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Author Topic: Advice pls  (Read 561 times)

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Offline Jesse

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Advice pls
« on: May 15, 2013, 05:13:59 PM »
Ok, so. I talked to my mentally Ill father today on the phone. (He called me) and I need to know how to proceed.
Basically my grandmother had trust fund in it with around $370,000 in it. Its going to be split 4 ways between her children, (my father being one of them) And he is threatening to come out here to visit me and my sister. He wasn't involved in our lives as children, teenagers, or adults. And it was weird because on the phone he acted normal? is this normal? I was trying to be polite like yeah, ok sure, Etc. but I just wanted to scream at his bitch ass, Lol. Once he recives his inheritance He will be kicked off of his Vets disability that he getting. he figures he can live off of whatever his cut is from my grandmothers trust, and then work under the table? somewhere. Alls I told him was watch out, because money goes quickly. I'm sure this asshole is gonna want me to take care of him when he is elderly too. Which wouldn't be a problem if he would have did right by his family

So my question is, do you think I should entertain this mother fucker? Or should I tell him to get lost?
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TheoK

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Re: Advice pls
« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2013, 05:22:30 PM »
Tell him to get lost. I have a feeling that he wants some money from the rest of you as well. He can't live on $92500 for the rest of his life.

But try to do it in a diplomatic way.
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Offline Jesse

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Re: Advice pls
« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2013, 05:25:51 PM »
You bring up a good point. He wants, reguardless of the situation he wants something from us.
Being diplomatic was never an easy thing for me If I turn you down it always looks like I'm being mean to you,  :laugh:

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Offline Al Swearegen

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Re: Advice pls
« Reply #3 on: May 15, 2013, 05:47:28 PM »
I think you want us to confirm what you know is true. You do not need that confirmation
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Offline Jack

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Re: Advice pls
« Reply #4 on: May 15, 2013, 05:47:53 PM »
My sympathy to your situation. Do what's best for Richard. Good luck.
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Offline Jesse

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Re: Advice pls
« Reply #5 on: May 15, 2013, 05:56:40 PM »
your right al swearington.  :plus:

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Offline Gopher Gary

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Re: Advice pls
« Reply #6 on: May 15, 2013, 06:35:55 PM »
Quote from: richard on May 15, 2013, 05:13:59 PM
Or should I tell him to get lost?

Do you want me to tell him?
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Re: Advice pls
« Reply #7 on: May 15, 2013, 08:26:29 PM »
Quote from: Lit on May 15, 2013, 05:22:30 PM
Tell him to get lost. I have a feeling that he wants some money from the rest of you as well. He can't live on $92500 for the rest of his life.

But try to do it in a diplomatic way.
Quote from: Al Swearengen on May 15, 2013, 05:47:28 PM
I think you want us to confirm what you know is true. You do not need that confirmation
:agreed: with both. I have not bothered even speaking to my biological father for about 25 years. My dad is a different matter. I like seeing him and try to make sure that he and my mother have what they need if their computer goes tits up or what ever else might vex them.
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Offline TA

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Re: Advice pls
« Reply #8 on: May 15, 2013, 08:35:57 PM »
$92,500 is not a substantial sum of money, make sure he keeps as much of it as possible. Tell him to put in an interest bearing savings account, and maybe you will be in for a nice inheritance.


If it is too much for you, tell him to piss off.

If you want him around, let him come.

It is all up to you.
« Last Edit: May 16, 2013, 04:55:49 AM by TA »
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Offline McGiver

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Re: Advice pls
« Reply #9 on: May 15, 2013, 09:38:32 PM »
Why don't you tell him that you'll hold onto it (wink wink) so that he can remain o disability.  Then split it with your sister.
Fuck that dead beat.
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Offline Bastet

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Re: Advice pls
« Reply #10 on: May 15, 2013, 10:20:24 PM »
Quote from: McJaguar on May 15, 2013, 09:38:32 PM
Why don't you tell him that you'll hold onto it (wink wink) so that he can remain o disability.  Then split it with your sister.
Fuck that dead beat.

Ohoo! Seconded.
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Offline odeon

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Re: Advice pls
« Reply #11 on: May 15, 2013, 11:03:17 PM »
Don't. Just don't, Richard. He wants things from you, he wants to use you, and if he wasn't there for you when you were a child, he sure as hell won't be there for you now.

I'm sorry. :(

But if you want to see him - which is understandable, considering that we don't get to pick our kin - make sure you have a way out. Don't have him stay at your place, find neutral ground.
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Offline 'andersom'

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Re: Advice pls
« Reply #12 on: May 16, 2013, 05:24:41 AM »
Your father tried to use you before, for some financial tricks, IIRC.
Stay clear from him. And, if your sister does that too, make a front together. Don't let that man destroy your lives, nor let him get between you and your sister.
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Offline El

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Re: Advice pls
« Reply #13 on: May 16, 2013, 05:53:59 AM »
Don't let him stay at your place.

Don't let him VISIT at your place.

If you are curious enough that you want to meet with him, meet him for lunch or something in a public place.  Make it a brief visit.  Have someone plan a "rescue" call so you have an easy out after the first hour or whatever.  And, expect nothing good from him.

You can also just outright tell him to fuck off.

Quote from: McJaguar on May 15, 2013, 09:38:32 PM
Why don't you tell him that you'll hold onto it (wink wink) so that he can remain o disability.  Then split it with your sister.
Fuck that dead beat.

That may actually be what he wants to meet to propose.
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Offline "couldbecousin"

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Re: Advice pls
« Reply #14 on: May 16, 2013, 06:09:09 AM »
Quote from: odeon on May 15, 2013, 11:03:17 PM
Don't. Just don't, Richard. He wants things from you, he wants to use you, and if he wasn't there for you when you were a child, he sure as hell won't be there for you now.

I'm sorry. :(

But if you want to see him - which is understandable, considering that we don't get to pick our kin - make sure you have a way out. Don't have him stay at your place, find neutral ground.

  ^ This.  Tell him you don't have room for guests at your place and he will have to stay elsewhere.
  Meet him for coffee somewhere if you want but don't feel obligated to spend more time with him than you want to.  :thumbup:
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