The Chairman of The Dyslexic Society has received an OBE, he was heard muttering "I don't know why, I can't play the bloody thing"
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it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.
Serious: I have a kitty.