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Author Topic: im a total asshole, with nice qualities.  (Read 840 times)

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Offline Zippo

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im a total asshole, with nice qualities.
« on: May 14, 2012, 03:40:58 PM »
so today i was coming home from grandparents... i get off the ferry [as i live on a small island and so do they i have to travel via boat to get to them. and at the ferry dock i am waiting for the bus.

this old lady is dragging a bag behind her that would be twice her size if she was any smaller [i would place her between 4 ft 11 inch and 4 ft 9 inch... AND SHE WASN'T ASIAN! HAH!]

any ways she realises the bus stairs are to steep for her to climb up before boarding... the lady in front of me offers to let her up first and i think "fucking cunt. she can wait like the rest of us." because honestly? who fucking does that? im not into the norms of society but i follow them to the letter unless something has to happen now... you don't HAVE to get on the bus NOW. its not like its going to drive off without you if your going to be the last one on. there is no last man out scenario with the bus if your in line.

so this lady looks at her and says "that bag looks heavy... do you want help taking it up?" and so i think... maybe... just maybe... that lady is not a cunt at all. the old lady says to her "ill get the bus driver to help me, its no fret."

i was wrong. the lady in front says to the older woman "im sure this young man would be perfectly willing to help"
im going through withdrawal from not being on my meds at my grandma at this point and also was sick and doing heavy work on a daily basis over there with there wood for there furnace [heats the house. they needed over 4 cords chopped and stacked. i did three and left one for my cousins who are coming over next week. i could have done the last one. but im an ass hole. HAH]

basically. i snap... i look at that lady and say "NO! fuck you you cunt! you want to offer help to an old lady you help her yourself! you don't put someone on the spot by saying they will help them when you have never spoken to, met or even seen them before in your life. YOU lady are a bitch. you lady can go fuck yourself."

i am now having every passenger and the bus driver staring at me in shock. i turn to the nice but obviously shocked elderly woman who's standing there in shock and say "but ma'am, i would be happy to help you if you need it." promptly picked up her bag, helped her onto the bus sat down. i even stayed and helped her off the bus purposely getting up and cutting off the woman who i bitched out in the isle well doing so just to slow her down and be a pain in the ass... and after me and the elderly women got off the bus i promptly flipped off the lady i flipped out on and walked home.
« Last Edit: May 14, 2012, 03:55:46 PM by Zippo »
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                                                         Zippo, Shotgun Surgeon.
if theres bees in the trap im catching them, by the thorax and abdomen. and sanding there stingers down to a rough quill. then i dip em in ink and i scribble a bit, and if the wriggle than i tickle them until they hold still, let me say it again, in my land of pretend, i use bees as a mother fucking pen!

midlifeaspie

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Re: im a total asshole, with nice qualities.
« Reply #1 on: May 14, 2012, 03:50:58 PM »
You okay?  I don't remember your spelling being this bad.
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Offline Zippo

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Re: im a total asshole, with nice qualities.
« Reply #2 on: May 14, 2012, 03:52:05 PM »
Quote from: Cumberdale on May 14, 2012, 03:50:58 PM
You okay?  I don't remember your spelling being this bad.

was to lazy to spell check


EDIT: better? i know the correct way to spell most of the words i miss-spelt but i just spell phonetically when i type so a lot of words come out wrong if i dont think about how to spell them.
« Last Edit: May 14, 2012, 03:57:26 PM by Zippo »
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                                                         Zippo, Shotgun Surgeon.
if theres bees in the trap im catching them, by the thorax and abdomen. and sanding there stingers down to a rough quill. then i dip em in ink and i scribble a bit, and if the wriggle than i tickle them until they hold still, let me say it again, in my land of pretend, i use bees as a mother fucking pen!

Offline Callaway

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Re: im a total asshole, with nice qualities.
« Reply #3 on: May 14, 2012, 04:22:46 PM »
I used to hate it when people volunteered me to do something too, even if I was willing to do it if I had been asked, so I know what you mean, Zippo.
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Offline Phallacy

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Re: im a total asshole, with nice qualities.
« Reply #4 on: May 14, 2012, 05:34:07 PM »
Was it really that big of a deal?
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Offline Zippo

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Re: im a total asshole, with nice qualities.
« Reply #5 on: May 14, 2012, 06:28:49 PM »
Quote from: Orgasmatron on May 14, 2012, 05:34:07 PM
Was it really that big of a deal?

probably not but it seemed so at the time.
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                                                         Zippo, Shotgun Surgeon.
if theres bees in the trap im catching them, by the thorax and abdomen. and sanding there stingers down to a rough quill. then i dip em in ink and i scribble a bit, and if the wriggle than i tickle them until they hold still, let me say it again, in my land of pretend, i use bees as a mother fucking pen!

Offline "couldbecousin"

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Re: im a total asshole, with nice qualities.
« Reply #6 on: May 14, 2012, 06:37:10 PM »
Quote from: Zippo on May 14, 2012, 06:28:49 PM
Quote from: Orgasmatron on May 14, 2012, 05:34:07 PM
Was it really that big of a deal?

probably not but it seemed so at the time.

 That sounds like most of the stuff I get angry at.  Later I'm embarrassed.   :paperbag:
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Offline 'andersom'

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Re: im a total asshole, with nice qualities.
« Reply #7 on: May 15, 2012, 05:18:39 AM »
You made me laugh so hard, Zippo.

Love your reaction. Condemning and generous. Fabulous, awesome, film worthy.
HAd I been on that bus, I would have burst into tears from laughing, I fear.

Yeah, pretty rude too, but, she had it coming. And even Canadians need an exception to the rule.  :plus:
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Offline Icequeen

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Re: im a total asshole, with nice qualities.
« Reply #8 on: May 16, 2012, 12:56:25 PM »
You met my MIL.  :LOL:
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Offline Zippo

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Re: im a total asshole, with nice qualities.
« Reply #9 on: May 16, 2012, 01:08:56 PM »
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                                                         Zippo, Shotgun Surgeon.
if theres bees in the trap im catching them, by the thorax and abdomen. and sanding there stingers down to a rough quill. then i dip em in ink and i scribble a bit, and if the wriggle than i tickle them until they hold still, let me say it again, in my land of pretend, i use bees as a mother fucking pen!

Offline Parts

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Re: im a total asshole, with nice qualities.
« Reply #10 on: May 16, 2012, 06:34:00 PM »
 :lol1: I don't like being volunteered either and would have been in a bit of a mood myself after chopping three cords of wood :plus:
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Offline bodie

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Re: im a total asshole, with nice qualities.
« Reply #11 on: May 17, 2012, 03:58:32 PM »
I am just 'wow' that you live on an island,  i thought only Richard Branson did that!

If i had been you zippo i would have said to the lady who volunteered you  "well, i would gladly help her but your big fat arse is in the way"

I would have said to the old lady  " I will gladly help you as soon as the woman with the mouth bigger than her arse gets out the way"

I would have said to the bus driver  "gtf up off your lazy arse, you sit down all day it will be good excersise to help her"

You did good anyway,  fuck em.  Glad you helped her, though.
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Offline renaeden

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Re: im a total asshole, with nice qualities.
« Reply #12 on: May 19, 2012, 12:52:58 AM »
Just wondering why you don't take enough meds to last you when you go to stay at your grandmother's place.
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Offline Zippo

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Re: im a total asshole, with nice qualities.
« Reply #13 on: May 19, 2012, 01:28:32 AM »
Quote from: renaeden on May 19, 2012, 12:52:58 AM
Just wondering why you don't take enough meds to last you when you go to stay at your grandmother's place.

forgot to pack them period. and i was allready over by the time i noticed.
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                                                         Zippo, Shotgun Surgeon.
if theres bees in the trap im catching them, by the thorax and abdomen. and sanding there stingers down to a rough quill. then i dip em in ink and i scribble a bit, and if the wriggle than i tickle them until they hold still, let me say it again, in my land of pretend, i use bees as a mother fucking pen!

Offline renaeden

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Re: im a total asshole, with nice qualities.
« Reply #14 on: May 19, 2012, 02:37:23 AM »
I know you have done it before though. It is not good for you to keep putting your body (and mind) through withdrawal.
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