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Author Topic: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR  (Read 21909 times)

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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #405 on: August 27, 2018, 11:25:12 AM »
I can usually remember Monday through Thursday.If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

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A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

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Offline Lestat

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #406 on: August 27, 2018, 02:18:27 PM »
I don't get that last one QV.
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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #407 on: August 27, 2018, 05:46:51 PM »
Quote from: Lestat on August 27, 2018, 02:18:27 PM
I don't get that last one QV.

Older folks and senility.
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A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

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Offline DirtDawg

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #408 on: August 27, 2018, 06:17:01 PM »
Hillaryous!
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Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #409 on: August 28, 2018, 01:22:05 PM »

The biggest problem with most political jokes is that they often end up being elected.
 :zombiefuck:
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Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #410 on: August 28, 2018, 01:32:53 PM »
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy answered, "No ma'am, they're dead."
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A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #411 on: August 28, 2018, 01:36:59 PM »
Quote from: DirtDawg on August 28, 2018, 01:22:05 PM

The biggest problem with most political jokes is that they often end up being elected.
 :zombiefuck:

Agreed.  I didn't vote for either Clinton or Trump.  But I'm concerned that making jokes about Trump makes him seem less threatening.  So I don't.  However everyone else is more than welcome to.  I'd probably feel the same way about any president.

Having written what I did about Trump, I will always try to give ANY president the benefit of reasonable doubt.  The president is privy to so much information that the average citizen isn't.  We can only hope that the information is used well.
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A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #412 on: August 29, 2018, 06:54:12 AM »

Trying to give entropy a thought or two but entropy is just not what it used to be.

 :zoinks:
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Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #413 on: August 29, 2018, 07:30:49 AM »

The Flat Earth Society has membership chapters located all around the globe.
Who knew?  (emo)
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Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #414 on: August 29, 2018, 11:16:26 AM »
Marriage changes passion; suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
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A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #415 on: August 29, 2018, 04:26:33 PM »

Is THAT what this is?

:hair:
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Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #416 on: August 30, 2018, 10:18:01 AM »
Eddie was driving down the road and met a car coming the other way.

Although there was room to pass easily, Eddie forced the oncoming car to slow down and wound down his window and shouted 'Pig'.

Astonished, the other driver looked in his rear view mirror and swore at Eddie.

Then his car hit the pig.
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A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Calandale

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #417 on: August 30, 2018, 04:57:55 PM »
:pig:

I'm disappointed. Why is there no emoticon tied to this?
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Offline Minister Of Silly Walks

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #418 on: August 30, 2018, 07:42:58 PM »
Donald Trump's was being driven through a remote rural area when his presidential car hit a large, fat pig, killing the pig and damaging the car. As there was no cellphone reception Donald Trump asked his driver to walk to the farmhouse and tell the driver what had happened and ask for help.

The driver returned about 12 hours later, driving the farmer's truck. Donald Trump asked him "where have you been?".

The driver said "well I told the farmer what had happened and he started cheering and dancing, he opened his best bottle of wine followed by his best bottle of whisky and he got his wife to put on a feast and then he offered me the choice of his beautiful young adult daughters to sleep with, then in the morning I asked if I could borrow his truck and he handed me the keys and told me I could keep it!".

Trump found this a little hard to believe, so he asked his driver "exactly what did you say to the farmer?".

The driver said "well, I knocked on the door and when the farmer answered I said 'hi, I'm Donald Trump's chaffeur, and I just killed the fat pig' ".
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“When men oppress their fellow men, the oppressor ever finds, in the character of the oppressed, a full justification for his oppression.” Frederick Douglass

Offline Al Swearegen

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #419 on: August 31, 2018, 01:13:18 PM »
Quote from: Minister of silly walks on August 30, 2018, 07:42:58 PM
Donald Trump's was being driven through a remote rural area when his presidential car hit a large, fat pig, killing the pig and damaging the car. As there was no cellphone reception Donald Trump asked his driver to walk to the farmhouse and tell the driver what had happened and ask for help.

The driver returned about 12 hours later, driving the farmer's truck. Donald Trump asked him "where have you been?".

The driver said "well I told the farmer what had happened and he started cheering and dancing, he opened his best bottle of wine followed by his best bottle of whisky and he got his wife to put on a feast and then he offered me the choice of his beautiful young adult daughters to sleep with, then in the morning I asked if I could borrow his truck and he handed me the keys and told me I could keep it!".

Trump found this a little hard to believe, so he asked his driver "exactly what did you say to the farmer?".

The driver said "well, I knocked on the door and when the farmer answered I said 'hi, I'm Donald Trump's chaffeur, and I just killed the fat pig' ".

No
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I2 today is not i2 of yesteryear. It is a knitting circle. Those that participate be they nice or asshats know their place and the price to be there. Odeon is the overlord

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Think it is I2 of old? Even Odeon is not so delusional as to think otherwise. He may on occasionally pretend otherwise but his base is that knitting circle.

Censoring/banning/restricting/moderating myself, Calanadale & Scrapheap were all not his finest moments.

How to apologise to Scrap
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