He didn't contact me.
I can't deal with this. I can't take people lying to me.
I feel like such a fucking idiot.
Generally speaking, people are strange and horrible.
Agree with you there. BTW, if you edited your post to take any advice out cos you think I didn't want to hear it, you can add it back in. I like your advice, it's very detailed and thorough.
I didn't, but here it is for what it is worth.
There is only one person you can ever control in a relationship. That is you. I think the closer you are to being true to yourself, the happier you are. It may sound a bit naff, but I think it is true. Be self-aware. Get to know the good and the bad and dwell on neither. Just get to know the various aspects of yourself and accept them. Revisit your values. Are you defending your values and disregarding the things you do not care about or are you doing the opposite and letting your values get trampled over whilst trying to defend or fit in with shit that is inconsequential or you really don't care about? Are you living in the past with past mistakes and embarrassments or missed opportunities? Put those demons to bed. Are you trying to impress people you would not piss on if they were on fire? Don't worry about them. Most people are not worth time invested thinking about them. I used to be so invested about what the kids at school thought of me. I am battling to remember what any of them looked like or what their names were/are. I certainly would not recognise them today. Yet for a while they held so much sway over my self-esteem. Do you repeat the faults of your parents or are you happy to accept it was a training run for them and they probably fucked up left, right and centre, and they are not perfect people and never were?
If you can look at these inner truths and get to know the person behind the reflection, you will be more comfortable and confident in you and your decisions, your right to your opinions, your right to carve your own place in your world. Most people are strange and horrible, they can go fuck themselves. They can walk with you, on your life's journey, if they are going to be nice and if they are going to be arseholes, they can fuck right off.
Once you are there, it will not matter whether you are with someone or not with them or who is impressed by you or who is not. The people in your life that choose to be in it, will be worth having in your life. They will be worthy of you and you will be worthy of you.