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Author Topic: Whodunnit? (contains spoilers)  (Read 3575 times)

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Offline Arya Quinn

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Whodunnit? (contains spoilers)
« on: April 14, 2014, 06:17:57 PM »
So, with the most recent episode of Game Of Thrones we watched in horror and/or joy as King Joffrey (also known as Joffrey the asshole, Joffrey the cunt and Joffrey the mad idiot king) was killed at his own wedding (karma much?)  :mischief:



I have been assigned to find out the real suspect and clear Tyrion's name (of yet another crime he hasn't committed) but I need your help  :kapkao:  :viking:

I have narrowed down the possible suspects to a list of six.

Suspect Number One: Winnie The Pooh




Why he hated Joffrey: It was recently revealed that Winnie the Pooh was in fact Darth Vader and that his friend and partner in crime Christopher Robbin was Jack the Ripper. There was a scandal and Pooh's reputation was damaged as a result...And who accused Pooh in the first place of being the famous Victorian serial killer? Joffrey himself! Pooh also wanted to seize power for himself.

Pooh has always hated Joffrey, being a secret admirer of the late Ned Stark and Sean Penn. He knew himself that Neddie was going to die, he just didn't expect him to go out like that.

Evidence: He wasn't seen at Joffrey's wedding...Or was he? If you search for Winnie you can see him in the background somewhere, hiding in the shadows or using his force powers or something.

Suspect Number Two: Hodor



Why he hated Joffrey: Hodor is the puppet master of Westoros who has been trying to seize power since the very beginning. Joffrey was an obvious threat, being a nasty king and all.
Evidence: Hodor? Hodor. Hodor! HOOOOOOOODDDDOOORRRRR!

Suspect Number Three: couldbecousin



Why she hated Joffrey: CBC and Joffrey have always hated each other, Joffrey had nothing against her personally but rather something against her species. The species of weebles. Joffrey ordered the execution of thousands of weebles and with the Starks defeated he could have wiped out the entire species. CBC could have killed Joffrey to save her people...But is she really capable of murder?
Evidence: She wasn't present at the royal wedding (for the obvious reason that all webbles caught in King's Landing are to be arrested on sight) but she is a master of disguise and has multiple contacts inside King's Landing. She could have ordered any of them to kill Joffrey for her before paying to keep them silent (in either blood of gold)

Suspect Number Four: This man



Why he hated Joffrey: I have no fucking idea as to who this man is. I don't know his name, his mother's maiden name, the name of his first pet or any other valid details I need to access his bank account. All I actually have against him is evidence.
Evidence:


Look at that face for one thing... Its extremely suspicious! And the way he appears in the murder mystery thing...It looks like he's toasting the dead King and its suspected that it was poisoned wine that killed Joffrey! This man could be dropping a few hints, playing mind-games with and mindfucking us!  :headhurts:

Suspect Number Five: Some_Bloke



Why he hated Joffrey: Some_Bloke hated Joffrey from the beginning. He was allied with both the Starks and the Targaryens and just about everyone else who was an enemy of Joffrey.
Evidence:: It was rumored that he planned on building a time machine and stopping Joffrey from being born, also he's leading an investigation into the murder which he could easily use to clear his name. He was present at the royal wedding, too and left shortly after Joffrey started to choke.

Final Suspect: Kermit The Frog




Why he hated Joffrey: Siblings, the two had a vicious sibling rivalry and childhood together. On multiple occasions Joffrey tried to have Kermit killed but was unsuccessful. Kermit only recently learned of all attempts. On each occasion Tyrion or Jamie intervened, saving Kermit from death. He is also very sympathetic to webbles.
Evidence: Present at the royal wedding and following the death of Joffrey he is now the true heir to the Iron Throne. He has been seen on multiple occasions with Some_Bloke (including when he left the wedding) leading some to speculate that the two collaborated to kill Joffrey:





WHO KILLED KING JOFFREY? WHO KILLED KING JOFFREY? WHO KILLED KING JOFFREY? WHO KILLED KING JOFFREY? WHO KILLED KING JOFFREY? WHO KILLED KING JOFFREY? WHO KILLED KING JOFFREY? WHO KILLED KING JOFFREY? WHO KILLED KING JOFFREY? WHO KILLED KING JOFFREY? WHO KILLED KING JOFFREY? WHO KILLED KING JOFFREY? WHO KILLED KING JOFFREY? WHO KILLED KING JOFFREY? WHO KILLED KING JOFFREY? WHO KILLED KING JOFFREY?
« Last Edit: April 14, 2014, 06:22:05 PM by Some_Bloke »

Offline Icequeen

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Re: Whodunnit? (contains spoilers)
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2014, 06:52:51 PM »
It was Kermit...you can't trust a frog. Pick them up and they pee on you every time.

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: Whodunnit? (contains spoilers)
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2014, 07:20:17 PM »
It was Kermit...you can't trust a frog. Pick them up and they pee on you every time.

But he didn't leave any warts, so it couldn't have been him.
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Offline Jack

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Re: Whodunnit? (contains spoilers)
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2014, 08:25:42 PM »
"This Man" :laugh:

Offline odeon

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Re: Whodunnit? (contains spoilers)
« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2014, 11:33:59 PM »
What are you on about?
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Offline Arya Quinn

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Re: Whodunnit? (contains spoilers)
« Reply #5 on: April 15, 2014, 04:24:25 AM »
What are you on about?

I'm running an investigation into who killed Joffrey.  :yarly:

Offline Semicolon

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Re: Whodunnit? (contains spoilers)
« Reply #6 on: April 15, 2014, 05:40:50 AM »
What are you on about?

Once you get to know Some_Bloke, you'll learn that asking that question will get you nowhere. :P
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Offline Arya Quinn

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Re: Whodunnit? (contains spoilers)
« Reply #7 on: April 15, 2014, 06:23:43 AM »
What are you on about?

Once you get to know Some_Bloke, you'll learn that asking that question will get you nowhere. :P

Because The Asshole Beyond the Wall is the one asking the questions  :yarly:

Offline Semicolon

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Re: Whodunnit? (contains spoilers)
« Reply #8 on: April 15, 2014, 06:34:29 AM »
What are you on about?

Once you get to know Some_Bloke, you'll learn that asking that question will get you nowhere. :P

Because The Asshole Beyond the Wall is the one asking the questions  :yarly:

What shall we use to fill the empty spaces where we used to talk? :dunno:
I2 has a smiley for everything. Even a hamster wheel. :hamsterwheel:

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Offline Al Swearegen

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Re: Whodunnit? (contains spoilers)
« Reply #9 on: April 15, 2014, 06:51:58 AM »
No one person has been harder on King Joffrey than Some_Bloke. I say this is a cut n dried case BUT as the lead investigator is the lead suspect...
I2 today is not i2 of yesteryear. It is a knitting circle. Those that participate be they nice or asshats know their place and the price to be there. Odeon is the overlord

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Offline RageBeoulve

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Re: Whodunnit? (contains spoilers)
« Reply #10 on: April 15, 2014, 03:20:58 PM »
Real talk, SB. You should find work investigating various things. You're not bad at isolating variables and categorizing them.
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Offline ZEGH8578

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Re: Whodunnit? (contains spoilers)
« Reply #11 on: April 15, 2014, 05:11:45 PM »
*watches game of thrones episode*
*before end credits are even finished, runs to an aspie-forum to spoiler it for everyone outside the US who haven't seen yet*

>:'I

yes yes, I see it in the title. I knew he was gonna die tho. I wikied it. SHUT UIP"!

Offline Jack

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Re: Whodunnit? (contains spoilers)
« Reply #12 on: April 15, 2014, 05:13:38 PM »
Zeg is not amused. :M

Offline ZEGH8578

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Re: Whodunnit? (contains spoilers)
« Reply #13 on: April 15, 2014, 05:15:24 PM »
I'm kindov joking, as I find the fanaticism around "spoilers" a bit too much. Some reactions to spoilers are comical "YOUVE RUINED IT FOR ME!!!" ruined what? That the hero wins, that justice is done, that evil is not allowed to prevail?
"YES THAT! RUINED!!! D:"

Offline Arya Quinn

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Re: Whodunnit? (contains spoilers)
« Reply #14 on: April 15, 2014, 06:00:56 PM »
*watches game of thrones episode*
*before end credits are even finished, runs to an aspie-forum to spoiler it for everyone outside the US who haven't seen yet*

>:'I

yes yes, I see it in the title. I knew he was gonna die tho. I wikied it. SHUT UIP"!

I live in the UK  :orly: