I'll type up the whole article tonight but a few of my favs"
"When you reach in a girls pants, it's like an exploratory thing. You're reaching around, hoping you don't find anything weird. And if I am in there and feel some kind of bump or something, i'm like, Excuse me, but what the
hell is that?"
"I wage the never-ending battle to figure out where her clitoris is: Is it this thing? No, that's a fold of skin. What about this? No, that's a different fold of skin. Oh, THERE it is. Okay, yeah. You like that? Shoot. Lost it. Where was that thing again?"
"I have different reactions when girls have condoms ready. If she has a three pack in her dresser, that's good because she's safe. But if she has a 100 pack of Magnums in a candy jar by the bed? It's time to go."