To be honest raxy, I couldn't tell the difference which hole is which, if it weren't for the legs. Even then I'm not entirely sure, I THINK the ones tied up are at the arse end but not sure. I don't go for turkey really. And I don't like stuffing either.
And leeks...ew jesus. I don't eag veg, but leeks, are the worst. I HATE them. Can't fucking stand the things, and definitely couldn't force myself to eat them, much less keep a face on that says anything but 'do NOT get between me and the bog if you've half a synapse to speak of'
Prefer chicken to turkey really. I've always found turkey to turn out either too dry, or sopping wet. I like red meat, or if none to be had, fish or shellfish, saltwater fish rather than fresh water fish species. But red meat is definitely the favourite, as far as dead animals go. Not so much a pork fan though, I find it too fatty and too overly sweet. As for wild mushrooms, I have those I like, and some I absolutely despise. I don't like shop button mushrooms, or indeed MOST Agaricus species (same genus as the shop 'white button' and 'brown cap' 'portobello' etc. come from), although there are exceptions, some smell of and have a strong flavour of aniseed and there are some really good ones to be found, a few poisonous ones to be avoided in the family but most of these turn yellow, and none are killers, not in the UK, there's only one lethal one, A.aurantioviolaceus, and that is I believe, restricted to regions of tropical north africa, so we are quite unlikely to run into those, I don't believe it is common there either. The toxic ones we may encounter that are related to the generic 'shop mushroom' aren't severely poisonous, more the sort of thing that causes a day or two of misery with stomach upset, vomiting, diarrhea and sweating, self-limiting and not likely to put anybody in hospital if they are the only source of the poisoning and the symptoms are not masking those of another, deadly species also consumed.
Eaten plenty real good treats, and also some that were absolutely vile. Favourites being sulfur polypore (laetiporus sulfureus, aka chicken of the woods) the parasol (Macrolepiota procera), porcini (Boletus edulis, B.aereus and a couple of relatives of them) giant puffball (Langermannia gigantea, a hell of a culinary delight, and they are HUGE, a single puffball can grow to a meter in diameter or even larger, and weigh more than I do, and when picked young and at their best, are absolutely delicious, and completely impervious to misidentification, as their size alone means that within days of first appearing above ground they have already outstripped any but one other mushroom in size, and that other is also edible, reputed to be excellent eating, and looks, although like the giant puffball, rounded in profile the cauliflower fungus grows on tree roots and has a brain-like convoluted surface and different coloration. Even a blind man could, if told that what they were feeling was a mushroom, identify either species by size and texture alone) and the larch bolete and slippery jack bolete [technically not a bolete, they are in the genus Suillus] and of all, my favourite might well be either the giant puffball, or the saffron milk-cap, a bright orange mushroom throughout, with slight pitting on the stem, and decurrent gills, also orange, which also bleeds an orange-colored milky liquid when the flesh is wounded, and which has been highly prized since roman times or even before, they go somewhat greenish in color with age or bruising, although to no detriment to the flavour, and I got rather lucky, since they are at best uncommon, to bordering on rare. Not threatened, and its fine to pick them without threatening the survival of the species here, but I got blessed in that I had the excellent fortune to find a forest here, a large place, acidic soiled pinewoods although mixed with quite a lot of broad-leaved trees, oak, silver birch, sweet chestnut, a really good selection for finding mycorrhizal mushroom species of a great variety, and that happens to be productive of LARGE quantities of saffron milk-caps of excellent quality, size and flavour, as well as bay boletes, larch boletes and slippery jacks in good numbers, some fly agarics (a species always listed as poisonous in the guidebooks, but in fact, is psychoactive in larger quantities and in medium amounts it is very versatile as a herbal medicine and a few spoonfuls can work wonders with meat dishes, dried and powdered. They just need to be specially prepared, by means of an overnight long, slow heat-curing process by putting the caps on foil-lined baking sheets, turning over occasionally and propping open the door of the oven ajar, leaving the gas flame on the absolute minimum for it to remain lit, which decarboxylates a neurotoxin, ibotenic acid, forming muscimol, the psychotropic oneirogen and dissociative-esque hallucinogen, and medicine depending on the way its used and the quantity, and in smaller measures the keystone ingredient of my custom steak spice. Its only poison if not correctly prepared. And if they are prepared correctly they can themselves be prepared for the table, by means of first par-boiling in water, throwing away the water, changing the water for a second pan full, boiling again, throwing away that water and then finally cooking. It can't be eaten raw, else it will make the consumer ill, but once prepared its one of my favourite mushrooms too, and whilst pretty much everybody avoids eating it or having anything to do with it, it is quite safe and of much use when you but know what to do with it.)
And on the other hand, there have been things like the amathyst Deceiver, 'edible', and not spoken of in the guidebooks either as superb nor awful. Tried frying some last year along with a harvest of various other species and they were absolutely disgusting. Couldn't even swallow the things, more or less involuntarily spat the things out. Or worse still, the stinkhorn. The egg stage of them is meant to be edible. I made the mistake of believing the books on that and spent the rest of the night after the meal including a few stinkhorn witch-eggs in the evening busily hugging the shitter at my grandmother's house and retching up bile. That was NOT a pleasant experience. Never been poisoned per se, and they are known not to be truly toxic, but either I had a bad reaction (some people do, even to things like oyster mushroom, sulfur polypore, even porcini make some people sick) or those stink horn witch-eggs aren't as edible as the textbooks make them out to be. I've never had an accident that resulting in poisoning, is what I mean, I knew what I was eating, was not me that got things wrong, but the books telling me they are fine to eat. Just trust me on that one, they aren't and you don't want to taste the things either, they taste nearly as rotten as the adult stink horn fungus reeks, and those buggers you'll always know are around long before you ever see one, you can smell the things hundreds of meters off, and its truly foul, like rotting flesh and shit. Needless to say the adult form is most certainly going to be inedible. Doesn't look appetizing either, looks like a dick covered in shit at the bellend-end and growing from ruptured bollocks filled with gelatinous slime, with the stem (which is almost one with the rudimentary 'cap', that is no more than a filmy layer loosely placed on top of the cock-like 'stem', covered in greenish slime with the appearance of diarrhea from somebody pretty ill at the time and a smell that makes you wish it was just that.) having a texture like polyurethane foam.
