Chasing down a quote

[El]

Crowdsourcing this.  I'm trying to remember the exact wording and source of a quote that was something along the lines of "I do these things before the world can do them to me."  I believe it was a holocaust survivor and I think he was self-injuring and.or starving himself.  That I can't remember or find the exact source if bugging me.  Anyone know what I'm talking about (or better than I apparently am at googling)?

[WolFish]

Maybe this:

"I once had a patient who used to practice the most horrible tortures on himself, and when I asked him why he did such things, he said, 'Why before the world does them.' I asked him then, 'Why not wait and see what the world will do?' and he said, 'Don't you see? It always come at last, but this way at least I am master of my own destruction."

Joanne Greenberg

[El]

Maybe this:

"I once had a patient who used to practice the most horrible tortures on himself, and when I asked him why he did such things, he said, 'Why before the world does them.' I asked him then, 'Why not wait and see what the world will do?' and he said, 'Don't you see? It always come at last, but this way at least I am master of my own destruction."

Joanne Greenberg

I think so, yes.

Wow, did I misremember the context, lol.  It's still apt, though.