I for one will be happy to testify that the mastodon is a lying, scheming sack of shit!
I'd call you out, but look where you are.
Hyke tried jumping over a fence to escape the pizza:
That's not me, I can fly.
It was my sweet cousin, that you lifted up with your trunk, and placed there.
She was hoping for some caveman romance, and this is what she got.
There is a price on your head now, in the bovine community.
I'm innocent. Here I am at the time of the crime, surrounded by other members:
Having too many people gathered for your alibi right away is quite suspicious.
And it was you, posting this picture as a trophy.
They were all here anyway, postwhoring.
Posting stopped being a good alibi, when computers were getting some kind of portable.
Then what is your alibi?
I was in the northern part of the Netherlands, and that is not where this happened.
Also, I do not leave trunk marks on victims of mine. Only marks of hooves and horns.