I'll add (having re-read this and paid more attention to Tom's story, specifically, which I glossed over a bit), that while I think the doctors performing euthanasia should damn well be flexible with scheduling and compassionate towards the needs of the client and their family, I very strongly disagree with the notion that the family should be notified. I think Tom flipped out in part because he felt guilty that he has contributed to his mother's loneliness by pushing her away. I find the idea that he seemed to be operating under- that it was ethically wrong of his mother's doctors not to contact him- someplace between offensive and scary. His mother was a grown adult and it was on her who to tell and how to tell them.
I say this, I'll add, as the chronically depressed daughter of two chronically mentally ill parents. I've certainly considered that either of them might suicide (see other threads for just how much that's come up lately). It's a fucking depressing option, and I'd certainly hope my father (who I am on speaking terms with, unlike my mother) would tell me if he was going to do something like this. But, well, I also wish he had an option other than jumping off a bridge, which is the plan he most recently had. (As for my mother- that would be her own business, though I bet she'd tell me anyway; I'm pretty sure I'd own it if I didn't go see her beforehand and not blame the doctors). I probably wouldn't tell either of them if *I was going to- I wouldn't want them to stop me. But, again, there's not a socially-accepted, medically-controlled option for me. But if there was a different societal attitude, all three of us would be less likely to suicide alone and in despair.
tl;dr Tom's butthurt shouldn't be the basis of restricting autonomy.