting into a relationship?

I like SG's suggestion. Forget the relationship question altogether, shift your focus to being the best friend you can be. Look for male and female friends. Your female friends then have the possibility of turning into something more.

Stop beating yourself up over all this stuff. Life is too short. And the whole relationship and intimacy thing is a lot simpler than what your anxieties are telling you.

[Genesis]

Gen, when I was your age there were only two types of girls.

One was the girls who I found some sort of dealbreaker-type flaw with.

The other was the girls who I couldn't imagine ever being interested in me.

Are you doing this to yourself? Are relationships and intimacy a little scary to you and you are creating a world-view that precludes any chance of you getting intimate or getting into a relationship?

I like SG's suggestion. Forget the relationship question altogether, shift your focus to being the best friend you can be. Look for male and female friends. Your female friends then have the possibility of turning into something more.

Stop beating yourself up over all this stuff. Life is too short. And the whole relationship and intimacy thing is a lot simpler than what your anxieties are telling you.

Relationships are scary because of the impression my family has with certain people. My parents are religious in a way, and the morals and other stuff (aka the religious guilt) are what shapes my expectations... The expectations of having someone make a good impression on my family (mainly my mother, and my sister) so they don't get scared about people taking advantage of me emotionally. I had that happen before with this one girl (my first fling), and it was emotionally exhausting. The second girl is an on/off girlfriend I have who is from a different culture than my family unit.

My family unit consists of stuff being a little weird to some people... especially since Dad's side has different denominations (as well as Catholics) on his side, and Mom was apart of a Mennonite Order when she was growing up.

My parents want what is best... and they don't want me getting stuck into something that isn't "right in their eyes".

I believe in God like most people... it's just the whole shift with the Politics in my parent's church is disgusting to me... too many people supporting a bigot, and dumbshit who had a fluke becoming president. A wolf in sheep's clothing, and they're just too blind and "ignorant" to see it.

So yes... religion has to do with my "eh", but it's the tenants that I'm annoyed at... especially when it comes to wanting to understand the Opposite Sex, and why I feel like they avoid and/or reject me alot.

[Tequila]

If you didn't spend all your time masturbating and developed a modicum amount of social skills, you would have sex. Fuck relationships, just keep it casual. Your parents want to keep you from having it.

[Tequila]

Gen, when I was your age there were only two types of girls.

One was the girls who I found some sort of dealbreaker-type flaw with.

The other was the girls who I couldn't imagine ever being interested in me.

Are you doing this to yourself? Are relationships and intimacy a little scary to you and you are creating a world-view that precludes any chance of you getting intimate or getting into a relationship?

I like SG's suggestion. Forget the relationship question altogether, shift your focus to being the best friend you can be. Look for male and female friends. Your female friends then have the possibility of turning into something more.

Stop beating yourself up over all this stuff. Life is too short. And the whole relationship and intimacy thing is a lot simpler than what your anxieties are telling you.

I will have amazing sex. You will have sex if you stop worrying.

[Tequila]

Investing in friendships is the better path, I've discovered. Mainly because I'm prone to making bad relationship choices without first knowing a person. That said, I am single and have been for a few years. I have accepted my life as being single and have adjusted to that reality, so now I have much more fun making friendships instead. I have accepted that I might be single well into my 50s, and even perhaps for my whole life. I haven't had as many attacks of loneliness as I used to when I was younger and wishing for a girlfriend to hold.

I just don't want to be involved with a breeder though... especially the SPED variety!

"Breeder" is what intolerant gay people say to mock straight people. Why would you say it?

[Tequila]

Even just talking to people and learning to be a good listener is a step in the right direction.

Problem is he'll end up with someone who is a sounding board for their problems.

[Tequila]

As a teenager, I never understood dating well enough, to begin with... I had a couple of girlfriends (one who was a complete sociopathic slut, the other a girl I've been lifelong friends with

Unless you're actually having sex with the woman, don't be friends with her.

[Jack]

Investing in friendships is the better path, I've discovered. Mainly because I'm prone to making bad relationship choices without first knowing a person. That said, I am single and have been for a few years. I have accepted my life as being single and have adjusted to that reality, so now I have much more fun making friendships instead. I have accepted that I might be single well into my 50s, and even perhaps for my whole life. I haven't had as many attacks of loneliness as I used to when I was younger and wishing for a girlfriend to hold.

I just don't want to be involved with a breeder though... especially the SPED variety!

"Breeder" is what intolerant gay people say to mock straight people. Why would you say it?

He may have said it because I said it first. Didn't realize that. Though now that you mention it, it seems I may have heard that before and since forgot about it. Babymomma better?

[Genesis]

My mistake 

I guess there is some stuff I should just keep hush-hush from them.

[Genesis]

Investing in friendships is the better path, I've discovered. Mainly because I'm prone to making bad relationship choices without first knowing a person. That said, I am single and have been for a few years. I have accepted my life as being single and have adjusted to that reality, so now I have much more fun making friendships instead. I have accepted that I might be single well into my 50s, and even perhaps for my whole life. I haven't had as many attacks of loneliness as I used to when I was younger and wishing for a girlfriend to hold.

I just don't want to be involved with a breeder though... especially the SPED variety!

"Breeder" is what intolerant gay people say to mock straight people. Why would you say it?

I didn't know what else to use! What else is there to use??? Baby Mama? Questionable person?

What should I say instead oh almighty voice of fate? Literally... what the hell am I supposed to say?

[Genesis]

I hate that all this shit that was drilled into my head is holding me back. All this feeling "guilty" all the time on things is just driving me nuts!!! Especially when it's my feelings and frustration.

I just want to be happy, and all I am doing is feeling "guilty" way too much... My sponsor at work is right... I just need to stop the overthinking on my tasks at work... my friends say I need to do the same with relationships, and other things involving people as well.

[Genesis]

Also, the voice of fate was an Alan Moore reference.

[Gopher Gary]

If you didn't spend all your time masturbating and developed a modicum amount of social skills, you would have sex. Fuck relationships, just keep it casual. Your parents want to keep you from having it.

The masturbating man is a beautiful thing and I won't stand for anyone criticizing it. 

[Genesis]

If you didn't spend all your time masturbating and developed a modicum amount of social skills, you would have sex. Fuck relationships, just keep it casual. Your parents want to keep you from having it.

Oh god... you're using the science of deduction method on me. Fucking hell -_-

[Tequila]

]I didn't know what else to use! What else is there to use??? Baby Mama? Questionable person?

What should I say instead oh almighty voice of fate? Literally... what the hell am I supposed to say?

We have the same phenomenon in Britain too, of kids being from different fathers to their mum. Just say that. It is irresponsible behaviour and I agree with you, but there's probably a lot wrong with you.


Can you afford to support yourself? Are people bullying you?