My mom had a very difficult labor with me. I wouldn't come out because I was in the wrong position and because she had a Kaiser doctor, they didn't give her a c section so I had to be pulled out with forceps and I was all covered in shit and it even got into my lunges. I nearly died and my mom had a lawsuit but decided to not sue because she wanted to enjoy parenthood and she was glad to have me alive after all. I just couldn't eat for two weeks so I had to be fed through feeding tubes and I still have those two scars on my chest where they had the tubes connected. But they are harder to see now because of my breasts.
Hi! Welcome back from (or should that be "to" ?) the near-death experience round here
My Mum has never quite quite forgiven her doctor's (nor me!) for the brutal forceps delivery I had to have ,@ two weeks overdue, and endowed with my Dad's big head. SHe makes the story of my birth and her nightmarish pregnacy s ound like Rosemary's Baby( "You drained all the goodness out of my body, and I had to have iron injections in my bum" and she was also hospitalised with pre-eclempsia) . And then when i was finally out, i was the marvel of the Maternity Unit, almost instantly learning to focus my eyes and track the nurses' movements , and even smiling and laughing.- at least so my mum swears (I've given up telling her it must have been wind. Actually , she is not that dim, and I'm not her only child, and the nurses thought the same. I've just aboput come around to believing her...for what that's worth) .
at least I didn't have little horns on my head
, and quacks like a 