Archbishop of Canterbury grows a pair!

[bodie]

..and here he is

The Most Reverend Justin Welby

I could only find an upper body shot.  He may be conscious of his enormous testicles.

Bwave Justin has announced a war with the rinsing of the poor,  pay day loan company,  -  'Wonga'

Wonga,  who use clever puppety old people to advertise it's loans to try and make them look more acceptable and friendly are to be taken on by The Church of England.   

APR on a wonga loan is something like 5,000%  (yes, five thousand percent)

It's not just Wonga who need to watch out.  There is a whole heap of businesses who make fat profits by loaning money to people who can't afford it.

The Church of England are going to facilitate it's parishioner's to set up 'credit unions' by allowing them to use their buildings and hopefully the fat piles of cash they are sat on.  These credit unions will loan money to the needy at extremely low rates of interest thus putting the wonga's out of business.

My first reaction was to applaud the C of E and offer bwave Justin some relief from his growing nad's.  Nah!  Fuck them.  They have only had five hundred years to come up with something useful to do.  Since they were formed by randy King Henry VIII who needed to break from Rome in order to get a divorce and bone his scullery maid Anne Boleyn (or something like that!) they have finally found 'some good to do'  .... Halle-fucking-luiah 

As news of this filtered through parliament,  Chancellor George Osborne was said to be 'visibly shaken' and needed to sit down.  He, allegedly, managed to make a partial recovery when David Cameron reminded him that 'as, yet, The Church of England are exempt from paying tax'  hmmm.  For how much longer, i wonder.  Anyway, in case anyone is concerned about the Chancellor, don't be, as an unconfirmed source reported he was going to take the rest of the week off to visit his holiday home where he can ponder new ways to extract cash from poor people.  It is his favourite hobby, after all.

It is all true.  For all ye nonbeliever's you can read the story here http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-23433955,  here http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/war-on-wonga-were-putting-you-out-of-business-archbishop-of-canterbury-justin-welby-tells-payday-loans-company-8730839.html or here http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/jul/25/justin-welby-tony-soprano-wonga-payday

*Daily Mail readers are advised to examine the contents of their used toilet paper after gorging on a vindaloo and ten pints of snakebite.  It should provide a similar experience.

 

[RageBeoulve]

Can you give me an explanation? I don't understand.

[bodie]

Yes.  Sorry i forget sometimes my posts should make sense to other people.

Basically there are many companies fleecing low paid people by offering to lend them money if they have been refused by the high street banks.

Interest on these loans can be upto five thousand percent APR.  They soon turn nasty if/when people struggle to repay.

The Church of England have declared war with these companies and are going to be offering loans at much fairer rates.  Hopefully they will put the sharks out of business.

The rest is just me amusing myself with some snide digs at our government and readers of The Daily Mail.   I was 'high' on a few temporary hours of freedom from the urchin.

Do you get it, now?  It's basically good news for people on low incomes who might need a quick loan.

[Semicolon]

Do you pay taxes to support the Church of England? As a state-supported church, how involved in the government is it?

[bodie]

That is a damned good question?

I am clueless.  I will find out and get back to you.

[Semicolon]

That is a damned good question?

I am clueless.  I will find out and get back to you.

Thanks.

Although you agree with the result, I wonder whether starting a business is something a church should be getting involved with. I don't know much about the Church of England, and I don't have much experience with state-sponsored religion.

[Queen Victoria]

"The Church of England are going to facilitate it's parishioner's to set up 'credit unions' by allowing them to use their buildings and hopefully the fat piles of cash they are sat on.  These credit unions will loan money to the needy at extremely low rates of interest thus putting the wonga's out of business."

Credit unions are owned by their members.  They don't pay a whole lot of interest on deposits because they don't charge a lot of interest for loans.  They don't pay dividends to stockholders because the members are the stockholders.

In the US they offer checking accounts, savings accounts, loans, auto loans, mortgages, retirement accounts, group life insurance, etc.  They are regulated and deposits are insured by the federal government up to a certain amount.  They're a pretty good deal. 

[Adam]

Not exactly. We don't pay taxes towards it directly, but the government does help fund some of its buildings. I think that's more about heritage than anything though.

The main problem with an established church here is political. There are 26 places reserved for bishops in the House of Lords (our second chamber,  with the House of Commons). So effectively this is 26 places reserved exclusively for heterosexual christian men. Which should be a problem in itself.

Also with the fucking cunt of the monarchy, we have the extra problem of our UNELECTED HEAD OF STATE also being head of the church. Technically, it's fucking ridiculous, we have an unelceted head of state who's also head of her shitty, hypocritical, kid-raping church (although admittedly not as kid-raping as the Catholics).

In reality though, we're a very secular country. Although the current government are trying to drum up support from the religious (which is strange, as they're also pushing thru the equal marriage legislation lol - probably the only thing this government have got right)

The problem is that it's so entrenched in our legal and political system - albeit in ways that, for the most part, don't have THAT much of an effect - that there would be a huge amount of fuss and bureaucracy required to change either (disestablishing the CoE or abolishing the monarchy)

Both should be done though, if I have to fucking do it myself with a guillotine and a gulag system





























































Ha!

[Adam]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-23459932

Archbishop of Canterbury 'furious over' Church investment in Wonga

The Archbishop had delivered a blunt warning to the boss of Wonga
The Archbishop of Canterbury is understood to be "furious" after the Church of England confirmed it invests indirectly in online lender Wonga.

It comes after the Most Reverend Justin Welby told Wonga boss Errol Damelin the Church would try to force the firm out of business by boosting credit unions.



Oops

[Semicolon]

Not exactly. We don't pay taxes towards it directly, but the government does help fund some of its buildings. I think that's more about heritage than anything though.

The main problem with an established church here is political. There are 26 places reserved for bishops in the House of Lords (our second chamber,  with the House of Commons). So effectively this is 26 places reserved exclusively for heterosexual christian men. Which should be a problem in itself.

Also with the fucking cunt of the monarchy, we have the extra problem of our UNELECTED HEAD OF STATE also being head of the church. Technically, it's fucking ridiculous, we have an unelceted head of state who's also head of her shitty, hypocritical, kid-raping church (although admittedly not as kid-raping as the Catholics).

In reality though, we're a very secular country. Although the current government are trying to drum up support from the religious (which is strange, as they're also pushing thru the equal marriage legislation lol - probably the only thing this government have got right)

The problem is that it's so entrenched in our legal and political system - albeit in ways that, for the most part, don't have THAT much of an effect - that there would be a huge amount of fuss and bureaucracy required to change either (disestablishing the CoE or abolishing the monarchy)

Both should be done though, if I have to fucking do it myself with a guillotine and a gulag system





























































Ha!

I see the problem with reserving seats in an elected government for religious leaders. However, we have gay Anglican leaders in America.

[bodie]

It is hard to find out how much The Church of England is worth.

I did find this, although it is pretty old.

Church of England celebrates its wealth

-31/03/05

The Church Commissioners, who manage assets worth more than £4 billion on behalf of the Church of England, are celebrating their wealth, after reporting a return of 13.6 per cent on their investments last year - placing them in the top three per cent of more than 700 similar funds.

The Church of England has now made £100 million a year from property sales in the past ten years.

Over the past ten years, the Commissionersí total return on their investments has averaged 11.1 per cent per year, compared with 7.9 per cent per year for the industry benchmark.

This places the Commissioners in the top one per cent of funds in the benchmark group for the decade, and compares with average earnings increasing by an average of 4.1 per cent a year and an annual increase in the retail price index of 2.7 per cent.

As a result of this above-average performance over the last ten years, the Commissionersí asset value is £1.3 billion higher at £4.3 billion.

Andrew Brown, Secretary of the Church Commissioners, told the Times newspaper: ìThe portfolioís sound long-term performance reflects both our well-balanced portfolio with its mix of assets and the strength of the Commissionersí stock selection."

The performance in 2004 results from returns in UK equities (13.1 per cent); global equities (5.2 per cent); bonds (6.6 per cent); commercial property (18.8 per cent); rural property (21.1 per cent); residential property (21.9 per cent) and residential value-linked loans (16.5 per cent).

The Commissioners' total expenditure in 2004 was £163.8 million (£164.0 million in 2003).

The main items were (with 2003 figures in brackets):

? £100.2 million (£98.3 million) for clergy pensions based on service before 1998

? £1.5 million (£3.7 million) transitional help for dioceses and parishes with the cost of clergy pension contributions

? £27.1 million (£26.4 million) for parish ministry, mainly payments to dioceses for clergy stipends

? £18.5 million (£17.8 million) for bishops' stipends, office and working costs, and housing

? £6.1 million (£6.1 million) for stipends of cathedral clergy and grants to cathedrals, mainly for staff salaries

? £8.0 million (£8.4 million) for administration and restructuring costs, support for other Church bodies and church buildings

In the previous year, 2003, the Church Commissioners achieved their best investment results since 1999, reflecting the sharp recovery in stock markets during much of that year and 'a good year' for property.

The Church Commissioners invest the wealth accrued since King Henry VIII broke with Roman Catholicism in the 16th century. The commissioners are some of the biggest landowners in England, with 125,000 acres, and invest almost 30 percent of the fund's assets in property.

The Church Commissioners who are accountable to the General Synod of the Church of England and to Parliament were formed in 1948 by joining together two bodies - Queen Anne's Bounty and the Ecclesiastical Commissioners.

ww.ekklesia.co.uk/content/news_syndication/article_050331cofe.shtml

[Adam]

I see the problem with reserving seats in an elected government for religious leaders. However, we have gay Anglican leaders in America.

You can't get gay bishops tho, can you? You can't even get women bishops yet

[Adam]

oh and, by "gay" , obviously i mean "openly gay"

[Semicolon]

I see the problem with reserving seats in an elected government for religious leaders. However, we have gay Anglican leaders in America.

You can't get gay bishops tho, can you? You can't even get women bishops yet

The former Bishop of New Hampshire.

Link

Does he count?

[Adam]

Just gonna have my dinner, will reply in a bit lol

Maybe it's only celibate gay bishops? I dunno