Self Injury

[McGiver]

sinse smoking cigs is universally accepted as self injury i will continue on this topic.

i remember that one of the immediate benefits that i noticed from smoking was that it would act as a crutch for me when i was involved in social situations.  i could talk and hide my mouth, and face because i stutter sometimes, especially when i am in a nervous conversation.

[Scrapheap]

I carved "LSD" into my right arm as a teenager. I did'nt enjoy the pain, I just thought I was being "cool".

[Mr Smith]

how the hell is it like taking drugs??

It just stings and leaves a huge gaping hole. Whenever i've been injured it doens't feel like that.

[hiroshima]

Self injury releases endorphins, that is how it's similar to drugs... that is one theory anyway.

PMSelle, about the difference between self injury in spectrum and non-spectrum people, I can't pretend to be an expert; it would be fascinating for it to be studied though.  My guess is that in the spectrum cutters/ self-injurers, there will be a history of self-injury going back to early childhood, whereas in the NT cutters there will be a PTSD trigger of some sort, like sexual abuse or some other abuse or trauma, at a later point in life, or an onset at puberty.  One thing that always mystified me about my self-injury is that I've done it all my life, as far back as I can remember, and I never understood why until getting a plausible reason by learning about AS.  As far as widely defining "stimming--" I don't think it's extraordinary to say that stimming can be self-destructive.  Some people hit themselves with hard objects, or pick their scalp or skin until they bleed, and of course there is head banging.  You might or might not be using cutting as a violent form of stimming... but if you cut to self-calm, that does fit one of the purposes of stimming.  But instead of banging, biting, or hitting, you're using a razor.  Just a theory, I absolutely can't pretend to know your reasons, but for me it made a lot of sense.

Another thing that might be a factor in spectrum self-injury is sensory overload in addition to emotional overload, vs. solely emotional overload.

[Nomaken]

The physical pain distracts from emotional pain, keeps you from thinking and remembering bad things - temporarily.  Personally I am not against self injury as long as it is only to the skin and you are responsible about it, meaning you let the damaged parts heal, you don't damage too much, ect.

[El]

PMSelle, about the difference between self injury in spectrum and non-spectrum people, I can't pretend to be an expert; it would be fascinating for it to be studied though.  My guess is that in the spectrum cutters/ self-injurers, there will be a history of self-injury going back to early childhood, whereas in the NT cutters there will be a PTSD trigger of some sort, like sexual abuse or some other abuse or trauma, at a later point in life, or an onset at puberty.  One thing that always mystified me about my self-injury is that I've done it all my life, as far back as I can remember, and I never understood why until getting a plausible reason by learning about AS.  As far as widely defining "stimming--" I don't think it's extraordinary to say that stimming can be self-destructive.  Some people hit themselves with hard objects, or pick their scalp or skin until they bleed, and of course there is head banging.  You might or might not be using cutting as a violent form of stimming... but if you cut to self-calm, that does fit one of the purposes of stimming.  But instead of banging, biting, or hitting, you're using a razor.  Just a theory, I absolutely can't pretend to know your reasons, but for me it made a lot of sense.

That's my issue then- I have confounded variables.  AS, plus PTSD from verbal/physical abuse since early childhood and continuiung into adolescence.  Oddly enough, my mother cut when she was my age, stopped, then started again when I was in a particularly bad way with it, at baout age 15 (I'd started at 14 or so).  I think she's stopped but to my understanding my biological father also cuts, though I don't know how long he's been doing it, nor do I want to.

[odeon]

As I understand it, one man's (or woman's) pain is the other man's pleasure. There's a rather well-known Swedish author, a woman in her twenties named Berny PÃ¥lsson who's been cutting herself since she was about eleven: She's also schizophrenic and cutting herself was partly a way to keep her demons at bay--apparently, the voices, among others, told her to keep on doing it, and she's been keeping on doing it to the extent of severe damage to nerves and nervous tissue.

Anyway, she's written an autobiography--a fascinating read, btw, but unfortunately in Swedish--but I can't remember she ever described it as being particularly painful. She'd rather describe it in terms of relief.

[Graelwyn]

God, I hate adding to a topic that had drifted down the list. Just thought I would add. I self harmed from when I was 10. Sometimes it was for attention, sometimes it was so I would feel, but mostly it has been a reaction to rage and frustration. I have given up fully trying to understand all the whys and wherefores, but it seems to be present in several disorders, and I bet many have been misdiagnosed as a result.

[Nomaken]

I tear my toenails off quite regularly, however I do that for fun, not to cover up some pain or distract me.

[odeon]

All of them, Nomaken?

[renaeden]

When I was 13 and 14 I used to hit my head on purpose on the wall or the bed post. I really hated myself back then. So I thought I deserved it.

I don't know if picking at my fingernails until they bleed would count. I think it's a nervous thing, I do it a lot to kind of ground myself, to stop from overloading. It keeps my mind from wandering off too much.

[Peter]

I tear my toenails off quite regularly, however I do that for fun, not to cover up some pain or distract me.

* PeterMackenzie thinks that Nomaken will enjoy the torture chambers of the coming dictatorship.

[Nomaken]

Usually just the big toe.