Ask bodie about her bitties.

['andersom']

Never been interested in diamonds or getting married.

Is Lurch really the marrying kind? Or will it be easier to get his daughter out of Spain, when he is married, instead of being with a fierce mistress and his out of wedlock son? There could be loads of other reasons to get married of course, reasons not to get married are there in abundance too.

I don't know what was behind his proposal to be honest.  He obviously doesn't think marriage vows are sacred.   Maybe he was thinking of the kids, that it might somehow benefit them.

People get married in a lawful, sometimes religious ceremony.  He knows i don't do religion.  As for the law,  well,  i don't respect all laws anyway.  Things have worked out the last eight or nine years  -  without the blessing of God and without acknowledgement from the law so i have no reason to get married.

I don't think all people are suiited to staying with the same partner for life anyway.  People change and grow and i think those who remain happily married for years and years are lucky, or faking it, or maybe just afraid of being alone again.   

I don't think it is wise to remain unhappily married.  An unhappy marriage is not the best environment for kids to thrive.  Some do. People have all kinds of weird and wonderful ways to adapt a marriage.  Each to their own.

My only concern is the urchin.  If i really thought it would benefit him then i would probably get married.  I would do lots of unpalatable things to benefit the urchin.

He is enjoying his childhood.  He has both parents in his life.  We do actually get on really well and have lots of good times.  We buzz off each even when the urchin isn't here.  Life is good.  I know what my parental responsibilities are, as does Lurch and I don't think we need it wrapping up with a law.

I have already embraced the idea of his daughter living with us.  Although she is a runaway and can't be found by the authorities i actaually speak to her every day and we are good friends.   

I am happy.

Getting some things legally arranged, for safety of kids makes sense. (Custody, after break-up, severe illness or death. Things like that.) But marriage is something completely different. Now that things can legally arranged outside that, there is no need for it.

England does not have the weird thing of marriage by common law, has it?

['andersom']

I am happy.

Good!

[bodie]

Oh, and regarding the Spain problem it probably does look better if Lurch can tell them we are getting married.  Not really necessary though as she won't be returned to her mother's care after she abandoned her and with accusations of violence in the family home.

Most experts agree that children are better off with a parent or another family member than institutionalized care! which is all they could offer her.   The law is such that children's own views are taken into account   -  proportionately according to age.  As she is 15 they are obliged to listen to her.  She wants her Dad.  Her Dad has always been a good Dad.  He has no criminal record,  he has never been violent to her or her mother.  It is a done deal, i think and i am sure he could do it alone if he had to.

[bodie]

I would think twice about marrying a man who you know is willing to cheat on his wife, for whatever reason.

Meh, someone could just as easily warn him about women who don't have respect other people's spouses or marriages. Maybe the perfect match.

Because men need to be warned i guess. 

[Semicolon]

Never been interested in diamonds or getting married.

Is Lurch really the marrying kind? Or will it be easier to get his daughter out of Spain, when he is married, instead of being with a fierce mistress and his out of wedlock son? There could be loads of other reasons to get married of course, reasons not to get married are there in abundance too.

I don't know what was behind his proposal to be honest.  He obviously doesn't think marriage vows are sacred.   Maybe he was thinking of the kids, that it might somehow benefit them.

People get married in a lawful, sometimes religious ceremony.  He knows i don't do religion.  As for the law,  well,  i don't respect all laws anyway.  Things have worked out the last eight or nine years  -  without the blessing of God and without acknowledgement from the law so i have no reason to get married.

I don't think all people are suiited to staying with the same partner for life anyway.  People change and grow and i think those who remain happily married for years and years are lucky, or faking it, or maybe just afraid of being alone again.   

I don't think it is wise to remain unhappily married.  An unhappy marriage is not the best environment for kids to thrive.  Some do. People have all kinds of weird and wonderful ways to adapt a marriage.  Each to their own.

My only concern is the urchin.  If i really thought it would benefit him then i would probably get married.  I would do lots of unpalatable things to benefit the urchin.

He is enjoying his childhood.  He has both parents in his life.  We do actually get on really well and have lots of good times.  We buzz off each even when the urchin isn't here.  Life is good.  I know what my parental responsibilities are, as does Lurch and I don't think we need it wrapping up with a law.

I have already embraced the idea of his daughter living with us.  Although she is a runaway and can't be found by the authorities i actaually speak to her every day and we are good friends.   

I am happy.

Getting some things legally arranged, for safety of kids makes sense. (Custody, after break-up, severe illness or death. Things like that.) But marriage is something completely different. Now that things can legally arranged outside that, there is no need for it.

England does not have the weird thing of marriage by common law, has it?

America has it.

['andersom']

England does not have the weird thing of marriage by common law, has it?

America has it.

And, can you cohabitate, without being considered married, in the states where they have it? Or is it a trap, to get all opposite sex couples married by default, to show what a decent bunch of people live in that state?

[Semicolon]

England does not have the weird thing of marriage by common law, has it?

America has it.

And, can you cohabitate, without being considered married, in the states where they have it? Or is it a trap, to get all opposite sex couples married by default, to show what a decent bunch of people live in that state?

It's not a Republican plot to secretly marry people living in sin. It's a way for two people to get married without the involvement of the government. A typical stipulation is that both parties have to consent, and they have to present themselves as husband and wife. As for whether it's been used as a trap for cohabiting couples. I don't know. It's rare nowadays.

[Jack]

I am happy.

Good!

Agreed.

I would think twice about marrying a man who you know is willing to cheat on his wife, for whatever reason.

Meh, someone could just as easily warn him about women who don't have respect other people's spouses or marriages. Maybe the perfect match.

Because men need to be warned i guess. 

Neither probably do, which was the point. Certainly both know what they're dealing with.

[Jack]

England does not have the weird thing of marriage by common law, has it?

America has it.

And, can you cohabitate, without being considered married, in the states where they have it? Or is it a trap, to get all opposite sex couples married by default, to show what a decent bunch of people live in that state?

Same sex couples can share insurance at my work, married or not. It's called domestic partner, so it makes sense that even unmarried opposite sex partners could benefit from that too.

[Queen Victoria]

Common law marriage is allowed in a minority of states. A common law marriage is a legally recognized marriage between two people who have not purchased a marriage license or had their marriage solemnized by a ceremony. Not all states have statutes addressing common law marriage. In some states case law and public policy determine validity.
States With Common Law Marriage
Colorado: Common law marriage contracted on or after Sept. 1, 2006, is valid if, at the time the marriage was entered into, both parties are 18 years or older, and the marriage is not prohibited by other law (Colo. Stat. §14-2-109.5)
Iowa: Common law marriage for purposes of the Support of Dependents Chapter (Iowa Code §252A.3) Otherwise it is not explicitly prohibited (Iowa Code §595.1A)
Kansas: Common law marriage will be recognized if the parties are 18 or older and for purposes of the Divorce and Maintenance Article, proof of common law marriage is allowed as evidence of marriage of the parties (Kan. Stat. §23-2502; Kan. Stat. §23-2714)
Montana: Not strictly prohibited, they are not invalidated by the Marriage Chapter (Mont. Stat. §40-1-403)
New Hampshire: Common Law Marriage: “Persons cohabitating and acknowledging each other as husband and wife, and generally reputed to be such, for 3 years shall thereafter be deemed to have been legally married, until one of them dies.” (N.H. Stat. §457:39)
South Carolina: allows for marriages without a valid license (S.C. Stat. §20-1-360)
Texas: Common Law Marriage in specific circumstances (Tex. Family Law §1.101; Tex. Family Law §2.401-2.402)
Utah: Utah Stat. §30-1-4.5
Not all state statutes expressly allow for common law marriages. In some states case law recognizes common law marriages, including Alabama and Rhode Island. Oklahoma's statute requires couples to get a marriage license; however case law has upheld common law marriages in the state.

['andersom']

I am happy.

Good!

Agreed.

I would think twice about marrying a man who you know is willing to cheat on his wife, for whatever reason.

Meh, someone could just as easily warn him about women who don't have respect other people's spouses or marriages. Maybe the perfect match.

Because men need to be warned i guess. 

Neither probably do, which was the point. Certainly both know who they're dealing with.

fixed

[Jack]

Was written the way it was intended.

[Gopher Gary]

I don't think all people are suiited to staying with the same partner for life anyway.  People change and grow and i think those who remain happily married for years and years are lucky, or faking it, or maybe just afraid of being alone again.   

Yeah, that's the secret to any commitment, blind luck, and faking it. 

[odeon]

Common law marriage does seem like a fundie plot.

['andersom']

Maybe it was to prevent kids being born out of wedlock, in some places too. In history, that could make some sense.
What I heard from people in Scotland, end last century, they felt it was some kind of trap indeed. They told about splitting up for a while, just before a year of cohabitation had past.