2
« previous next »
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 47   Go Down

Author Topic: Questions for God  (Read 19694 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31602
  • Karma: 2544
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Questions for God
« on: December 12, 2006, 12:05:46 PM »

Son of a bitch!

I haven't believed in you for years, but now that I have your attention, tell me a few things, please.

*God yawns, nods, then listens, reminding 'Dawg that most often, His answer is "No comment"*


When you were young, were you ticklish or have you always been stuck up?


Why did you make my dick just like my feet and then give me small feet?


Is it true you don't have a navel? Let me see.


(anyone think of any more ... quick, while he's listening!)


MOD:

( ... or if you have an idea why God did it, please, tell us)
« Last Edit: December 12, 2006, 12:09:03 PM by DirtDawg »
Logged
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Callaway

  • Official Spokesperson for the Aspie Elite
  • Caretaker Admin
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 29267
  • Karma: 2488
  • Gender: Female
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2006, 12:07:13 PM »
Why did You make mosquitoes?  They cause so much disease and death all over the world.
Logged

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31602
  • Karma: 2544
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2006, 12:07:30 PM »

Is McJ going to give up and break off that shit, right there, any time soon?
Logged
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31602
  • Karma: 2544
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2006, 12:15:09 PM »


I know you said it was a surprise, but can I take off my blindfold, yet?
Logged
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31602
  • Karma: 2544
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2006, 12:18:49 PM »
Quote from: Callaway on December 12, 2006, 12:07:13 PM
Why did You make mosquitoes?  They cause so much disease and death all over the world.

... or any other bloodsuckers, for that matter.

*imagines life without intelligent, bipedal parasites*
Logged
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

hiroshima

  • Guest
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2006, 12:21:11 PM »
Okay God:

WHY war?  Explain it!  Why? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?  I don't get how this could be part of your creation.  Is Satan more powerful than you want to let on?  Is he your equally powerful brother?
Logged

Offline McGiver

  • Hetero sexist tragedy
  • Caretaker Admin
  • Postwhore Beyond The Pale
  • *****
  • Posts: 43309
  • Karma: 1341
  • Gender: Male
  • Do me.
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2006, 01:43:38 PM »
are we there yet>

are we there yet?
Logged
Misunderstood.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31602
  • Karma: 2544
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #7 on: December 12, 2006, 02:00:39 PM »


Why did you make up the need for friends and then make them so fucking annoying.
Logged
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31602
  • Karma: 2544
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #8 on: December 12, 2006, 02:04:37 PM »

Were you only fucking with me when you gave me special moments and then only allowed me to become aware of how special they were upon reflection.
Logged
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline McGiver

  • Hetero sexist tragedy
  • Caretaker Admin
  • Postwhore Beyond The Pale
  • *****
  • Posts: 43309
  • Karma: 1341
  • Gender: Male
  • Do me.
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #9 on: December 12, 2006, 02:08:44 PM »
Quote from: DirtDawg on December 12, 2006, 02:04:37 PM

Were you only fucking with me when you gave me special moments and then only allowed me to become aware of how special they were upon reflection.
yes god, i want to know the answer to this one also.
Logged
Misunderstood.

duncvis

  • Guest
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #10 on: December 12, 2006, 02:40:34 PM »
*Forget it... philosophical pondering is best undertaken when very stoned. (question for the almighty removed due to making no fucking sense)  ::)
« Last Edit: December 12, 2006, 07:19:10 PM by duncvis »
Logged

thepeaguy

  • Guest
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #11 on: December 12, 2006, 02:43:14 PM »
Why have you made me so miserable lately?
Logged

Offline El

  • Unofficial Weird News Reporter of the Aspie Elite
  • News Box Slave
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 21926
  • Karma: 2615
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #12 on: December 12, 2006, 03:12:51 PM »
truce?
Logged
Quote from: odeon on April 30, 2010, 01:35:57 AM
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
Quote from: Lit on November 02, 2013, 10:24:49 AM
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
Quote from: ProfessorFarnsworth on September 23, 2012, 01:16:21 AM
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline odeon

  • Witchlet of the Aspie Elite
  • Webmaster
  • Postwhore Beyond Repair
  • *****
  • Posts: 108911
  • Karma: 4482
  • Gender: Male
  • Replacement Despot
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #13 on: December 12, 2006, 03:47:49 PM »
Logged
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31602
  • Karma: 2544
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #14 on: December 12, 2006, 05:09:00 PM »
Quote from: PMS Elle on December 12, 2006, 03:12:51 PM
truce?

 :laugh:

I+You

That looks like a lot less fatalist than in the recent days.
Logged
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 47   Go Up
« previous next »