"The only childhood ruiner for me was all the Shrek stuff. I loved Shrek in my younger years but all the Shrek stuff really just killed Shrek for me. I can't look at it the same way. Every time I see that Ogre smile, I get shivers down my spine and end up having to look over my shoulder with the fears that Shrek might be standing behind me."
Some_Bloke left that message on an internet forum in the early hours of the morning, signed out and turned off his laptop. Before climbing into bed Some_Bloke looked over his shoulder for one final check. Ever since discovering the Shrek is Love, Shrek is life video he had lived in fear of a late night visit from Shrek.
"Oh God no." He muttered fearfully
"There is no God, only Shrek." The massive Ogre replied
S_B:
Shrek simply laughed at the futile attempt to fight him. Some_Bloke didn't stand a chance
"Calm dewn laddie. It wiel do nothin'." Shrek laughed
S_B:
"It is your destuny. Acceupt me!" Shrek shouted at Some_Bloke. A massive grin was on his Ogre face. One way or another, Some_Bloke was going to accept him.
"NEVER!!" Some_Bloke yelled, filled with more determination than ever. He wasn't going down without a fight, and he sure as hell didn't want Shrek inside of him.
This rage and determination turned the young man into a Super Sayan.
S_B:
Shrek laughed at the attempt to tossed an onion at Some_Bloke, knocking him off of his feet and out of Super Sayan mode.
"ACCEUPT YOUR DESTUNY!!" Shrek screamed, filling the room with his onion breath
Some_Bloke hung his head, refusing to look the Ogre in the eye.
"I suppose I'll just have to..." He muttered
"Acceupt your destuny?" Shrek asked, grinning
"No...The only thing that can defeat a meme is another meme...I never thought that I'd have to do this but...It appears that I have no choice."
Some_Bloke looked Shrek directly in the eyes and yelled.
"
Some_Bloke meme transformation activate!"
"Deadpeel?" Shrek asked with confusion
"I'm the best at what I do...Which is whatever Wolverine does." Some_Bloke/Deadpool replied, trying to imitate an over-serious voice
"Not enugh to steup me!" Shrek shouted.
Deadpool/Some_Bloke and Shrek battled for several hours. Shrek constantly tossed onions at his opponent, but he was able to either dodge the onions or slice them in half with his katanas. Several times he was able to land a hit on Shrek, but every time Shrek would simply eat an onion and heal all of his wounds.
Some_Bloke/Deadpool began to grow tired and pulled out a radio
"I'm going to need all the help I can get."
Just then, the door burst open and his loyal companion was standing there. He took one look at Shrek.
THE FACE OF MADNESS obliterated Shrek, leaving nothing but a pile of green, onion-scented ashes in his place.
"Gee, thanks Toffee!" Some_Bloke/Deadpool thanked, giving his trusty companion a thumbs up.
Toffee then fixed his face of madness upon his owner. There was an intense staring contest for several moments before chuckling was heard
"Hehehe! As Deadpool is already insane, I am immune to any abilities that cause insanity!" Some_Bloke chuckled
Toffee kept his stare but began to speak in his godly voice.
"Does that mean you can stare at both myself and Cthulhu in the face at the same time, mortal?" He asked
"Yes, yes it does."
As the two hoovered up Shrek's green, onion-scented ashes using Henry the Hoover, both Some_Bloke/Deadpool and Toffee pondered as to whether or not they were alone in not just the universe, or the multiverse for that matter. This caused the Some_Bloke/Deadpool hybrid to shiver at the thought of a universe where Deadpool didn't exist, and so Shrek was successful in penetrating Some_Bloke.
To calm him down, Toffee made the best cup of tea ever made with his god-like powers and the two dumped Henry's contents into a wheelie bin.
As they set the wheelie bin out for collection, a massive green hand emerged from it.
"Shrek is love, Shrek is life." An onion-scented voice uttered
