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Author Topic: Random things you shouldn't say to a cop.  (Read 1249 times)

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Offline Arya Quinn

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Re: Random things you shouldn't say to a cop.
« Reply #60 on: January 03, 2017, 06:06:55 AM »
"When do the bins go out around here? The body's starting to stink."

Offline Fun With Matches

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Re: Random things you shouldn't say to a cop.
« Reply #61 on: January 03, 2017, 11:00:10 AM »
"Where's the rest of Village People? We can't perform YMCA with just one member of the group!"

:laugh:

Lol, I like the body one above too!
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Offline Genesis

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Re: Random things you shouldn't say to a cop.
« Reply #62 on: January 03, 2017, 01:53:46 PM »
Tell me about your mother.... did she appreciate you becoming a cop?

This is a message board, not a ouija board  :zombiefuck:

Offline odeon

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Re: Random things you shouldn't say to a cop.
« Reply #63 on: January 04, 2017, 01:17:38 AM »
So... how small is it?
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline Lestat

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Re: Random things you shouldn't say to a cop.
« Reply #64 on: January 04, 2017, 02:21:14 PM »
'Wake up, wake up! your house is on fire'
Beyond the pale. Way, way beyond the pale.

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Offline Lestat

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Re: Random things you shouldn't say to a cop.
« Reply #65 on: January 04, 2017, 02:24:36 PM »
'you must have had a pretty shite excuse for a mother if she never taught you that to talk with your mouth full was bad manners; so remove your dick before speaking to me. That is a mouth, albeit a big one, not a pencil sharpener'
Beyond the pale. Way, way beyond the pale.

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Offline Fun With Matches

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Re: Random things you shouldn't say to a cop.
« Reply #66 on: January 04, 2017, 04:08:34 PM »
'Wake up, wake up! your house is on fire'

And it stinks of bacon!!
:dog:

Offline Lestat

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Re: Random things you shouldn't say to a cop.
« Reply #67 on: January 04, 2017, 05:47:15 PM »
You'd say nothing, so they would not wake up, is the point :P.
Beyond the pale. Way, way beyond the pale.

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Offline Gopher Gary

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Re: Random things you shouldn't say to a cop.
« Reply #68 on: January 04, 2017, 07:13:12 PM »
No YOU have the right to remain silent.  :zoinks:
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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: Random things you shouldn't say to a cop.
« Reply #69 on: January 04, 2017, 10:18:38 PM »
Do you know where I can get a good doughnut?
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

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Offline Lestat

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Re: Random things you shouldn't say to a cop.
« Reply #70 on: January 05, 2017, 05:53:06 AM »
(if entered one's home)

''close the fucking door''   *oink* ''but we already closed it''

'no from the other side, you fucking cretin'


One thing I've always wanted to actually do, is get a big box of donuts, eat them all of course, fill box with dog shit using a shovel, secure box in place lightly with a sparing application of superglue to the lid, just enough to make sure it won't fall off of its own accord, jack a pig car, and tie the box of dog shit to the towbar using something like tough braid fishing line, then leave a nice heavy bag of bricks on the gas pedal whilst leaving the brakes partially applied so it goes slow enough to catch up with. Pair of pig trotters from the butchers, left immersed in said dog turd, douse the car in petrol as your getting out, set it blazing like an xmas tree. Cheapo piece of shit chinese mass production line wage-slave produced garbage that will relay the footage.

Again, in the box.

Another filming from the rear of the pig car.

Or perhaps, just one pig trotter, and ram it up the tailpipe, leave there, hidden camera trained on the appropriate spot. Big pool of (pig) blood from a butcher's, to arouse instant reaction, poured in a pool, with the now trotter-less severed leg protruding a little from under the car in the pool of pig's blood, artistically arranged in such a manner that they cannot possibly fail to find that someone has stuck a severed pig trotter up the tailpipe of their pig car. Superglue in the locks would be a nice touch too, maybe some creepy phrases culled from a suitably kitsch horror flick and polished off with a donut, the round kind with a hole in the middle, inserted onto the tailpipe at the end, so it pokes through the hole and the donut stays stuck there.
Beyond the pale. Way, way beyond the pale.

Requiescat in pacem, Wolfish, beloved of Pyraxis.

Offline Lestat

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Re: Random things you shouldn't say to a cop.
« Reply #71 on: January 05, 2017, 05:56:14 AM »
If asked to comply with a piss test (like hell I am, at least not the kind they have ever wanted)

'Are you SURE you want a urine sample?, just how much do you want that sample. caveat porcinus'
Beyond the pale. Way, way beyond the pale.

Requiescat in pacem, Wolfish, beloved of Pyraxis.

Offline "couldbecousin"

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Re: Random things you shouldn't say to a cop.
« Reply #72 on: January 05, 2017, 06:39:28 AM »
No YOU have the right to remain silent.  :zoinks:

  That's quite enough of your lip, little rodent.   :police::police:
"I'm finding a lot of things funny lately, but I don't think they are."
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People forget.
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Offline odeon

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Re: Random things you shouldn't say to a cop.
« Reply #73 on: January 05, 2017, 11:13:08 AM »
I wish YOU would remain silent. :P
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline Arya Quinn

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Re: Random things you shouldn't say to a cop.
« Reply #74 on: January 05, 2017, 05:18:46 PM »
"Don't shoot, I'm white! You're only meant to shoot black people, remember!?"