Porridge?
Well it could be made to fit pretty easily Butterflies. Simply do what I do and give you a thorough drizzling in honey (I like lime blossom myself...wonder if it goes down (or on) well with the butterflies)
And as for 'I've barely got beyond doing some kind of retarded doggy paddle
'
Aw, don't feel so bad IF thats true, I'd still turn up to watch (and cheer) (in true honesty, not sarcastically either)
Just thought I'd welcome you back, its good to see you turn up again. Where in the devil WHERE you? Didn't you get the memo about checking in, but never out?
And as for, MLAnus, why on earth would I try my hardest not to think about you so much? it comes as naturally as breathing, eating, drinking, donning my goggles and gas mask, or reminding you not to forget your intrinsic and profound knobweaseltry. Or that you should be mailed a letter full of some kind of nasty pathogen that'd make your internal organs turn to liquified diarrhea-esque mush (those that, mind you have not already achieved that state), your lungs haemorrhage and your eyeballs swell up and burst like a lychee fruit being squeezed to pop its innards out from the rind.