Crush

[Al Swearegen]

I mean, I want passion more than anything, but distance (and patience) at first to attract me to them. Once I'm hooked, I don't need distance, in fact it turns me off.

As for someone taking charge, it's usually been me wearing the trousers in a relationship. I don't want a doormat, though, I need the man to be direct too, and tactful. I can't stand passive aggressiveness, or a man hinting at me in a mopey way to do something, it's really annoying. Just tell me.

I seem to prefer chasing. That said, most of my relationships have been started by me, the men seemed to realise I preferred to initiate things, at first anyway while I'm getting to know them.

I prefer when making contact that we both make the same amount of effort. I'm most comfortable with that.

Sorry, but this is entirely impractical to my reading. "I like men to be X...until I am with them then I expect they will be Y" You know how crazy that sounds when said like that don't you?

Maybe I sound like that because it's really hard to describe how I prefer things. For instance, someone paying lots of attention to me, who *really* listens - I find extremely attractive. When they're "too" analytical like me with my special interests...

Basically being a bit intense, then distant, then do it a couple more times, maybe a few, I dunno...it attracts me. Then once I'm attached, a lot less distance from them to keep up my attachment.

I'm just saying I know myself very well and recognise the patterns in human behaviour generally (it's a special interest) and see what applies to me. Maybe it sounds odd to describe it to others.

Maybe I sound like that because it's really hard to describe how I prefer things. For instance, someone doing X to me, who *really* listens - I find extremely attractive. When they're "too" analytical like me with my special interests...

Basically being X, then Y, then do Y a couple more times, maybe a few, I dunno...it attracts me. Then once I'm attached, a lot less Y and much more X from them to keep up my attachment.

I'm just saying I know myself very well and recognise the patterns in human behaviour generally (it's a special interest) and see what applies to me. Maybe it sounds odd to describe it to others.

Yes. Yes it is odd

[Yuri Bezmenov]

Basically being a bit intense, then distant, then do it a couple more times, maybe a few, I dunno...it attracts me. Then once I'm attached, a lot less distance from them to keep up my attachment.

Sounds like relationship issues.

[Yuri Bezmenov]

Justcurious wants input and advice, but only if it matches what she already wanted to hear and do.

LOL! yep!

[odeon]

Don't we all.

['andersom']

If I had to do it all over again I would just get 2 more cats. 

Aaah, that is why I let that stray come in yesterday. Now I understand. 

[Fun With Matches]

I'm depressed and I want to die. I can't take any more lies or rejection, from anyone.

[Al Swearegen]

I'm depressed and I want to die. I can't take any more lies or rejection, from anyone.

Other side of the "thrill of the chase" huh? To be honest, I never found it that thrilling. People are arseholes mainly. The only person you can control is you.

['andersom']

I'm depressed and I want to die. I can't take any more lies or rejection, from anyone.

Wow, how young are you.

When you react like this things concerning the loins and the heart you are not ready for lust and love.

Really, work on being content with yourself for company.

Love and lust can be great and awesome. But your happiness and will to live should not depend on it. If you hope for someone else to take it upon him to make you happy, you will either be disapointed or will wear your partner out.

Not often that I use this phrase, but do grow the fuck up.

[Fun With Matches]

Argh. OK, I totally get why I got those responses. I meant it in general, I had a big falling out with my mum today because she kept lying to me. There.

Still, some of you are kinda mean.

[Jack]

Still, some of you are kinda mean.

There's a difference between mean and frank. People probably assumed you were talking about an unknown crush and not your mom, there was no reason to assume otherwise, and in that context such statements are childish and attention seeking. Is there genuine cause to be concerned about your statements of depression and death ideation? 

[Fun With Matches]

Maybe.

As for whether to be concerned about my death ideation, sometimes yes. It's so much more than not having a relationship though, that's nothing.

I speak very clearly to my mother, repeatedly, and she acts as if I haven't said anything, e.g, "But that wasn't a proper no", "I didn't hear you", "But I don't understand what you're saying".

I finally got it out of her this afternoon this time around, that she was afraid to tell me the truth for fear of upsetting me. I had to guess it all out in my mind and calmly tell her, "I was being unreasonable. Yes, I was being very unreasonable. Now, can you please tell me why?"

I wish I didn't have to guess and go around all sorts of steps to work out how to find the truth. Instead she'll go along with what I say and then "forget" the entire point, no matter how simple it is.

FTR, she does the same to her partner, and he shouts at her. It's weird. It's like some OCD symptom or something, like she has to do it. Same with her asking the same questions repeatedly. I know she buys everything in twos and her excuse for that is "having a spare".

I keep having to talk to her because it's about my living situation. It feels like life and death to me.

[Jack]

Maybe.

Then maybe an admin should report you to an authority.

[Fun With Matches]

Maybe.

Then maybe an admin should report you to an authority.

Not necessary.

Besides, shaming me that way isn't a good tactic. If I ever went, I'd damned well make sure nobody knew when I was going to do it, or where. Mental hospital is not where I want to go, not from the stories I've heard.

[Jack]

Besides, shaming me that way isn't a good tactic.

It's not shaming, but rather curiosity if serious or not. That's what happens when people say things like that online and then follow through, the admins catch flack because they're the only ones who could have done anything.

[Al Swearegen]

Maybe.

As for whether to be concerned about my death ideation, sometimes yes. It's so much more than not having a relationship though, that's nothing.

I speak very clearly to my mother, repeatedly, and she acts as if I haven't said anything, e.g, "But that wasn't a proper no", "I didn't hear you", "But I don't understand what you're saying".

I finally got it out of her this afternoon this time around, that she was afraid to tell me the truth for fear of upsetting me. I had to guess it all out in my mind and calmly tell her, "I was being unreasonable. Yes, I was being very unreasonable. Now, can you please tell me why?"

I wish I didn't have to guess and go around all sorts of steps to work out how to find the truth. Instead she'll go along with what I say and then "forget" the entire point, no matter how simple it is.

FTR, she does the same to her partner, and he shouts at her. It's weird. It's like some OCD symptom or something, like she has to do it. Same with her asking the same questions repeatedly. I know she buys everything in twos and her excuse for that is "having a spare".

I keep having to talk to her because it's about my living situation. It feels like life and death to me.

My mother was cold and immensely cruel and my father drunken and violent. As a child I just wanted to be older so I could defend myself and move away so they could not hurt me any more.

Last two times I saw my father was about 20 years ago and on both occasions I best shit out of him, protecting my then wife and youngest child. I have not seen or spoken to them in years. My mother died 4 years ago and I was unmoved emotionally. It kills me that as an older male, I am similar in appearance to what he looked like at my age when I last saw him.

So, you are having a rough time with your mother? That sounds pretty terrible. I would have traded pretty much anything I had, when I was younger, to have had that much. But I guess it is a matter of perspective.