Actually no. Some gaslighters behave like this but the definition of gaslighting is trying to get you to doubt your own perceptions, this requires lying to your face at some point.
Yeah, they will surely lie to your face, usually by PM, e-mail, chatroom etc. anywhere except on a public forum where others can calll them out on the lie, and/or offer moral support to the victim.
Well, get this: I've had occasion to exchange PMs with Odeon at times, and he never had a bad word to say about anyone behind their back. Like most of we Spazzes, he's actually much nicer to people when he's talking about them behind their back than he is when talking directly to their face. he doesn't belittle them, discredit them or anything like that ; he struggles to understand them.
Just because that's been your experience doesn't mean that that's the way he treats everyone. You haven't caused him any ego damage and triggered narcissistic rage from him.
I said he never had a bad word to say about anyone (by which I implicitly mean anyone other than me) begind their back. For all I know he; saying terrible things about me behind my back, but I'm convinced that would be completely out of character. If he's given a a chance to spread malicious rumours about yourself , for instance, without your knowing it or having a chance to defend yourself; he quite simply doesn't do that. And i don't see anyone jumping up to say " Yeah, actually he does do that. He sends PMs that dish the dirt on Scrap to me!"
Listen, Scrap. I have dealt with
real forum narcissists before (as well as IRL narcissists) . They don't attack people in public until
after they've demolished their reputation privately (via PM etc.) . And usually they attack people pre-emptively because that person knows something about them that they don't want speading around. And if they're a mod or admin, they will invariably permaban their enemies .
Now, we all know what it is you think you know about Odeon, don't we? And most of us take it witjh a huge pinch of salt, not to mention a bloody great yawn. haven't you noticed? Odeon hasn't even attempted to shut you up, has he? well.... not unless you count him drawing the line at the nth reiteration, coupled with demands that he answer the same old charges again and again and again. Comes a point when any half-way sane person will attempt to defend their sanity against that sort of thing . So, if you're seeing a bit of ego-defence coming into his public interactions with you... well, bugger me, it looks like Odeon's human!
If you're genuinely interested in the topic of narcissicism (which I somehow doubt) then you need to read up on it a whole lot more extensively, and think about it a whole lot more deeply, leaving your prejudices aside. You know, i suppose, that some people on this forum have been seriously emotionally damaged by their interactions with actual RL narcissists? You're not doing them any favours by trying to reduce that disorder to a stupid little meme that you can wave in Odeon's face. What people really need is to understand the disorder better, so that they can defend themselves against the next one who whispers in their ear (entirely unbeknownstt to you or I ). They don't need to be misled into thinking that every little bit of public scrapping on I2 is the work of a narcissisist.
A real narcissist would be laughing their socks off at the way you try to spread suspicion around, Scrap. like you're doing half their work for them , cos they aim to be the only person their victim feels able to trust , don't you know? That way, their victim (or "friend" ) doesn't dare talk to anybody else , and therefore doesn't ever get offered a more objective point of view on their experience. It's called "divide and conquer" Simple, but horribly effective.
Luckily, very few people ever take your POV on Odeon seriously, or else you could do some real harm.
