Educational

Author Topic: The Doorbell Licker  (Read 810 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Icequeen

  • News Box Slave
  • Insane Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 12031
  • Karma: 2032
  • Gender: Female
  • I peopled today.
The Doorbell Licker
« on: January 14, 2019, 08:40:31 AM »
"The Man Caught Licking Someone's Doorbell For 3 Hours Has Been Identified"

Quote
Salinas Police Department has identified suspect Roberto Daniel Arroyo after he was caught licking a seemingly random home's doorbell "over and over for three hours" around 5:00 a.m. one morning.

https://www.housebeautiful.com/lifestyle/a25835731/doorbell-licker-caught-on-home-security-camera/

 

Over 3 hours.   :zoinks:

Offline odeon

  • Witchlet of the Aspie Elite
  • Webmaster
  • Postwhore Beyond Repair
  • *****
  • Posts: 109003
  • Karma: 4487
  • Gender: Male
  • Replacement Despot
Re: The Doorbell Licker
« Reply #1 on: January 14, 2019, 11:41:53 AM »
That's, um, fairly odd.

Now wondering if there's any way to quickly cool a doorbell when the security camera spots, um, the licker.
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline rock hound

  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 6449
  • Karma: 377
  • Gender: Male
  • The Lurker at the Threshold.
Re: The Doorbell Licker
« Reply #2 on: January 14, 2019, 01:07:25 PM »
There must be some salt on it and he has a need for salt!   :apondering:

 :laugh:
"Some books are to be tasted.  Others to be swallowed.  And some few to be chewed and digested."  --Sir Francis Bacon

"Civilization exists by geologic consent.  Subject to change without notice."  --Will Durant

Offline Lestat

  • Pharmaceutical dustbin of the autie elite
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 8965
  • Karma: 451
  • Gender: Male
  • Homo stercore veteris, heterodiem
Re: The Doorbell Licker
« Reply #3 on: January 14, 2019, 01:51:09 PM »
Thats weird, I read about this only earlier this morning. Well, weird, full stop, but thats a coincidence alright, I was going to post this myself, just got sidetracked by things like the need to buy one's daily bread, so to speak, as well as pick up med refills, take several different meds, get put to sleep deeply and for a long time by three or four of them.

I'd have had some fun with that, if I caught some weirdo licking my doorbell.

I'd cover it with superglue night after night.

Or with something like a powerfully delierent, although non-fatal dose of antimuscarinic nightshade alkaloids, atropine or scopolamine, something like that, or agent BZ, something that would send someone into a batshit-mental delirious nightmare world, mixed in with say, a fair sized dose of one of the more potent PCP analogs, dissolved in dimethylsulfoxide (a polar aprotic solvent, non-toxic, but with the unusual property of carrying whatever might be dissolved in it, through the skin on contact)

That would teach the weird little fucker not to go sucking my doorbell.  Didn't he also piss all over the doorbell-lickee's lawn, too? I would definitely have some fun with that guy if it had been me been targeted, calling the filth wouldn't be nearly as hilarious as turning him into a psychotically delirious, amnesiac terrorized train wreck for the next 48 hours or thereabouts. And probably get him arrested, after he's been seen smoking imaginary cigarettes whilst arse naked, masturbating in the middle of the road and screaming about giant spiders. Oh yes, I'd have a lot of fun with a pervert like that.
Beyond the pale. Way, way beyond the pale.

Requiescat in pacem, Wolfish, beloved of Pyraxis.

Offline Phoenix

  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 6161
  • Karma: 413
  • Gender: Female
Re: The Doorbell Licker
« Reply #4 on: January 14, 2019, 09:38:12 PM »
He licked it for 3 hours and he still couldn't make it ring?
“To rise, first you must burn.”
― Hiba Fatima Ahmad

Offline rock hound

  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 6449
  • Karma: 377
  • Gender: Male
  • The Lurker at the Threshold.
Re: The Doorbell Licker
« Reply #5 on: January 14, 2019, 09:47:57 PM »
He licked it for 3 hours and he still couldn't make it ring?

Some men just fail at pseudo cunnilingus.  Or maybe he was practicing.....yeah, I have a dirty mind!   ;)
"Some books are to be tasted.  Others to be swallowed.  And some few to be chewed and digested."  --Sir Francis Bacon

"Civilization exists by geologic consent.  Subject to change without notice."  --Will Durant

Offline renaeden

  • Complicated Case of the Aspie Elite
  • Caretaker Admin
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 26268
  • Karma: 2538
  • Gender: Female
Re: The Doorbell Licker
« Reply #6 on: January 14, 2019, 10:32:06 PM »
I'm glad I don't have a doorbell!
Mildly Cute in a Retarded Way
Tek'ma'tae

Offline Icequeen

  • News Box Slave
  • Insane Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 12031
  • Karma: 2032
  • Gender: Female
  • I peopled today.
Re: The Doorbell Licker
« Reply #7 on: January 15, 2019, 07:23:18 AM »
Mine is metal and it's below freezing out there.  >:D


Offline Minister Of Silly Walks

  • Elder
  • Dedicated Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 4035
  • Karma: 421
Re: The Doorbell Licker
« Reply #8 on: January 15, 2019, 07:28:20 AM »
The last doorbell I licked tasted like KFC. They usually taste like salty plastic.
“When men oppress their fellow men, the oppressor ever finds, in the character of the oppressed, a full justification for his oppression.” Frederick Douglass

Offline Lestat

  • Pharmaceutical dustbin of the autie elite
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 8965
  • Karma: 451
  • Gender: Male
  • Homo stercore veteris, heterodiem
Re: The Doorbell Licker
« Reply #9 on: January 15, 2019, 09:20:51 AM »
And when I gathered the masses, the crowds, and tried to convince them of the world's vital need for exploding doorbells, they called me insane! said I was mad! that nobody could ever have use for a doorbell packed with lead azide and ball bearings. And lets see them pooh-pooh the brilliance of my electrifiable doorbells and door-knockers now!
Beyond the pale. Way, way beyond the pale.

Requiescat in pacem, Wolfish, beloved of Pyraxis.

Offline 'andersom'

  • Pure Chocolate Bovine PIMP of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 39199
  • Karma: 2556
  • Gender: Female
  • well known as hyke.
Re: The Doorbell Licker
« Reply #10 on: January 15, 2019, 09:32:34 AM »
He licked it for 3 hours and he still couldn't make it ring?

Some men just fail at pseudo cunnilingus.  Or maybe he was practicing.....yeah, I have a dirty mind!   ;)

Hoping to get caught on a surveillance camera, a free commercial when it goes viral, to show his dedication, technique and patience.
He doesn't give up quickly  :lol1:
I can do upside down chocolate moo things!

Offline Phoenix

  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 6161
  • Karma: 413
  • Gender: Female
Re: The Doorbell Licker
« Reply #11 on: January 15, 2019, 09:34:27 AM »
He licked it for 3 hours and he still couldn't make it ring?

Some men just fail at pseudo cunnilingus.  Or maybe he was practicing.....yeah, I have a dirty mind!   ;)

Hoping to get caught on a surveillance camera, a free commercial when it goes viral, to show his dedication, technique and patience.
He doesn't give up quickly  :lol1:
Somebody remove this chapter from the Aspie dating handbook please :laugh:
“To rise, first you must burn.”
― Hiba Fatima Ahmad

Offline 'andersom'

  • Pure Chocolate Bovine PIMP of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 39199
  • Karma: 2556
  • Gender: Female
  • well known as hyke.
Re: The Doorbell Licker
« Reply #12 on: January 15, 2019, 11:25:49 AM »
He licked it for 3 hours and he still couldn't make it ring?

Some men just fail at pseudo cunnilingus.  Or maybe he was practicing.....yeah, I have a dirty mind!   ;)

Hoping to get caught on a surveillance camera, a free commercial when it goes viral, to show his dedication, technique and patience.
He doesn't give up quickly  :lol1:
Somebody remove this chapter from the Aspie dating handbook please :laugh:

Now there's a thought.   :rofl:
I can do upside down chocolate moo things!

Offline Bastet

  • Psychotic Mentally Deficient Deranged Bitch
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 6007
  • Karma: 633
  • Gender: Female
  • MeOW!
Re: The Doorbell Licker
« Reply #13 on: January 15, 2019, 11:34:47 AM »
He looks like he may be on the spectrum. We Autists have some colorful fetishes.
:kitten: OBSESSIVE AILUROPHILE :kitten:


It is far better for people to hate you for doing the right thing than for people to love you for doing the wrong thing. Never ever forget that.

Offline Lestat

  • Pharmaceutical dustbin of the autie elite
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 8965
  • Karma: 451
  • Gender: Male
  • Homo stercore veteris, heterodiem
Re: The Doorbell Licker
« Reply #14 on: January 15, 2019, 12:28:36 PM »
That's true, but in this case....doorbell-licking and pissing in people's gardens? I'm inclined to think this guy is just a screwed up delinquent fuckwit with a bucket of rotting kitchen slops for a prefrontal cortex, not an autie/aspie. Just a fucked up freak.

Although weird fetishes, thats true enough. Although in my case, I'd say I'm pretty normal in that respect. Having a 'thing' for spesh girls, I wouldn't so much call that a fetish, more...knowing sexy when I see it :autism:

Although I have to admit, I do find the way spesh girls stim SOOOO hawt, rocking, flapping, spinning around, jumping up and down on the spot doing that hand-clapping thing and making those cute little noises autie girls sometimes make when they are stimming, that is pretty sexy, you have to admit, no?
Beyond the pale. Way, way beyond the pale.

Requiescat in pacem, Wolfish, beloved of Pyraxis.