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Author Topic: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR  (Read 21875 times)

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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #570 on: November 09, 2018, 12:38:33 PM »
Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning...

'Windows frozen; won't open'

Husband texts back, 'Pour warm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer'

Five minutes later wife texts back, 'Computer really messed up now.'
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A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

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Offline Calandale

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #571 on: November 09, 2018, 01:53:56 PM »
Linux doesn't have that problem. :D
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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #572 on: November 10, 2018, 10:39:13 AM »
Quote from: Calandale on November 09, 2018, 01:53:56 PM
Linux doesn't have that problem. :D

Is he that guy from Peanuts?
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A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #573 on: November 10, 2018, 10:39:26 AM »
Q: What do you get from sitting on the ice too long?
A: Polaroids!

Q: What's an ig?
A: A snow house without a loo!

Q: Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
A: Because he thought his wife was a flake

Q: Getting a job in the Arctic in the winter is great! Why?
A: When the days get short, you only have to work a 30 minute work week.
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A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Minister Of Silly Walks

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #574 on: November 10, 2018, 03:57:26 PM »
Q. What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?

A. I don't know, but the flag is a big plus!
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“When men oppress their fellow men, the oppressor ever finds, in the character of the oppressed, a full justification for his oppression.” Frederick Douglass

Offline Calandale

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #575 on: November 10, 2018, 05:18:49 PM »
Quote from: Queen Victoria on November 10, 2018, 10:39:13 AM
Quote from: Calandale on November 09, 2018, 01:53:56 PM
Linux doesn't have that problem. :D

Is he that guy from Peanuts?

Yes. The Swedish one.
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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #576 on: November 10, 2018, 06:16:37 PM »
Quote from: Calandale on November 10, 2018, 05:18:49 PM
Quote from: Queen Victoria on November 10, 2018, 10:39:13 AM
Quote from: Calandale on November 09, 2018, 01:53:56 PM
Linux doesn't have that problem. :D

Is he that guy from Peanuts?

Yes. The Swedish one.

Oooooooooooooh, I love his meatballs.
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A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline odeon

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #577 on: November 11, 2018, 02:52:30 AM »
Quote from: Queen Victoria on November 10, 2018, 10:39:26 AM
Q: What do you get from sitting on the ice too long?
A: Polaroids!

Q: What's an ig?
A: A snow house without a loo!

Q: Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
A: Because he thought his wife was a flake

Q: Getting a job in the Arctic in the winter is great! Why?
A: When the days get short, you only have to work a 30 minute work week.

I groaned. :P
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"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline odeon

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #578 on: November 11, 2018, 02:52:54 AM »
Quote from: Minister of silly walks on November 10, 2018, 03:57:26 PM
Q. What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?

A. I don't know, but the flag is a big plus!

I groaned again. :P
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"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #579 on: November 11, 2018, 11:40:46 AM »
Quote from: odeon on November 11, 2018, 02:52:54 AM
Quote from: Minister of silly walks on November 10, 2018, 03:57:26 PM
Q. What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?

A. I don't know, but the flag is a big plus!

I groaned again. :P

You're not going to believe this, but I didn't catch it when I posted it.  I had to read your post and think.  You're smarter than I.
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A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #580 on: November 11, 2018, 11:41:17 AM »
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.

"Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.
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A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Gopher Gary

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #581 on: November 11, 2018, 12:57:41 PM »
Quote from: odeon on November 11, 2018, 02:52:54 AM
Quote from: Minister of silly walks on November 10, 2018, 03:57:26 PM
Q. What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?

A. I don't know, but the flag is a big plus!

I groaned again. :P

That one belongs in the make fun of Sweden thread.  :zoinks:
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Offline Minister Of Silly Walks

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #582 on: November 11, 2018, 02:09:59 PM »
Quote from: Gopher Gary on November 11, 2018, 12:57:41 PM
Quote from: odeon on November 11, 2018, 02:52:54 AM
Quote from: Minister of silly walks on November 10, 2018, 03:57:26 PM
Q. What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?

A. I don't know, but the flag is a big plus!

I groaned again. :P

That one belongs in the make fun of Sweden thread.  :zoinks:
I think you're having a bit of a gopher moment there....
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“When men oppress their fellow men, the oppressor ever finds, in the character of the oppressed, a full justification for his oppression.” Frederick Douglass

Offline Gopher Gary

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #583 on: November 11, 2018, 07:53:32 PM »
Quote from: Minister of silly walks on November 11, 2018, 02:09:59 PM
Quote from: Gopher Gary on November 11, 2018, 12:57:41 PM
Quote from: odeon on November 11, 2018, 02:52:54 AM
Quote from: Minister of silly walks on November 10, 2018, 03:57:26 PM
Q. What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?

A. I don't know, but the flag is a big plus!

I groaned again. :P

That one belongs in the make fun of Sweden thread.  :zoinks:
I think you're having a bit of a gopher moment there....

Oh yeah.  :lol1: It would still make a good Swedish joke too.  :zoinks:
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Offline Minister Of Silly Walks

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #584 on: November 12, 2018, 02:24:20 AM »
Quote from: Gopher Gary on November 11, 2018, 07:53:32 PM
Quote from: Minister of silly walks on November 11, 2018, 02:09:59 PM
Quote from: Gopher Gary on November 11, 2018, 12:57:41 PM
Quote from: odeon on November 11, 2018, 02:52:54 AM
Quote from: Minister of silly walks on November 10, 2018, 03:57:26 PM
Q. What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?

A. I don't know, but the flag is a big plus!

I groaned again. :P

That one belongs in the make fun of Sweden thread.  :zoinks:
I think you're having a bit of a gopher moment there....

Oh yeah.  :lol1: It would still make a good Swedish joke too.  :zoinks:

Yes. Although I had to google the Swedish flag (the Swiss flag, like most people I guess, I know what it looks like already).
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“When men oppress their fellow men, the oppressor ever finds, in the character of the oppressed, a full justification for his oppression.” Frederick Douglass
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