(if entered one's home)
''close the fucking door'' *oink* ''but we already closed it''
'no from the other side, you fucking cretin'
One thing I've always wanted to actually do, is get a big box of donuts, eat them all of course, fill box with dog shit using a shovel, secure box in place lightly with a sparing application of superglue to the lid, just enough to make sure it won't fall off of its own accord, jack a pig car, and tie the box of dog shit to the towbar using something like tough braid fishing line, then leave a nice heavy bag of bricks on the gas pedal whilst leaving the brakes partially applied so it goes slow enough to catch up with. Pair of pig trotters from the butchers, left immersed in said dog turd, douse the car in petrol as your getting out, set it blazing like an xmas tree. Cheapo piece of shit chinese mass production line wage-slave produced garbage that will relay the footage.
Again, in the box.
Another filming from the rear of the pig car.
Or perhaps, just one pig trotter, and ram it up the tailpipe, leave there, hidden camera trained on the appropriate spot. Big pool of (pig) blood from a butcher's, to arouse instant reaction, poured in a pool, with the now trotter-less severed leg protruding a little from under the car in the pool of pig's blood, artistically arranged in such a manner that they cannot possibly fail to find that someone has stuck a severed pig trotter up the tailpipe of their pig car. Superglue in the locks would be a nice touch too, maybe some creepy phrases culled from a suitably kitsch horror flick and polished off with a donut, the round kind with a hole in the middle, inserted onto the tailpipe at the end, so it pokes through the hole and the donut stays stuck there.
