I never asked anyone to defend me, I'm not leaving, etc. I'm not cycling back to anything. I have always been this way
That's what I meant to say.
Wasn't saying you were cycling back, was wondering about a cyclic pattern.
Most people have patterns. When the patterns tend to change, I get curious. Callaway's pattern has changed. And, more than one person on this forum noticed and worried or thought about her. Your pattern changed a bit too. You returned here with greater clarity than ever before. But, the next step in the pattern of you being here seems the way it always was.
The times I have seen you on I2 started relaxed, then a to and fro sparring begins, with some aggravation. Not all just for play. But, you seem to really enjoy it, and you get lots and lots of people to react, who also have fun, mostly. Then, things go sour, and you either leave for a break in time, or after appearing to be really upset. To return after a while, and the cycle goes on.
Not defending you, but wondering.
Patterns are part of who someone is, I guess. And if a pattern like this also happens to you in off-line life, it can make it very hard to find friends and love. It may be worth to ponder on the pattern. Maybe it can help you making contact with people a bit easier.