I had a row with my brother recently, in the park. It was over a dog. Details are:
Old lady walks through the park every day with her dog. An old Pekingese. We are both regulars in the park at that time of day and acknowledge each other with a smile or a nod or an occasional quip about the weather. A few weeks ago, i had my brother with me as he was kicking a ball about with the urchin (a skill i have not mastered) old lady passes by, but she has her dog on wheels! Fuck knows what the correct terminology is for this contraption but the dogs back legs were on a board several inches above the ground and below it were two maybe pram sized wheels. It was a ridiculous sight. It was using its two front legs as normal.
I had a bit of a row with my brother because he thought i should go and tell this old lady to go and have her dog put to sleep. He didn't say dog actually, he said 'cunt licking lap rat' which is what he thinks of 'companion breeds'. I knew her dog was old and it had been struggling for ages. What I didn't know, however, was if it was suffering or not?, or how he felt about his back wheels. I did not want to tell her to put her pet to sleep, and i didn't.
Hey! it's not my business!
Well i was wrong. And he was right. As much as i hate to admit it. I saw her earlier
. Her dog is worse. It's breathing is very laboured yet she insists on having him manoeuvre across the park for some fresh air. I studied the animal closely for the first time today. I knew it was old - but it is fucking ancient. I was appalled by the scratches and scabs on its back end, and from the smell of it, it is obvious the poor fucker has been 'resting' it's back legs in his own pee. If his back legs were barely functional before his wheels came along i reckon they are truly fucked now! It also has a problem with it's eyes, they are gunked up with snot. I could have cried.
I decided to ask her about the wheel thing, and she said her 'vet' had supplied it. I said something about her dog struggling and she just flippantly said something like how happy he is when he gets home and lies by the fire beside her.
I said nothing else. I regret that. She might be spending many a happy evening thinking of old times with her dog, but her dog sure as hell isn't. Dogs are intelligent but their brains are not constructed to hold 'treasured memories' as such. They remember things, sure, but only if prompted or reminded. Dogs live 'in the moment' and if all it knows is pain and suffering then it is time. I don't care if you are 'ready' or 'upto' it. Don't have a dog unless you can do this final thing for them. I have cried rivers, i have photo albums i just can't 'open' and a stereophonics album i can't even listen to because it brings me to tears over the dogs i have lost. I have never been 'ready' and no, there is never a good time. There is only the right time.
I am going to go to the park every day to try and see this lady again. I just don't know what to say to her? I hate bizzybodies, but i can't stop thinking about this poor dog. Obviously the lady herself is lonely and i don't want to give her grief, but something needs to be done.
The dog is beyond 'dead' and she clearly is keeping it alive because she can't bear to say 'goodbye'.
I am in Disturbia, and i can't find the exit.