@couldbecousin:
If find what you propose really offensive, in the sense of being inhumane logic. And it doesn't really address the core issue.
Firstly, 'disgust' is a slight mis-wording here, because usually disgust is related to an impulsive if not merely biological reaction to something naturally nauseous (like the smell of spoiled food).
What you effectively mean here is that you disapprove of and find the emotional reaction of the man (which he can't help to have) unpleasant to your expectations, for whatever reason. But that is hard to back up morally, because within every other social convention you would be required to lower or change your expectations in order to accommodate for the other individual's nature. For example, if the dog is licking your hand you are not supposed to be deeply disgusted and offended and throw him into the animal shelter. If someone has Tourette's and insults you, you are not supposed to feel insulted. And it even works to learn that if the reaction is natural, because our social reaction relies upon our understanding of the other individual's feelings and capabilities.
Yes, dogs can be conditioned to not lick hands, although some will never learn without punishment, and people with Tourettes can hold back their tics, maybe even for a whole day if they really try. But to instantly and/or permanently require it with everyone is usually not considered humane.
But this is not so by social norms relating to mating, it is entirely backwards. Why? And I am simply no exception with my sex drive. Every male who tells you differently is in essence bullshitting you. Sex drive doesn't equal personality doesn't equal social appropriateness of course, etc. Those would be the 'excuses' or fudge factors to avoid making the concession that goes against all social rules and the incoherency within them.
Yes, I can keep things to myself. Yes, I can lie and deceive. But I don't want to. I have this compulsion to be open and honest and it must exist for other reasons.
Thus, I still question why you require the silence and deception about it? What has it really to do with reasonable manners to be dishonest? I mean, manners rely on social environments, they are circumstantial. There aren't simply 'the manners' everywhere you can invoke upon arbitrarily. If I fart at home while in this forum, no one cares, because it makes no difference. Neither to you nor to myself. But not being fully acknowledged as human does, while simply knowledge doesn't. It just doesn't fit together, it is all incoherent.
@hykeaswell:
I am not trying to make excuses here, or gain anything. I am questioning the whole system, because it is shit and because I don't understand it and that is the only way to learn.
