Share your embarrassing autard moments

[Bastet]

When I was 16 or 17 in high school I was even more naive than I am now. Once, at school, a Black woman(teacher aide) was having a baby. I asked her if it was a boy or a girl and she said, a girl. Then I asked what she was going to name her. She replied "Le Brea" I heard La Brea which was my dog's name, a black labrador. La Brea was named after the La Brea tar pits due to being black. I said ,"My dog is named La Brea!" ,all excited. Anyway she got offended and said indignantly it is Le Brea ,not La Brea and was angry with me which confused me. I pointed out tht La and Le both meant the same thing "the"  was French and La was Spanish. She wasn't happy. Anyway I said how I noticed how Black people name kids with words that have to do with the color black like Ebony and Raven. So, I said Onyx was black used in jewelry maybe Onyx would be a good black color name. She seemed to like the idea. Then like the autard I am, I suggested the name Tara because it had the word tar in it since tar in black....  She then became pissed off with me and said that's racist and said it isn't a good name because of (something about tar babies) and I didn't understand what she was talking about since I never heard of that racial slur so my brain somehow heard that people throw babies into tar pits which caused me to go into an indignant Aspie rant about how throwing babies in tar is child abuse.  :lolwat: Anyway a nice older Black lady who reminded me of my grandmother defended me because she knew I wasn't racist. That one gal didn't like me after that, though. The older lady tried to explain I was being literal but some people are very determined to hate you no matter what the facts are.   

[Pyraxis]

One time when I was 13 I was in the back room of the classroom working on an independent project, and the resource teacher was also in there, tutoring one of the students who needed help. While he was working on his stuff she started talking to me and telling me stories about her childhood, interrupting the work I was doing. I was really irritated. She kept telling me this long convoluted story about some kid who was her friend. Someone asked her what the friend looked like and she described all these things, but the person couldn't work out who the friend was. The big punchline of the story was that the friend was black, but it hadn't occurred to the resource teacher to mention the color of her skin.

Then she sat there and waited for me to respond. Like she wanted me to praise her for being a good little unracist white person or something. Whoosh straight over a 13-year-old clueless spectrum kid's head. I got almost nothing done that class period and I couldn't work out why she wouldn't leave me alone.

Now I think it was because the student she was tutoring was black and she was trying to impress herself on him or something.

I don't think that beats your La Brea story though. That would have been pretty hilarious to overhear.

[Queen Victoria]

I was still in high school, maybe 17 or so.  Mom, my sister and I were walking back to the car after a night time Mardi Gras parade.  On the corner of Canal and Camp Streets, a white dude and a black dude got into a knife fight.  I just stood there watching them, evidently too close for my Mom's comfort.  She dashed in and yanked my back so hard I fell down.  To this day I don't think I was in any danger.  It was just so fascinating to see a knife fight. 

[Frolic_Fun]

I remember when I went to visit my uncle for the first time in London when I was 8. He introduced my family to his boyfriend Terry, tall black guy and was quite friendly.

This was literally my first time I met a black person (Ireland at the time had almost no immigrants) and presumed all the black people on TV were actors in makeup. Anyways, I went up to Terry and asked him possibly the most autistic question ever, to the shock of my family:

"Why are you black? Is it makeup? Did they put you in an oven for too long?"

Everyone except Terry got really offended, presuming I was insulting him. Terry just laughed and answered "I was born this way, all natural" while smiling. It was only recently they realised I was being literal and naive.

[ZEGH8578]

a cringy moment in my lifee (forgive bad grammar, im fuckin drunk..)
me was maybe 10-12, my brother would be 6-8 somewhere

my mothers in the bathroom, my brother asks through the door
out of the blue
"maaaaaaaaaaaaah, did you suck my dads wee-wee?"

i froze

the reply, i did not want to hear
but i did




i did
he ran out of the house, blissful, happy, careless,

me
i remained petrified
traumatized

[renaeden]

Most of my embarrassing (to others) moments are when I speak too loudly in public. Apparently I am unskilled in voice modulation.

[Burning One]

Oh gosh to many to write down, actually I could write a book on the spech moments in my life...Lord...Hum a few that come to mind:

Story 1:

Around the age of 9 my family and I would travel up to a time share my grandmother used to own...As a child I loved the swans that would flock around, swim and such...I'd run in the general direction of the flock as they were near the bank and throw bread at them 'here eat it!' a bit of a whee moment as a kid...At first they loved it, then they began to peck and bite me, there teeth would rip and bruise my skin but sense I have a high pain tolerance it didn't register as abnormal just oh they must want more...

A bit later on before we left there were 5 swans near the timeshare apartment, I was so giddy that I ran up to 'hug/pick up' one of these poor things, and ended up picking up the ahem wrong end...My index finger went up the feather covered rear end and the poor thing honked, as I was hugging/rectal examining it, and ran into the apartment a bit miffed and covered in green swan shit... Much to the amusement of the adults there and the annoyance of my germ a phobe father



Story 2:

Around age 13 our family went camping, I had my very own pink fishing rod  My dad was teaching me how to cast a line all week long and I never could get it quiet correct because of my smooth motor coordination skills  So by the end of the trip I in a moment of un-genius deside to try one last time without water because that was probally the issue to begin with...

I end up casting the line and it gets cought in my shorts, dad goes all nuts on me thinking the hook is in my skin, twas not...He was pissed the rest of the way home...But I did catch myself instead of a fish...


Story 3:

Age 17 in high school, borderline anorexic and really grumpy version of myself with upper diet pills not a good combination...When a fellow female student asked if thus an such garment made her look 'fat' or what have you I'd answer honestly which usually was a yes or a snark combination of something else...Also I didn't get the whole thing with females all going to the bathroom at the same time, to stair in the mirror and talk at the sinks? What for? Still do not understand the logic behind it at 28 years of age...

I'll add more as I remember them

[midlifeaspie]

There was this one time that I joined a web forum for spazzes 

[Genesis]

Actually there is alot that I can recall, but one that struck out to me the most, was asking if this lady was wearing clown make-up.... She was offended and threaten to put me in a elementary detention known as Toll. I was around 4th or 5th grade at the time....

The next one was randomly asking a person that I knew who was affiliated with this one other person how that person was doing..... My sister reminded me that I have a tendency to be awkward sometimes.....

Thats about it....

[Joel Knox]

When I was being taught basic sentence structure at school, I wrote the actual words 'full stop' instead of a full stop at the end of my sentences...


...

[Genesis]

When I was being taught basic sentence structure at school, I wrote the actual words 'full stop' instead of a full stop at the end of my sentences...


...

Thats natural....

[Lestat]

When I was JUST out of toddler age and a beginning primary school, I got evaluated by  psych who just so happened to be a negress. She asked me  questions that were evidently  ones  I  felt to be stupid and obvious, committing the cardinal sin of repeating the same repeatedly. I was too young to remember this, but apparently I was repeatedly patronized so badly, that I felt really humiliated and I took only so much of it from this negress, and out of frustration, made some really rude comment about bashing on bongo drums, and stuck a pencil in her leg.

I am told I was perhaps 4-5 or so.

Didn't embarrass me, I was just really ocked fuff at it for asking me stupid questions like 'do you know your name', but every other person, and of course the negress herself was absolutely mortified.

[Genesis]

I act awkwardly when I am flirting with girls..... 

[Phallacy]

I have them a lot. Causes me to just stay pent up in my apartment or just avoid talking with people.

[midlifeaspie]

When I was JUST out of toddler age and a beginning primary school, I got evaluated by  psych who just so happened to be a negress. She asked me  questions that were evidently  ones  I  felt to be stupid and obvious, committing the cardinal sin of repeating the same repeatedly. I was too young to remember this, but apparently I was repeatedly patronized so badly, that I felt really humiliated and I took only so much of it from this negress, and out of frustration, made some really rude comment about bashing on bongo drums, and stuck a pencil in her leg.

I am told I was perhaps 4-5 or so.

Didn't embarrass me, I was just really ocked fuff at it for asking me stupid questions like 'do you know your name', but every other person, and of course the negress herself was absolutely mortified.