IQ and Testing

[McGiver]

PI, there is not an ounce of fake in you.  i think you are one of the most intelligent and logical people i have encountered.  though when you mix in your emotional side i begin to tremble in fear.

people have told you things, likely, just to keep you at their level.  you are so much better than that.

[ozymandias]

I feel the same way, some days I hate myself for being so stupid!  But, as DirtDawg said, I just keep trying no matter what.  On the plus side it's pissed people off who wrote me off years ago!

I've never really looked at it that way.  I really need to find someway to stop myself always thinking 'you could never do that', I know it holds me back a lot but sometimes it can be so difficult to ignore that voice.

On the positive side, we always are very encouraging to our children because we know how awful the negativity feels, aren't we?

Yes totally- Caitlin in particular is very critical of herself and I'm determined to do all I can to help her get rid of this negativity. The thought that she's going to end up picking herself to pieces over every little thing like I do scares the hell out of me.

Amber can be critical of herself, but, fortunately, she seems to have evolved a very zen easy going sense of self.  I grew up being picked to death and I was determined in fact, OC, about never doing that to her.  Fortunately, Carla is also pretty easy going and helps me to keep from being sucked into the criticizing/negative part of my nature.  Over the years I'v gotten better at that, as my real nature is more easy going.  I have a hyper critical/negative darkside that has diminished with time.  But, it's still there!

[El]

I never doubted I was intelligent.  I just doubted that it ultimately mattered in any way because I was so fucked up otherwise.

I didn't make very much trouble.  You have to be at school to do that.  I attended maybe nine years' worth of school, k-12.

Then again, I got expelled in first grade.  That was before I started skipping a lot.

will you please tell us how someone gets expelled from the first grade?

It was a fantastically conservative christian school, so they were easily shocked.  I was being bullied at home as well as at school and had a knack for being caught being violent, verbally or physically.