Jelousey

[Jesse]

Where do you think this arises from? I've been getting serious bouts of jelousey lately and I want to know why, It hardly ever happens to me so its highly unusual

Do you know by any chance?

[McGiver]

Possessiveness.  Is there something you wish to own, but cannot?

[Queen Victoria]

Getting really personal here, richard.  For me, jealousy is almost always tied up with anger, resentment, envy, and insecurity. 

I have envied someone if they have something I don't have, a better house or job perhaps.  I've felt anger and resentment against them.  Over the years I have learned that I just don't use my talents and gifts as well as some other people and therefore they've been able to have a better job, more money, whatever...  I'm learning to be content with what I have, make it look as good as possible, etc.  Besides possessions require money and time for upkeep.

I was jealous of someone because they were interested in PA before we started dating.  Because I was an insecure git who was anxious to get a man, any man, well almost any man, I gave myself a lot of grief.  A lot of my insecurity was loneliness and having autism and ADHD - missing social clues, lack of focus on conversations, etc.   

[Jesse]

Good answers you guys. 

Should I fight the feelings or naturally let them pass? Its weird because when you are minding your own business during the day and wham! jelousey shows its ugly head the feeling is so foreign that it stops you in your tracks. Atleast that way is for me
I can also say I've felt a lot of things in my life and this has got to be one of the worst feelings.

Part of living in this society is to blame I think. but oh well

[Gopher Gary]

Don't dwell on the feelings but be aware they exist.

Do yourself a favor.  Don't be jealous of what others have, rather, work hard for things you desire.

These feelings will pass if you work on yourself.

[Jesse]

People with the letter "R" in their first name are incredibly aware. 

[McGiver]

My name is Robert.

[Jesse]

Nice. just goes to show, it the truth! 

[Queen Victoria]

Since I've started writing this Swearingen post, there have been 4 replies.

Part of living in this society is to blame I think. but oh well - Nope, jealousy has been around as long as mankind.  The lesser animals probably have a simpler emotion, we just haven't recognized it.

What to do? 
If it's causing you physical signs (tense body, raised heart rate, etc.) try to leave the situation and maybe just some fast walking to take care of the extra energy jealousy involves. 

Acknowledge your jealousy, but tell yourself that no one can have everything they want or need.  I often tell the PR that Even Bill Gates and Steven Spielberg can't have everything they want and they're immensely wealthy.  They can't buy a cure for an incurable disease. 

Take a hard look at the thing you're jealous over.  What are the pitfalls of having it?  What will you have to sacrifice to own it?  Cars and houses are expensive to own and keep up.  If it's a person just know that not every relationship goes smoothly, PA has to put up with me and I have to put up with him. 

Besides,  you don't know what the person has had to sacrifice or prioritize to get the thing.  Yeah, they may own a nice car, boat and house, but they may be a half a step ahead of the collection agency. 

Figure out what gives you pleasure in life (and we know what that is, your rocks) and focus on that.  As Suze Ormond says, People first, money second, things last.  In other words, have healthy relationships with people, mind your money for your future and indulge in pleasures when the first 2 things have been taken care of.

[Jesse]

Yeah. Steve Jobs defintley couldn't buy a cure for his Liver. having this conversation with such smart people is making me feel a lot better already

[TheoK]

Jealous on Richard? Why? 

[Gopher Gary]

And oft, my jealousy shapes faults that are not.  ~William Shakespeare

['andersom']

People with the letter "R" in their first name are incredibly aware. 

I was jealous of my sibblings and parents, for having "R" in their names. They all have an "R" in their first name, and most of them have a second "R" too.

Then I decided my merit was not having a single "R" in my whole name.

[Al Swearegen]

When I was a kid, I tried out jealousy. I got jealous of my mate Simon dating Lisa. I really liked Lisa. I stopped talking with him or practicing playing footy with him. She stopped talking to me because she was constantly around Simon.
Two people I liked spending time with.
I thought screw that. I started being friends with them again and gave up on jealousy.

["couldbecousin"]

  I'm seldom jealous because I'm not a romantic contender in the first place. 

   I don't worry about it.  I sit happily on the sidelines, at peace.