Thanks, people.
It's all a Hell of a lot more complicated than that. I can't even express myself properly, I've told my story to people so many times, it gets forgotten about, then people ask patronizing questions...this is IRL, and the internet. I get these days why people want to vent and don't want problem-solving. Hell yes if people knew all about this stuff then I would ask for advice, but 99.9% of people think they know but don't.
I'm really not having a go at anyone here, it is just my experience, and talking about my problems stresses the life out of me. I believe now a partner is the way to go, and I'm giving it a good go, because I've tried everything else. For example, I have two social workers, I have a council flat, the noisy neighbour situation has been going on for three years. The council said they'd help but instead rehoused me into a place with a history of noise problems, and frankly I think the motherfuckers deserve to die in a fire for getting me into this mess.
I also very recently bought a pair of customized ear defenders, and although I don't think they're going to work, I'm going to give them a try. I tried reading last night this book on sensory defensiveness (because no, it must be my sensitive hearing so a couple of bastard friends told me) and all it recommended was to get more exercise to relieve the stress. FTR my old noisy neighbours were all heard by the other neighbours, it was just luck that I fucking happened to be directly underneath them. And my mum saw my current flat shake when the old evil cunt below me decided to fiercely slam her door. She also had a go at my mother that I needed to be put back on my medication and that she would call the police on me.
No more explanation. I can't bear any of this. I've been to countless meetings having to regurgitate this negative crap. I just want to pretend none of it ever happened.