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Author Topic: a coupla more  (Read 1507 times)

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Offline McGiver

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a coupla more
« on: December 11, 2006, 12:42:04 PM »
inches.


i have been slaving away inside of my wifes vagina trying to get this baby to come out.
but alas, it is clear to me that i need a coupla more inches to get the job done.

any volunteers?
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purposefulinsanity

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Re: a coupla more
« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2006, 12:51:05 PM »
Try the other stuff I mentioned.  But the baby won't come out till its good and ready.
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Offline McGiver

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Re: a coupla more
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2006, 01:02:57 PM »
i did.

i woke her up to freshly cut pineapple slices.

we are going to the mall now to go walking.
then we will come home and back to work for my inadequate pecker.
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purposefulinsanity

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Re: a coupla more
« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2006, 01:04:56 PM »
Don't forget the nipple stimulation.
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Offline McGiver

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Re: a coupla more
« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2006, 01:06:31 PM »
by suckling?

i did.
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purposefulinsanity

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Re: a coupla more
« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2006, 01:07:19 PM »
Quote from: McJagger on December 11, 2006, 01:06:31 PM
by suckling?

i did.

Sucking, using your fingers- you need to do it for longer than your five minutes of foreplay though.  :P
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Offline McGiver

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Re: a coupla more
« Reply #6 on: December 11, 2006, 01:08:34 PM »
should i do it until her cholestrum starts to come out.  and long afterwards?

callaway, do you have any suggestions?
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purposefulinsanity

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Re: a coupla more
« Reply #7 on: December 11, 2006, 01:11:36 PM »
You can do it for as long as you both feel comfortable with it, the longer the better- BUT bear in mind you're baby is still not due yet so you might be better to just let nature take its course.   When I was training as a midwife it was thought a very effective technique to help with a slow labour and also to help bring on overdue labour for women who wanted to avoid artificial induction.
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Offline Callaway

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Re: a coupla more
« Reply #8 on: December 11, 2006, 02:12:55 PM »
Quote from: McJagger on December 11, 2006, 01:08:34 PM
should i do it until her cholestrum starts to come out.  and long afterwards?

callaway, do you have any suggestions?

At least 15 minutes per side, several times a day.  Walking's good too, as are the other things you say that you have tried. 

I also recommend red raspberry leaf tea three to five times a day, starting now, not to induce labor but to make it an easier labor for your wife.  It helps to strengthen and tone the uterus and it is safe for the baby.

When is her actual due date?  December 20?
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Offline QuirkyCarla

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Re: a coupla more
« Reply #9 on: December 11, 2006, 02:59:37 PM »
Quote from: McJagger on December 11, 2006, 12:42:04 PM
inches.


i have been slaving away inside of my wifes vagina trying to get this baby to come out.
but alas, it is clear to me that i need a coupla more inches to get the job done.

any volunteers?

I suggest you wait till at least December 22. You don't want the baby to be a sagittarius. They have horrible tempers.
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Litigious

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Re: a coupla more
« Reply #10 on: December 11, 2006, 03:04:35 PM »
My brother is a sagittarius. His temper is awful. But I'm not sure wether or not to believe in astrology.
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Offline McGiver

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Re: a coupla more
« Reply #11 on: December 11, 2006, 03:24:54 PM »
Quote from: Callaway on December 11, 2006, 02:12:55 PM
Quote from: McJagger on December 11, 2006, 01:08:34 PM
should i do it until her cholestrum starts to come out.  and long afterwards?

callaway, do you have any suggestions?

At least 15 minutes per side, several times a day.  Walking's good too, as are the other things you say that you have tried. 

I also recommend red raspberry leaf tea three to five times a day, starting now, not to induce labor but to make it an easier labor for your wife.  It helps to strengthen and tone the uterus and it is safe for the baby.

When is her actual due date?  December 20?
Dec 20th yes.

but my wife is miserable and uncomfortable.  she wakes up every 30 minutes to pee, and has a difficult time sleeping at all because he is moving all the time.

PI recommended that red raspberry leaf tea via pm, maybe i shoud recommend it to my wife.

so i should stimmulate her nipples 15 minutes per side, several times per day?
what if she squirts me?



QC, haha, very funny.
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Offline odeon

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Re: a coupla more
« Reply #12 on: December 11, 2006, 05:07:07 PM »
Quote from: Litigious on December 11, 2006, 03:04:35 PM
My brother is a sagittarius. His temper is awful. But I'm not sure wether or not to believe in astrology.

No truth in it at all. There's never been a single proof of it working, ever, but there's plenty of evidence of the contrary.
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Offline Callaway

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Re: a coupla more
« Reply #13 on: December 11, 2006, 05:41:51 PM »
Quote from: McJagger on December 11, 2006, 03:24:54 PM
Dec 20th yes.

but my wife is miserable and uncomfortable.  she wakes up every 30 minutes to pee, and has a difficult time sleeping at all because he is moving all the time.

PI recommended that red raspberry leaf tea via pm, maybe i shoud recommend it to my wife.

so i should stimmulate her nipples 15 minutes per side, several times per day?
what if she squirts me?

If she squirts you then you are probably doing it right.  Oxytocin stimulates the let down response and also uterine contractions.  That is why a woman's uterus contracts while she is breast feeding her baby.  Is the baby turned in the proper orientation to be born already?  Has he descended a little into her pelvis?  Is her cervix dilated at all yet?  If not, then it might not be a good idea to stimulate contractions yet, but it is the perfect time for red raspberry leaf tea, so she should start as soon as possible.
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Offline McGiver

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Re: a coupla more
« Reply #14 on: December 11, 2006, 06:31:01 PM »
head is down, yes.

cervix is soft and slightly dialated.

she hates tea, she said no effing way.

looks like i better get to suckling.
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