Books I've Never Read

[Natalia Evans]

  right now it would be  'how to raise dogs and urchin's and preventing urchin's from using the new found button to wind mummy up which is the word FUCK'

If my daughter had learned that word when she was the urchin's age, she would have said it a million times, so I was careful not to let her hear it.  I don't know how I would have dealt with it at that age.  Now, she feels like I lied to her by not teaching her what the curse words are, so I have been letting her hear a few.  So far, she hasn't repeated them.

That reminds me of the time I learned the f word and then finding out stupid or idiot or shut up or duh weren't bad words so I thought fuck wasn't bad either. So I started to say it and my parents kept trying to punish me and I would keep on saying it until my mother threatened to slap my mouth. I said it in a restaurant and she slapped my mouth. I never said the word again. For a while.

Four years later, I learned the n word and mom tells me it's worse than the f word and she starts to go on and on about it and I was like "okay I know." She wanted to make sure I really understood it's truly a bad word, not a bad word as in not a nice word like stupid or dumb or idiot. She didn't want history to repeat itself except this time it be with the n word instead of the f word. Oh yeah I found out at the end of the school year from my old best friend that when her grandfather found out she and her cousin both taught me that word, they got in trouble by him. She told that story to another girl on the bus and she was sitting behind me. I'm guessing their grandfather knew if I learned that word, I would never stop saying it.

How old were you when you learned the F word?

My daughter perseverated on certain words and phrases when she was preschool and elementary school age, so she would have said it non-stop. 

For example, she learned to say, "My beads!  My sash!  My ribbons!" from watching the Disney movie Cinderella when she was in first grade and said those exact words while she ripped her friend's dress like the bad stepsisters ripped Cinderella's dress.  Her paraprofessional told me about it and sent the torn dress home with her.  I fixed the little girl's dress and explained to my daughter that ripping someone's clothes is not OK because now her friend has to wear a dress that won't be as nice as it was before it was fixed.  So we decided that she could earn some money by doing some work for me and we could go buy her friend a new dress and then I beaded some socks to match it.

I was eight when I learned the f word. Late I know but my parents never said it around me was why. But yet when I was five, I learned the word Thumpkin and the way I was saying it, my nanny thought I was saying fucking. I mean I was holding up that finger and saying it and she couldn't figure out I was trying to say Thumpkin.

[Natalia Evans]

I knew bad words since age two but didn't start saying them until age four or five when I started talking. I started to say damn and shit because my dad always said them when he work and get mad. So I learned how they were used and started to say them and mom would give me the correct word to use. But when I kept saying them, she would threaten to slap my mouth and would when I say them again. That taught me to not say them or get hurt. I wasn't even allowed to say shut up either even though that isn't a bad word. But I got ketch up and shut up mixed up so I was calling ketch up shut up. Mom had to correct me when I was saying that at the table one time. Then she threaten to slap my mouth if I kept on saying it.

Then at age six, my three year old brother asked mom how come our dad gets to say all these bad words and mom told him "He is a grown up and he is being very naughty." Then she say it would hurt her hand if she spanked him for it and hurt grandma's hand too. Then finally she said those were grown up words and kids were not allowed to say them.

Then at age 12 it became acceptable to swear if you are very very very mad so one day my mom was in the living room reading a book and she had the window open so she can hear my brother and friend play in the sand box. He kept insulting my brother and my brother kept telling him to stop. He didn't so he finally cursed at him and my mother put the book down and went outside.  She talked to the friend and he didn't seem to get what he was doing wrong. All he knew was damn is a bad word and the words he were using were not bad. He could not get why my mom was making a big deal out of his language but not my brother's so she sent him home. Mom thinks he probably had AS too because he took things so literal and didn't seem to get it but yet he was very bright. She used to say he had bad parents and then all of a sudden she was saying they were good parents because they were trying their best but didn't know what to do with him.

[midlifeaspie]

I don't thing it's the slightest bit cute or funny when kids swear, so I don't do it myself.  I explained that some people talk like that because they don't have the vocabulary to express themselves and their feelings otherwise and that unfortunately, some kids don't learn any better because that's what their parents say and they imitate them.

I couldn't disagree more.  I am opposed to the very concept of a "bad word".  I don't live in medieval Europe and don't think that the gods are going to curse me for using certain phonemes in a certain order.  I think it is ridiculous.  My kids will know all the words and how and when to use them properly.  If you don't know how to properly "swear" you really don't know how to express yourself.  Sure, there are appropriate and inappropriate times, and appropriate and inappropriate people to do it in front of.  Teaching a child how to maneuver the social order of things is a much more challenging job than teaching verbal abstinence because of outdated morality.

It's not because of outdated morality that I do not use swear words in front of my daughter.  It's because I don't want to hear them coming from her innocent mouth a million times.

She has heard several swear words now that she is older, but the difference is that now she's old enough to know that she isn't supposed to repeat them.

I reject the idea that phonemes remove "innocence"

[Icequeen]

I spent alot of time in the garage helping my dad. I learned "fuck" and a few others at an early age.

Then I married a redneck bartender and my vocabulary widened even more.

My son's 13...ever heard a group of 13 year old boys when no adults are in earshot?    (13 yr old girls aren't much better, or at least I wasn't) It was harder when he was younger I'll admit.

I really don't believe in "bad" words, I think a word is only really bad if it makes a person feel bad by saying it...and then it's not the word, it's the person using it and "how" they used it.

I don't make a fuss about it, my rules are...try not to use it out in public because it does make people think less of you sometimes and I'm not dealing with phone calls from alarmed parents and shocked neighbors, don't use it at your girlfriends unless you don't want invited back, and if you slip and say it at school they'll give you detention...so that is on you...mom will NOT bail you out.

If you're going to cuss, cuss responsibly and in moderation.

[Adam]

^ That makes sense

I try not to use it in public much,  for the same reason.

I try not to use it TOO much on facebook etc as well, but I just dont care enough to stop completely. Anyone who regularly reads my facebook statuses probably knows I swear a lot

When I was 13 we swore all the time when there were no adults around. Kids pick up these words whether you like it or not. If I had a 13 yr old and haerd them swearing with their friends when they thought I couldn't hear, I wouldn't be bothered. I'd only say something if they didnt seem to know when was inappropriate to swear. Most teenagers seem to know this though, so I dont think it's a p-roblem.

Also I agree with IQ about the meaning/intention behind the word and whether it hurts someone. No such thing as a bad word itself.

[midlifeaspie]

 

I would MUCH rather my kid said that something was "fucking hilarious and made me laugh my ass off" versus telling some kid "you look poor, I bet your parents don't love you".  Only one had "bad words" and only one is saying something bad.

[Yuri Bezmenov]

The Chinese Population Explosion by: Wee Fukm Yung.

[Gopher Gary]

There's Something on the Wing, and Other Reasons to Avoid Flying, by Pappy. 

[Gopher Gary]

I'm glad you got that reference. 

[Queen Victoria]

365 Ways to Fix Vegan Hamburgers.

[Gopher Gary]

Royal e-ncounters: My Secret Life in Tech Support, by Queen Victoria