Pet Grammar/Spelling Peeves

[odeon]

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k", Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f", making words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" is disgrasful.

By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI COM TRU!

Herr Schmidt

[renaeden]

^Bloody hell, that is terrible!

['andersom']

 

Everytime I read that, the sound of the language changes more and more to that of the Germans in Allo Allo.

[odeon]

It iz vondeful.

['andersom']

"Houw nais all zeez kidz in ze zoo."

Something like that was the spelling in a story I read long long ago, about two Dutch kids hearing some tourist talk.

[odeon]

If you use the plural form, DO NOT USE THE APOSTROPHE!

It's "things", not "thing's".

[WolFish]

Found on amazon.com:

A Few Spays In The Mouth Can Keep Your Dogs Teeth Clean And Free From Infection

[renaeden]

Not just once but twice:

I actually scratched the apostrophe off this sign, you can just see it:

[odeon]

You must kill them all!

[renaeden]

Anyone for grapfruit?


You would think a hospital would know better.


I used to go to this gym.

[odeon]

I knew I shouldn't have read this thread.

[renaeden]

New peeve: writing breath instead of breathe. 

['andersom']

New peeve: writing breath instead of breathe. 

 

[renaeden]

New peeve: writing breath instead of breathe. 

 

Yes, I saw that! But what made me write that post was my friend who texts me a lot and she made that mistake 3 times, even after I corrected her the first time. Argh!

[Queen Victoria]

In grammar school, I would leave the "e" off of "the."