Author Topic: Betraying confidence  (Read 1178 times)

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Offline renaeden

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Re: Betraying confidence
« Reply #15 on: October 25, 2012, 05:56:58 AM »
Was the recent BBC scandal about someone called Jimmy Savile (think I spelt that right)? Just saw on a news show today about him and what he had done to young girls all while being hugely popular. One person said he was hiding in plain sight. Apparently his niece only went to his funeral just so she could make sure he was dead. And his gravestone was wrecked later on by his family.
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Offline El

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Re: Betraying confidence
« Reply #16 on: October 26, 2012, 05:52:28 AM »
I met her when the urchin was at nursery.  She was on work experience from school and she really clicked with my boy and he really adores her. 

I agreed to let  her study him in her child development course.  She now attends the college on my doorstep so i reckon she is 17 or 18.  She has a boyfriend and is getting engaged.

I don't know any other kids from the centre. 

There is something called crimestoppers which is an anonymous phone line you can give information -  i might see if she will do that...or a letter.
That sounds like a good way to go.  Directly pursuing legal action for what he did to the girl you know would, as stated, be difficult for a number of reasons, also including the issue of statute of limitations.

I'd also suggest you encourage the girl to get counseling if she has not already done so.  She's confiding this in someone who she isn't close to and can therefore pull away from at any time, and she's kind of tying your hands as best she can with what you can do with the info- I could be wrong, but it sounds like she's not totally sure what to do about it, herself.

If you were a mandated reporter of child abuse and someone told you something knowing that, then I guess that might be a loophole, but are you?
'at's actually not how mandated reporting works, unfortunately.

How does it work?
We don't have to- and actually, if it was a client, would not be allowed to- report past crimes, even of that nature.  And we can't file on hearsay.  We can only file on something that's happening now (or is current, i.e. child is still underage/abuser still has access/etc., which isn't the case here), which we heard about directly (pretty much from the abuser or the abusee, or maybe someone otherwise directly involved).  We can't file on someone (especially an adult) saying years back X person abused them- even if that person has access to different children now- and we can't file on someone saying that they heard X person abuses children (though, in that case, we can encourage them to file).

It's better than nothing, but the system does sometimes lead to uncomfortable situations where you can't file even though you really want to, as well as situations where you have to file even though you know it's going to get ruled out and/or you really don't think DCF involvement is warranted and won't be helpful.
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Offline Adam

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Re: Betraying confidence
« Reply #17 on: October 26, 2012, 04:13:23 PM »
Was the recent BBC scandal about someone called Jimmy Savile (think I spelt that right)? Just saw on a news show today about him and what he had done to young girls all while being hugely popular. One person said he was hiding in plain sight. Apparently his niece only went to his funeral just so she could make sure he was dead. And his gravestone was wrecked later on by his family.

Pretty awful, isn't it? The guy even LOOKS fucking creepy as hell. Have you seen a photo of him? It's disgusting that he got away with this completely. He's been knighted AND given some kind of catholic knighthood thing by the CC. Sickening.

Offline 'andersom'

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Re: Betraying confidence
« Reply #18 on: October 26, 2012, 05:06:46 PM »
Is there the option of giving anonymous notice of this, Bodi. Maybe the police can't act on that, but, if they got more things like that, on the same man, or even with a single anonymous letter about him, they may be taking other signals way more serious.

If that person you know doesn't want you to officially mention it to the police, then you doing that, and mentioning the name of the victim would be another breach of trust for the victim, and, it could make it harder and harder for her to trust anyone.

Yet, the man who did this, still is in a position where he has easy access to people vulnerable to abuse. And, he'll probably have a nose for that too. So, not mentioning it, hardly is an option, now you know about it.

Anonymous letter, without mentioning the name, or anything that can identify the victim, may be the only reasonable option.

And, it may be, that, if said man gets scrutinised, and exposed, that the one confiding this to you, can find courage to file a complaint, and to find help in dealing with it.
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Offline renaeden

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Re: Betraying confidence
« Reply #19 on: October 27, 2012, 01:32:43 AM »
Was the recent BBC scandal about someone called Jimmy Savile (think I spelt that right)? Just saw on a news show today about him and what he had done to young girls all while being hugely popular. One person said he was hiding in plain sight. Apparently his niece only went to his funeral just so she could make sure he was dead. And his gravestone was wrecked later on by his family.
Pretty awful, isn't it? The guy even LOOKS fucking creepy as hell. Have you seen a photo of him? It's disgusting that he got away with this completely. He's been knighted AND given some kind of catholic knighthood thing by the CC. Sickening.
Yeah, I saw footage of him hugging girls and knowing what he did made that look especially creepy. Also saw him getting awards and stuff, I don't know how he could live with himself doing what he did. It is a good thing to know he won't be doing it to anybody else.
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Offline odeon

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Re: Betraying confidence
« Reply #20 on: October 27, 2012, 01:57:02 AM »
What's really bad is that the BBC knew.
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Offline 'andersom'

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Re: Betraying confidence
« Reply #21 on: October 27, 2012, 04:07:52 AM »
What's really sad is that the BBC is not an exception, when it comes to turning blind eyes.
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Offline Lestat

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Re: Betraying confidence
« Reply #22 on: October 27, 2012, 05:53:39 AM »
If there are  kids at risk, from a paedo, act

If you lose a friend, but save a child from getting abused, its a loss you have to take.
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Offline Adam

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Re: Betraying confidence
« Reply #23 on: October 27, 2012, 06:13:59 AM »
What's really sad is that the BBC is not an exception, when it comes to turning blind eyes.

agreed

Offline bodie

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Re: Betraying confidence
« Reply #24 on: October 27, 2012, 03:52:45 PM »
What's really sad is that the BBC is not an exception, when it comes to turning blind eyes.

agreed

The BBC is worse IMO because:

Many of the hospitals relied heavily on the cash generated by Mr Savile.  He really did raise millions and millions.  His money was useful and did save lives.

The BBC actually paid him for his services.  No, correction  -  WE paid the BBC who then paid him.  OMG i am so glad i didn't pay my licence fee back then, i would feel very dirty. :zoinks:
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Re: Betraying confidence
« Reply #25 on: October 27, 2012, 03:53:35 PM »
He really looked like a creep  :zombiefuck:

Offline bodie

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Re: Betraying confidence
« Reply #26 on: October 27, 2012, 03:57:16 PM »
He really looked like a creep  :zombiefuck:

I used to think he was great when i was a kid.  He used to do a TV show called  'Jim'll fix it' and i wrote to them when i was seven to ask them to fix it so i could do a parachute jump.  They wrote back to say i was too young. :hahaha:
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Offline Natalia Evans

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Re: Betraying confidence
« Reply #27 on: October 27, 2012, 07:53:19 PM »
I'm surprised how he got away with it for so long but at the same time it doesn't surprise me.

Offline odeon

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Re: Betraying confidence
« Reply #28 on: October 28, 2012, 02:30:53 AM »
Unfortunately what he did to those kids is not seen as important when compared to MONEY.
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Offline Bastet

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Re: Betraying confidence
« Reply #29 on: October 28, 2012, 01:57:39 PM »
Unfortunately what he did to those kids is not seen as important when compared to MONEY.

On an old episode of Unsloved Mysteries, this pedophile went to a nudist colony and charmed all the people there. An eleven year old girl was molested by him. The people didn't believe her claims because he was so charming. It wasn't until he had scammed them all out of their precious money they invested with him that they realized he was a child molester.
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