Here is my previous friend-article,
My Turkish friendAs an aspie, I ultimately function better with other aspies, both online and in real life. My next friend isn't as spectacular as the Turk - only one man can surpass the Turk, and I will get to him eventually.
My aspie friend has 3 features, that often combine: He is very loud, He walks about war, terrorism, violence and mayhem - OR he talks about Playstation games.
This is fine, usually, except when it gets loud, about wars or games - in public. Which is every time we meet.
We are both broke, both diagnosed late in life (in fact, I pushed him to get himself diagnosed, cus he was stuck in the same welfare-loop as I was, getting nowhere, and he reeked of aspie)
we will synchronize our weed shopping. Since he lives with his dad, and doesn't need to pay anything at home, he always has more money than me, and always buys twice the ammount of weed that I do.
Anyway, we jump on the same bus, and that's usually where it begins, more or less a bunch of
"OH MAN THIS NEW GAME WHOA YOU SHOULD TRY IT! WHEN ARE YOU GETTING A PLAYSTATION!?"
"Im gonna get a computer first"
"MAN YOU ARE MISSING OUT! THIS GAME IS AWESOME, YOU CAN RUN, AND JUMP, AND PRONE, AND SHOOT A BUNCH OF PEOPLE!!!"
"Oh"
"AND NOBODY GETS IT! THEYRE ALL SO STUPID! I CANT BELIEVE HOW STUPID THEY ARE! THE GAME IS SO EASY, YOU JUST HAVE TO GRASP ALL THE FINE MECHANICS, AND OFF YOU GO, NOBODY CAN TOUCH ME!"
"Ah"
"LIKE THIS ONE GUY! HE CAME AROUND A CORNER RIGHT! I SHOT HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE!"
[imagine by now, that people get on and off the bus, they don't necesarily know what we're talking about]
"AND ONE GUY, HE WAS MINDING HIS OWN BUSINESS, I SNUCK UP BEHIND HIM, STABBED HIM RIGHT IN THE THROAT, THEN DRAGGED HIM AWAY, AND HID HIS BODY, THEN I SHOT HIS PALS IN THE EYE, AND CARVED HIS EAR OFF!"
"Cool"
"I CONTINUED UP THE STAIRS, SHOT TWO GUYS THERE. PRONED. JUMPED. THEN SNUCK AROUND A CORNER, FIRED TWO - NO WAIT!!! THREE! I FIRED THREE ROUNDS, THEN I HAD TO CHANGE MY MAGAZINE, SO I PRONED, AND HID BACK AROUND THE CORNER - NO WAIT - OH YES, I FIRED THREE SHOTS, THEN I HAD TO CHANGE MY MAGAZINE, SO I PRONED, AND HID BACK AROUND THE CORNER, AND THEN THIS OTHER GUY CAME AROUND, HE DIDN'T SEE ME - AND I SHOT HIM IN THE GUT, THEN TWICE IN THE FACE, CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW STUPID HE WAS!?"
"Wow"
we get off the bus, wander around town, while he has moved on to the subject of the intricate reality of spree killing "LOOK I GIVE YOU A RIFLE, AND I HAVE ONE FOR MYSELF, YOU STAND GUARD HERE, WHILE I START SHOOTING AT THE CROWDS FROM UP THERE. IT'LL TAKE COPS AT LEAST 4-6 MINUTES TO ARRIVE, AND BY BLOCKING OFF THAT EXIT -
"dude... "
"WE WOULD AT LEAST BE ABLE TO KILL 10-15, AND SERIOUSLY WOUND ANOTHER 30"
"dude... i get it, i know, i - "
"IT WOULD BE EASY TO SLIP AWAY TOO, WITH THE TERRAIN HERE, IT'S WORRYING HOW EASY IT CAN BE DONE! GVT SHOULD TAKE MEASURES!!!"
he might move on to the topic of invasions
"I'LL SIMPLY TAKE MY RIFLE UP IN THE HILLS AROUND MY HOUSE, AND SNIPE RUSSIANS FROM THERE" (this is long before the Crimea thing)
one time I casually mentioned a torture victim in the centre of town, that he had heard of, but that I knew some more details about. He came to the conclusion that the guy died because he was stupid.
I tried to counter that, hey, sometimes you get killed or attacked by surprise cus - surprise! You just didn't know.
"I WOULD SIMPLY HAVE ARRIVED WITH A RIFLE, AND SHOT EVERYBODY IN THE FUCKING FACE!"
"Eh... he was going to a transaction, they can't show up with rifles -.-"
"WHY NOT? IF THEY'RE GONNA KILL HIM!!!"
"But he doesn't know that"
"HE SHOULD HAVE STAYED SAFE, AND COME WITH A RIFLE! THAT'S WHAT I'D DO!"
"You'd go to business meetings, armed with a rifle?"
"YEAH! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!? DON'T YOU WANT TO DEFEND YOURSELF?"
"ehhhh... yeah, but - "
"EXACTLY! DEFEND YOURSELF! KILL THEM BEFORE THEY KILL YOU! WITH YOUR RIFLE!"
"i dont have a rifle"
"EASY! I CAN GET YOU A GOOD HUNTING RIFLE!"
"i cant afford one"
"THEY DONT COST MUCH! I CAN GET A RIFLE ANYWHERE!"
"what about those dumb schmucks in congo? they didn't get rifles."
"I COULD GET RIFLES IN CONGO! EASY!"
"wha... you have NO contacts in congo! NONE!"
"I DONT NEED CONTACTS ID JUST GET A RIFLE AND SHOOT THEM IN THE FACE BEFORE THEY SHOOT ME!!!"
"what... what are you talking about!? are you shooting congolese people now!?"
"YEAH! WTF!!! WOULDNT YOU DEFEND YOURSELF!? COWARD!!! >:'O"
by that time, the inevitable happened, and some guy a few seats down us turned around, and gave us a long, very worried, wide-eyed stare. This did not deter him the least
"IF SOMEONE THREATENS YOUR LIFE YOU END THEIR LIFE BEFORE THEY END YOURS!!! I CANT BELIEVE YOU DISAGREE WITH THIS!!! END THEIR LIFE!!! KILL THEM!!! KILL THEM!!!"
When we finally got off the bus, I was so relieved, but I stayed slightly worried we would be busted by anti-terror troops throughout that evening, long after he had left.
He isn't completely unredeemable tho, and once every rare time, I can get him to switch on the indoors voice, such as one time, when he wanted me to watch an awesome violent cam-filmed docu from the Afghan war, Norwegian troops on patrol.
The camera showed the top fuselage of an IFV vehicle, a 50 cal mounted machinegun, and a little sea of huge, spent cartridges, and the machinegunners gloved hand brushing deep into the cartridges, trying to brush them off the hood.
"OH MAN IT WOULDA BEEN SO AWESOME TO BE THERE! IMAGINE!"
"no it wouldn't. you know this. it's a war-zone, it's not a game. Bam, and you black out, you're gone."
"Oh... yeah :I"
This was followed by one of the soldiers confessing to the camera, that he did worry about his mother.
"Okay, fuck it, shut it off :I"
"Yeah."
A slightly less dramatic feature, is that he has a lot of trust in a finished product, and seems to not acknowledge error in creation. If a movie has a shitty predictable story, he tends to treat it as if it was a documentary about a trivial story, as if you cannot blame the story for being shitty, cus stories are how they are. I try to explain that nobody can change reality, and that yes, reality cannot help being how it is: But FICTION is man-made, and we, people, humans, recipiants, need to have some demands for quality. Everything doesn't go. Everything isn't fair. I even tested him, by telling him the outlandish explanation for the end-of-the-world in "2013", that the "neutrinos had mutated". He pondered on this SO HARD, cus he realized that this makes no goddamn sense, neutrinos cannot mutate, and even if they did, how would this cause the end of the world??? He pondered and pondered and pondered, there HAD to be a rational explanation!
I susprised him: When I told him that it HAS NO explanation. It is the result of DUMB scriptwriters, writing out of their ASS.
This premise had simply not struck him before. It made sense to him! But he didn't think of it himself!
This oddity in quest for reality has made him very stubborn to his own definitions and ideas of things, he will fill out blanks by himself, and then hold on to that:
He insisted for days that sociopathy and psychopathy were two completely different afflictions, not related whatsoever. I tried to explain that they are synonyms, two words, words invented by humans, words are inventions, words and definitions go hand in hand. He disagreed! In short, he gave "sociopathy" all the symptoms of sociopathy, while "psychopathy" all the symptoms of PTSD. I then tried to explain to him about PTSD, but he disagreed.
He watched a docu once, that showed Albertosaurus and Gorgosaurus as a night vs day hunter rival. This is pure flavor given by the docu-makers, to "bring life" to fossils, to play with plausible speculation. I tried to explain that. He insisted that surely, I cannot possibly know more about dinosaurs, than a TV-documentary. My jaw dropped, I lost it, and explained to him that yes, omg yes, yes yes yes i can, i have since I was a toddler, and i always will! He disagreed. He then claimed that the dinosaurs were called Albertosaurus rex, Gorgosaurus rex, in fact, they were all called "rex".
I told him there is no way in hell, a documentary would make such a claim.
He disagreed.
After one more war-docu, we begun to argue about who-said-what. He was basing his whole personality-analysis, on that, someone who said something. We finally rewound the docu, so I could show him who indeed said what.
He was BAFFLED.
"HOW!? HOW CAN I FORGET A FACE LIKE THAT!? WTF!? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE... D:"
"aspie, dude... you're aspie... "
"D:"
