Author Topic: No Spanking Laws  (Read 11972 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline bodie

  • Reflective Katoptronaphiliac of the Aspie Elite
  • News Box Slave
  • Maniacal Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 14394
  • Karma: 2113
  • Gender: Female
  • busy re arranging deck chairs on board the Titanic
Re: No Spanking Laws
« Reply #270 on: May 10, 2013, 03:58:38 AM »
Ah but the child would have to be able to understand the question?  Not easy for younger children.

I would have chosen to get a smack, all the time,  then i would have been rubbing my bottom on my play station that i was allowed to keep :zoinks:
blah blah blah

Offline Jack

  • Reiterative Utterance of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Maniacal Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 14550
  • Karma: 0
  • You don't know Jack.
Re: No Spanking Laws
« Reply #271 on: May 10, 2013, 04:46:26 AM »
Quote
You know I have possibly not used the exact methods you have either but I would not for a second jump in and say that the way you parent is used to hurt/humiliate/scar your child mentally for life. Why do you think that is?

Did  i imply this about you?  You say you have used smacking as a parenting method, but you seem to take offence at the words i use to describe it -  corporal punishment, spanking, smacking, hitting?  What word is it that describes what you mean?  I ask you if the reason behind hitting is to hurt because it's the only reason i know.  Show me where i implied you were using humiliation and scarring children mentally for life?  It was a  genuine question with no implications intended.

No worries,  i lose interest in discussions when people put words in my mouth.

Not that I have. Or did you misunderstand what I was saying?
Was not sure whether this was your way of asking whether I was saying that I accused you of saying "i implied you were using humiliation and scarring children mentally for life?" or were you accusing me of implying "you were using humiliation and scarring children mentally for life?"
If the latter, I wasn't. If the former, no.

What I am saying is that I do not seek to pass judgement on your parenting style nor question its appropriateness and assume your intentions are good and you have the best interests of your child. That you do the best you can.
Now I also say I do not know your specific parenting methods (apart from a reward system you implemented once that had at least some effect with him at school when he was having issues there). I am not overly interested but will happily join in support discussions around this and have in the past. I am a parent too, after all.
Now IF I knew your parenting styles I could presume any particular form of punishment or whatever as a reprehensible act and ascribe it rather weighted and mean-spirited and harmful intent and being devoid of having any interests for the child for the purposes of mentally scarring the child or hurting their feelings or humiliating them (I have posted on this very thread the different ways this can be done. Parenting action condemned and so on). I don't. It is not that I could not make a half baked claim to that end, that anything you do to parent your child may be unfairly questioned as wrong.

You could say "Well sure, but I do not make those judgement or presume bad intent to you and your intentions or interests of your child either"
Then without placing words into your mouth I will cut and paste a couple of examples where you have done this.

If you do want to take your leave of this thread, by all means but stating you are losing interest because I am placing words into your mouth is pretty weak I would have thought

Sorry i just don't have the patience to decipher your posts,  it is so time consuming to pick through the  ''what if's'' and  ''suppose i''  and ''you could say''   and actually work out your point.      If you can't talk straight without going round the wrekin then i would need a translator.

Did you really miss it? The point in this post seems to be that he's presented his presented his parental disciplinary style in this thread for discussion, and you haven't, but only argued against his.

Offline TA

  • Rage Filled Brain of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 1819
  • Karma: 111
  • Gender: Male
  • Face my Squirrely Wrath!
Re: No Spanking Laws
« Reply #272 on: May 10, 2013, 04:49:13 AM »
Ah but the child would have to be able to understand the question?  Not easy for younger children.

I would have chosen to get a smack, all the time,  then i would have been rubbing my bottom on my play station that i was allowed to keep :zoinks:

It would be difficult for a child 2-3 to understand, but a school age child (the age where spanking is frequently used)  at least 4-5 would likely understand the choice. The key would be to teach them about the general concept of choices as early as possible and even offer more choices as they got older.
The stupidity of humanity FILLS ME WITH RAGE!

Offline Jack

  • Reiterative Utterance of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Maniacal Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 14550
  • Karma: 0
  • You don't know Jack.
Re: No Spanking Laws
« Reply #273 on: May 10, 2013, 04:49:39 AM »
I have not been monitoring this heavily, but I will take a middle ground approach on the general subject, give the child a choice of punishment for a serious offense. They can either have a positive stimulus removed (loss of privileges, being sent to their room) or they can choose the aversive stimulus of a smacked bottom. Good, bad, what say you?

Loss of privileged can be tricky; disagree with taking away things from children that were given to them as gifts.

Offline Gopher Gary

  • sockpuppet alert!
  • Maniacal Postwhore
  • *
  • Posts: 12681
  • Karma: 652
  • I'm not wearing pants.
Re: No Spanking Laws
« Reply #274 on: May 10, 2013, 04:52:27 AM »
Ooooh suits you sir! All this talk of spanking makes me want to wank my cock.
:gopher:

Offline TA

  • Rage Filled Brain of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 1819
  • Karma: 111
  • Gender: Male
  • Face my Squirrely Wrath!
Re: No Spanking Laws
« Reply #275 on: May 10, 2013, 04:53:08 AM »
I have not been monitoring this heavily, but I will take a middle ground approach on the general subject, give the child a choice of punishment for a serious offense. They can either have a positive stimulus removed (loss of privileges, being sent to their room) or they can choose the aversive stimulus of a smacked bottom. Good, bad, what say you?

Loss of privileged can be tricky; disagree with taking away things from children that were given to them as gifts.

That was just an example of the removal of a positive stimulus, there are many other positive stimuli that can be removed.
The stupidity of humanity FILLS ME WITH RAGE!

Offline Gopher Gary

  • sockpuppet alert!
  • Maniacal Postwhore
  • *
  • Posts: 12681
  • Karma: 652
  • I'm not wearing pants.
Re: No Spanking Laws
« Reply #276 on: May 10, 2013, 05:36:03 AM »
I have not been monitoring this heavily, but I will take a middle ground approach on the general subject, give the child a choice of punishment for a serious offense. They can either have a positive stimulus removed (loss of privileges, being sent to their room) or they can choose the aversive stimulus of a smacked bottom. Good, bad, what say you?

Loss of privileged can be tricky; disagree with taking away things from children that were given to them as gifts.

That was just an example of the removal of a positive stimulus, there are many other positive stimuli that can be removed.

Is my cock positive stimulus?
:gopher:

Offline Al Swearegen

  • Pussycat of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 18721
  • Karma: 2240
  • Always front on and in your face
Re: No Spanking Laws
« Reply #277 on: May 10, 2013, 05:54:59 AM »
It is, of course, possible to prove pretty much anything using statistics, but I doubt this is one of those cases. Here's the basic A/B comparison:

Smacking/spanking/etc allowed: crime rates/etc value at year XXXX is "X"
Smacking/spanking/etc banned: crime rates/etc value at year YYYY is "Y"

The years and their respective values are not numbers in any way controlled by the lawmakers. They are yearly statistics. They are also numbers that can be obtained in similar manner from other countries, as reported by the other country.

Now, if Y<X, I'm sure you agree that in principle it means the new legislation works. Note that since they avoid the issue of defining "smacking" as opposed to "hitting" by making them equal for the purposes of the new law, any smacking/spanking/etc is a crime and thus means every reported instance after the legislation was passed affects Y.

Of course, there is any number of other reasons for crime rates fluctuating so getting relevant numbers is hard.  What causes what? Does one change correlate to the new figure or not?

So the easiest solution is to interpret the numbers using the same methods for both X and Y. With everything else being equal, the easiest explanation (attributing the smallest change) is likely (or at least possible) to be true.

It's not perfect but it's what we have.

What's the alternative? Well, you could say that "no, I don't believe 'smacking' is harmful to my child" and be right, but in a situation where the laws also are permissive enough to allow the person who *hits* his child or smacks it with intent to harm to go unpunished, the statistics will be skewed, but for you it will be in the wrong direction for what you were trying to prove.

So your burden of proof is actually much harder than mine. For my study, I have been able to say "ban it all" and watch what happens, but you have to a) define "smacking" as opposed to "hitting", b) provide the statistics that support you definitions, and c) interpret them in such a way that a comparison between them and my study is possible and relevant.

See the difference? If I choose to ban every form of smacking, regardless of definition, my work is easier, with everything else being equal, and I actually don't have to work the numbers as hard.

If we assume that both parties might work the numbers in their favour but the basic data is freely available, it should be easy to make a feasibility study.

What does this mean? Well, only that I do have the numbers and an accompanying study, but you don't. If you mean to prove me wrong, you'll be busy for quite some time.

Further than that, I think  Odeon.

If I was to say that one child was beaten by both parents daily and over nothing, with randomness and ferocity. When they were "smacked" It was with extension cords and until they bled. Then I was to say that child number two was smacked on the bottom by an open hand not hard enough to mark them and only when they were naughty, and was stopped when they reached an age that they could be reasoned with. I think in this instance you are not talking about two children who were parented the same. I think that you could possibly see one becoming badly adjusted and dysfunctional whereas the other possibly would not be at the same risk.

But here is the kicker. If someone defines smacking to make both child one and two part of the same study group then any statistic reliant on the results will tar child two's upbringing with the upbringing of child one and likewise child two's behaviour will be tarred with that of child one. Sure I have no doubt that some of the kids like child two will be tearaways. But I would say that some kids who were not smacked will be affected.

But we can go further, I would assume that if the laws were passed preventing smacking that the culture around this had changed too. I still remember when breathalisers were introduced in Western Australia. It changed the drinking culture. People suddenly were aware that drinking a six pack at a friends and whilst watching the footy was needing to change. The really excessive drink drivers stopped risking it, because their time was up (mostly - exclusions to the general rule and all that not withstanding) . It did ask people to be mindful of what they drank before driving. Where they were excessive they got punished. A glass or two was no bother.
This may be similar to the change of culture just prior to the no spanking laws. When the culture or community was suddenly mindful of a problem. The types of parents who were like child number one's started becoming a rarity because they felt a lot more eyes on them. So the ones who remained where the ones not prepared to change.

Further still, if the community driving these changes (not making moral judgements to merits) were wanting to make the best cases then are they likely to water down the study groups by removing the parents like those of child number two away from the parents of child one or make them equally culpable? Are they going to consider child one and two's upbringing and criminal records the same? Sure it is easier.

Not fair. but easier.

Yes were I to I could, given time and research and enough drive find ways to qualify and quantify this to change results I think do not give decent figures as their definitions are too broad and their results too willing therefore to be interpreted too generally.
I could even perhaps suggest forms of non-smacking parenting approaches that are flawed and make a case for what they may prove. Being clever and with creative definitions, I am sure I could run down most non-smacking parenting available to parents. Would be completely unhelpful aside from a way to give parents an unfair needling.

But I am not so inclined. I can agree to disagree. I do not think that parents who are bad parents should be rewarded or let off from punishment. Do not know any adult who was bought up in abusive households living with fear, angst, pain and dread, that would be well disposed to their parents. I do know a lot of adults who say things like "I got an occasional smack on the bottom for being a little shit. but Mum and Dad were pretty cool" but I have yet to hear anyone say "When I was a little kid, I used to be bone tired when Dad finally pull up in the drive way. Late. He would make a racket coming in. He knew he was in trouble  with Mum. I would shake because it was the moments of reprieve before the fights. I could not cry because I was about to go out and face him and stop him getting angry with Mum, because she was little, almost as short as me. When he was out I was the man of the home and protect her from noises outside. I had to protect her now because she was upset and scared. I was frightened. I came to love them both." Will not hear it from me, either

I think it is a little off collating them all together and I could define them differently 10 ways but it will not matter if they are included together for the definitions stipulated in the studies.
I2 today is not i2 of yesteryear. It is a knitting circle. Those that participate be they nice or asshats know their place and the price to be there. Odeon is the overlord

.Benevolent if you toe the line.

Think it is I2 of old? Even Odeon is not so delusional as to think otherwise. He may on occasionally pretend otherwise but his base is that knitting circle.

Censoring/banning/restricting/moderating myself, Calanadale & Scrapheap were all not his finest moments.

How to apologise to Scrap

Offline Al Swearegen

  • Pussycat of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 18721
  • Karma: 2240
  • Always front on and in your face
Re: No Spanking Laws
« Reply #278 on: May 10, 2013, 06:07:29 AM »
Quote
You know I have possibly not used the exact methods you have either but I would not for a second jump in and say that the way you parent is used to hurt/humiliate/scar your child mentally for life. Why do you think that is?

Did  i imply this about you?  You say you have used smacking as a parenting method, but you seem to take offence at the words i use to describe it -  corporal punishment, spanking, smacking, hitting?  What word is it that describes what you mean?  I ask you if the reason behind hitting is to hurt because it's the only reason i know.  Show me where i implied you were using humiliation and scarring children mentally for life?  It was a  genuine question with no implications intended.

No worries,  i lose interest in discussions when people put words in my mouth.

Not that I have. Or did you misunderstand what I was saying?
Was not sure whether this was your way of asking whether I was saying that I accused you of saying "i implied you were using humiliation and scarring children mentally for life?" or were you accusing me of implying "you were using humiliation and scarring children mentally for life?"
If the latter, I wasn't. If the former, no.

What I am saying is that I do not seek to pass judgement on your parenting style nor question its appropriateness and assume your intentions are good and you have the best interests of your child. That you do the best you can.
Now I also say I do not know your specific parenting methods (apart from a reward system you implemented once that had at least some effect with him at school when he was having issues there). I am not overly interested but will happily join in support discussions around this and have in the past. I am a parent too, after all.
Now IF I knew your parenting styles I could presume any particular form of punishment or whatever as a reprehensible act and ascribe it rather weighted and mean-spirited and harmful intent and being devoid of having any interests for the child for the purposes of mentally scarring the child or hurting their feelings or humiliating them (I have posted on this very thread the different ways this can be done. Parenting action condemned and so on). I don't. It is not that I could not make a half baked claim to that end, that anything you do to parent your child may be unfairly questioned as wrong.

You could say "Well sure, but I do not make those judgement or presume bad intent to you and your intentions or interests of your child either"
Then without placing words into your mouth I will cut and paste a couple of examples where you have done this.

If you do want to take your leave of this thread, by all means but stating you are losing interest because I am placing words into your mouth is pretty weak I would have thought

Sorry i just don't have the patience to decipher your posts,  it is so time consuming to pick through the  ''what if's'' and  ''suppose i''  and ''you could say''   and actually work out your point.      If you can't talk straight without going round the wrekin then i would need a translator.

Did you really miss it? The point in this post seems to be that he's presented his presented his parental disciplinary style in this thread for discussion, and you haven't, but only argued against his.

Yes, if I was given Bodie's parenting methods, I am sure as hell I can shoot holes in this too. I showed a lot of examples earlier such as for example taking away toys for being naughty as teaching stealing to children. It could well be argued that this is what children are taught. If I was really Orly Tait type fanatical about this, i could probably drive this into the social discourse on parenting.

Give me a method and see how i go.

Would not be fair though would it. It would likely be making some very large assumptions on a lot of things I do not know about. For example would i be including children who had their toys thrown away? What about those that had their given to younger siblings? What about those that were locked away for a month, a week, a day? What about the ones who were keep out of reach until they stopped the naughty behaviour? What about those that earned the toy back in return for good behaviour.

See what i mean?

Now relate this back to the thread and you will see how stats do not tell the whole picture, how they can be used, and also importantly how definitions DO matter.
I2 today is not i2 of yesteryear. It is a knitting circle. Those that participate be they nice or asshats know their place and the price to be there. Odeon is the overlord

.Benevolent if you toe the line.

Think it is I2 of old? Even Odeon is not so delusional as to think otherwise. He may on occasionally pretend otherwise but his base is that knitting circle.

Censoring/banning/restricting/moderating myself, Calanadale & Scrapheap were all not his finest moments.

How to apologise to Scrap

Offline odeon

  • Witchlet of the Aspie Elite
  • Webmaster
  • Postwhore Beyond Repair
  • *****
  • Posts: 108911
  • Karma: 4482
  • Gender: Male
  • Replacement Despot
Re: No Spanking Laws
« Reply #279 on: May 10, 2013, 12:26:19 PM »
It is, of course, possible to prove pretty much anything using statistics, but I doubt this is one of those cases. Here's the basic A/B comparison:

Smacking/spanking/etc allowed: crime rates/etc value at year XXXX is "X"
Smacking/spanking/etc banned: crime rates/etc value at year YYYY is "Y"

The years and their respective values are not numbers in any way controlled by the lawmakers. They are yearly statistics. They are also numbers that can be obtained in similar manner from other countries, as reported by the other country.

Now, if Y<X, I'm sure you agree that in principle it means the new legislation works. Note that since they avoid the issue of defining "smacking" as opposed to "hitting" by making them equal for the purposes of the new law, any smacking/spanking/etc is a crime and thus means every reported instance after the legislation was passed affects Y.

Of course, there is any number of other reasons for crime rates fluctuating so getting relevant numbers is hard.  What causes what? Does one change correlate to the new figure or not?

So the easiest solution is to interpret the numbers using the same methods for both X and Y. With everything else being equal, the easiest explanation (attributing the smallest change) is likely (or at least possible) to be true.

It's not perfect but it's what we have.

What's the alternative? Well, you could say that "no, I don't believe 'smacking' is harmful to my child" and be right, but in a situation where the laws also are permissive enough to allow the person who *hits* his child or smacks it with intent to harm to go unpunished, the statistics will be skewed, but for you it will be in the wrong direction for what you were trying to prove.

So your burden of proof is actually much harder than mine. For my study, I have been able to say "ban it all" and watch what happens, but you have to a) define "smacking" as opposed to "hitting", b) provide the statistics that support you definitions, and c) interpret them in such a way that a comparison between them and my study is possible and relevant.

See the difference? If I choose to ban every form of smacking, regardless of definition, my work is easier, with everything else being equal, and I actually don't have to work the numbers as hard.

If we assume that both parties might work the numbers in their favour but the basic data is freely available, it should be easy to make a feasibility study.

What does this mean? Well, only that I do have the numbers and an accompanying study, but you don't. If you mean to prove me wrong, you'll be busy for quite some time.

Further than that, I think  Odeon.

If I was to say that one child was beaten by both parents daily and over nothing, with randomness and ferocity. When they were "smacked" It was with extension cords and until they bled. Then I was to say that child number two was smacked on the bottom by an open hand not hard enough to mark them and only when they were naughty, and was stopped when they reached an age that they could be reasoned with. I think in this instance you are not talking about two children who were parented the same. I think that you could possibly see one becoming badly adjusted and dysfunctional whereas the other possibly would not be at the same risk.

But here is the kicker. If someone defines smacking to make both child one and two part of the same study group then any statistic reliant on the results will tar child two's upbringing with the upbringing of child one and likewise child two's behaviour will be tarred with that of child one. Sure I have no doubt that some of the kids like child two will be tearaways. But I would say that some kids who were not smacked will be affected.

But we can go further, I would assume that if the laws were passed preventing smacking that the culture around this had changed too. I still remember when breathalisers were introduced in Western Australia. It changed the drinking culture. People suddenly were aware that drinking a six pack at a friends and whilst watching the footy was needing to change. The really excessive drink drivers stopped risking it, because their time was up (mostly - exclusions to the general rule and all that not withstanding) . It did ask people to be mindful of what they drank before driving. Where they were excessive they got punished. A glass or two was no bother.
This may be similar to the change of culture just prior to the no spanking laws. When the culture or community was suddenly mindful of a problem. The types of parents who were like child number one's started becoming a rarity because they felt a lot more eyes on them. So the ones who remained where the ones not prepared to change.

Further still, if the community driving these changes (not making moral judgements to merits) were wanting to make the best cases then are they likely to water down the study groups by removing the parents like those of child number two away from the parents of child one or make them equally culpable? Are they going to consider child one and two's upbringing and criminal records the same? Sure it is easier.

Not fair. but easier.

Yes were I to I could, given time and research and enough drive find ways to qualify and quantify this to change results I think do not give decent figures as their definitions are too broad and their results too willing therefore to be interpreted too generally.
I could even perhaps suggest forms of non-smacking parenting approaches that are flawed and make a case for what they may prove. Being clever and with creative definitions, I am sure I could run down most non-smacking parenting available to parents. Would be completely unhelpful aside from a way to give parents an unfair needling.

But I am not so inclined. I can agree to disagree. I do not think that parents who are bad parents should be rewarded or let off from punishment. Do not know any adult who was bought up in abusive households living with fear, angst, pain and dread, that would be well disposed to their parents. I do know a lot of adults who say things like "I got an occasional smack on the bottom for being a little shit. but Mum and Dad were pretty cool" but I have yet to hear anyone say "When I was a little kid, I used to be bone tired when Dad finally pull up in the drive way. Late. He would make a racket coming in. He knew he was in trouble  with Mum. I would shake because it was the moments of reprieve before the fights. I could not cry because I was about to go out and face him and stop him getting angry with Mum, because she was little, almost as short as me. When he was out I was the man of the home and protect her from noises outside. I had to protect her now because she was upset and scared. I was frightened. I came to love them both." Will not hear it from me, either

I think it is a little off collating them all together and I could define them differently 10 ways but it will not matter if they are included together for the definitions stipulated in the studies.

The cool thing about the study that changed Swedish legislation is that the initial data was gathered before anyone had an idea there might be a change, and for another purpose altogether. Not easy to work the numbers if you have no idea what to manipulate. Also, I do believe the statisticians know more than you give them credit for; if you start by assuming they cannot take into account some rather obvious ways to skew the numbers suggested by a layman, there's very little hope for society.

As for the introduction of the breathaliser and the changes it brought, doesn't that prove my point?
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline Jack

  • Reiterative Utterance of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Maniacal Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 14550
  • Karma: 0
  • You don't know Jack.
Re: No Spanking Laws
« Reply #280 on: May 10, 2013, 03:02:18 PM »

Give me a method and see how i go.

All parent topics are touchy. Very emotional, best avoided, really. Never been the type to care what others think of my parenting or sense of right; neither sought advice no appreciated input. Would have to guess a lot of parents are that way, so they don't really care what I think either.

Offline Al Swearegen

  • Pussycat of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 18721
  • Karma: 2240
  • Always front on and in your face
Re: No Spanking Laws
« Reply #281 on: May 10, 2013, 05:10:24 PM »
It is, of course, possible to prove pretty much anything using statistics, but I doubt this is one of those cases. Here's the basic A/B comparison:

Smacking/spanking/etc allowed: crime rates/etc value at year XXXX is "X"
Smacking/spanking/etc banned: crime rates/etc value at year YYYY is "Y"

The years and their respective values are not numbers in any way controlled by the lawmakers. They are yearly statistics. They are also numbers that can be obtained in similar manner from other countries, as reported by the other country.

Now, if Y<X, I'm sure you agree that in principle it means the new legislation works. Note that since they avoid the issue of defining "smacking" as opposed to "hitting" by making them equal for the purposes of the new law, any smacking/spanking/etc is a crime and thus means every reported instance after the legislation was passed affects Y.

Of course, there is any number of other reasons for crime rates fluctuating so getting relevant numbers is hard.  What causes what? Does one change correlate to the new figure or not?

So the easiest solution is to interpret the numbers using the same methods for both X and Y. With everything else being equal, the easiest explanation (attributing the smallest change) is likely (or at least possible) to be true.

It's not perfect but it's what we have.

What's the alternative? Well, you could say that "no, I don't believe 'smacking' is harmful to my child" and be right, but in a situation where the laws also are permissive enough to allow the person who *hits* his child or smacks it with intent to harm to go unpunished, the statistics will be skewed, but for you it will be in the wrong direction for what you were trying to prove.

So your burden of proof is actually much harder than mine. For my study, I have been able to say "ban it all" and watch what happens, but you have to a) define "smacking" as opposed to "hitting", b) provide the statistics that support you definitions, and c) interpret them in such a way that a comparison between them and my study is possible and relevant.

See the difference? If I choose to ban every form of smacking, regardless of definition, my work is easier, with everything else being equal, and I actually don't have to work the numbers as hard.

If we assume that both parties might work the numbers in their favour but the basic data is freely available, it should be easy to make a feasibility study.

What does this mean? Well, only that I do have the numbers and an accompanying study, but you don't. If you mean to prove me wrong, you'll be busy for quite some time.

Further than that, I think  Odeon.

If I was to say that one child was beaten by both parents daily and over nothing, with randomness and ferocity. When they were "smacked" It was with extension cords and until they bled. Then I was to say that child number two was smacked on the bottom by an open hand not hard enough to mark them and only when they were naughty, and was stopped when they reached an age that they could be reasoned with. I think in this instance you are not talking about two children who were parented the same. I think that you could possibly see one becoming badly adjusted and dysfunctional whereas the other possibly would not be at the same risk.

But here is the kicker. If someone defines smacking to make both child one and two part of the same study group then any statistic reliant on the results will tar child two's upbringing with the upbringing of child one and likewise child two's behaviour will be tarred with that of child one. Sure I have no doubt that some of the kids like child two will be tearaways. But I would say that some kids who were not smacked will be affected.

But we can go further, I would assume that if the laws were passed preventing smacking that the culture around this had changed too. I still remember when breathalisers were introduced in Western Australia. It changed the drinking culture. People suddenly were aware that drinking a six pack at a friends and whilst watching the footy was needing to change. The really excessive drink drivers stopped risking it, because their time was up (mostly - exclusions to the general rule and all that not withstanding) . It did ask people to be mindful of what they drank before driving. Where they were excessive they got punished. A glass or two was no bother.
This may be similar to the change of culture just prior to the no spanking laws. When the culture or community was suddenly mindful of a problem. The types of parents who were like child number one's started becoming a rarity because they felt a lot more eyes on them. So the ones who remained where the ones not prepared to change.

Further still, if the community driving these changes (not making moral judgements to merits) were wanting to make the best cases then are they likely to water down the study groups by removing the parents like those of child number two away from the parents of child one or make them equally culpable? Are they going to consider child one and two's upbringing and criminal records the same? Sure it is easier.

Not fair. but easier.

Yes were I to I could, given time and research and enough drive find ways to qualify and quantify this to change results I think do not give decent figures as their definitions are too broad and their results too willing therefore to be interpreted too generally.
I could even perhaps suggest forms of non-smacking parenting approaches that are flawed and make a case for what they may prove. Being clever and with creative definitions, I am sure I could run down most non-smacking parenting available to parents. Would be completely unhelpful aside from a way to give parents an unfair needling.

But I am not so inclined. I can agree to disagree. I do not think that parents who are bad parents should be rewarded or let off from punishment. Do not know any adult who was bought up in abusive households living with fear, angst, pain and dread, that would be well disposed to their parents. I do know a lot of adults who say things like "I got an occasional smack on the bottom for being a little shit. but Mum and Dad were pretty cool" but I have yet to hear anyone say "When I was a little kid, I used to be bone tired when Dad finally pull up in the drive way. Late. He would make a racket coming in. He knew he was in trouble  with Mum. I would shake because it was the moments of reprieve before the fights. I could not cry because I was about to go out and face him and stop him getting angry with Mum, because she was little, almost as short as me. When he was out I was the man of the home and protect her from noises outside. I had to protect her now because she was upset and scared. I was frightened. I came to love them both." Will not hear it from me, either

I think it is a little off collating them all together and I could define them differently 10 ways but it will not matter if they are included together for the definitions stipulated in the studies.

The cool thing about the study that changed Swedish legislation is that the initial data was gathered before anyone had an idea there might be a change, and for another purpose altogether. Not easy to work the numbers if you have no idea what to manipulate. Also, I do believe the statisticians know more than you give them credit for; if you start by assuming they cannot take into account some rather obvious ways to skew the numbers suggested by a layman, there's very little hope for society.

As for the introduction of the breathaliser and the changes it brought, doesn't that prove my point?

It may, but it certainly does not harm mine.
The unmindful, uncaring, dangerous, drinkers in society, who drove were targeted. The ones who caused damage to society. Those who had a social wine over lunch or whatever, were not considered in the same overall category. To include those responsible drinkers would be unfair.

It was about raising public consciousness and helping society. Both which are commendable. Not marginalising the responsible to drive a point about drinking in general terms. Hence the "Two and that'll do" campaign
I2 today is not i2 of yesteryear. It is a knitting circle. Those that participate be they nice or asshats know their place and the price to be there. Odeon is the overlord

.Benevolent if you toe the line.

Think it is I2 of old? Even Odeon is not so delusional as to think otherwise. He may on occasionally pretend otherwise but his base is that knitting circle.

Censoring/banning/restricting/moderating myself, Calanadale & Scrapheap were all not his finest moments.

How to apologise to Scrap

Offline Al Swearegen

  • Pussycat of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 18721
  • Karma: 2240
  • Always front on and in your face
Re: No Spanking Laws
« Reply #282 on: May 10, 2013, 06:25:13 PM »

Give me a method and see how i go.

All parent topics are touchy. Very emotional, best avoided, really. Never been the type to care what others think of my parenting or sense of right; neither sought advice no appreciated input. Would have to guess a lot of parents are that way, so they don't really care what I think either.

Absolutely and also topics that are about differences
 Of course when one member knows another has had smacks on the bottom as a disciplinary measure then firing broadsides like: smacking, hitting, beating is all just varying degrees of the same action, the use of this is to cause pain and humiliation otherwise what point it there? It just teaches hurting others is OK, and that smacking children's bottoms predisposes them to a life of crime.....well it may be quite reasonable for the member (me) to be affronted.

The irony of course is that I am in return trying hard to be polite and agreeing to disagree. I am trying to explain my position. In doing when I basically say hey we both have different parenting styles and lovely children as  result. Our styles and it works for us and was told "I" was being bitchy because her child was having issues at school and that everyone knew.

Would love that irony or the bitchy reference explained
I2 today is not i2 of yesteryear. It is a knitting circle. Those that participate be they nice or asshats know their place and the price to be there. Odeon is the overlord

.Benevolent if you toe the line.

Think it is I2 of old? Even Odeon is not so delusional as to think otherwise. He may on occasionally pretend otherwise but his base is that knitting circle.

Censoring/banning/restricting/moderating myself, Calanadale & Scrapheap were all not his finest moments.

How to apologise to Scrap

Offline bodie

  • Reflective Katoptronaphiliac of the Aspie Elite
  • News Box Slave
  • Maniacal Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 14394
  • Karma: 2113
  • Gender: Female
  • busy re arranging deck chairs on board the Titanic
Re: No Spanking Laws
« Reply #283 on: May 10, 2013, 07:07:33 PM »
Quote
It sounds to me that you think of smacks on the bottom,  as child abuse and that it is all in the same league as beatings. I disagree completely. It sounds to me that you are saying anyone who therefore has smacked a child is a child abuser. I again disagree and regardless of how you try to pitch the allusion, it is not going to make me second guess myself or feel bad. If this is true, I hope not as I would have thought you were a little less judgmental

So what did i say that ''sounded like i think smacks on the bottom is child abuse''?   and what did i say that ''sounds to you like i am saying anyone who has smacked a child is a child abuser'' ?     

blah blah blah

Offline Jack

  • Reiterative Utterance of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Maniacal Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 14550
  • Karma: 0
  • You don't know Jack.
Re: No Spanking Laws
« Reply #284 on: May 10, 2013, 07:29:45 PM »
If it's not abusive, then why should there be laws against it?